Tala's staying over!
by khooxp
Summary: PLEASE READ! It's crazy random humor! Where there are a lot of vulgarities, lots of chaos, and even weird mentions of rape! Kai and Tala are OOC! They're going to school now too! Watch Bryan go crazy, as well as some other characters!
1. pikachu?

XP: Hi. This story might be OOC. Warning you ahead. … I do not own beyblade or pokemon XD so anyway, the humor's at the end. So you must read until there…I'm so bad to Tyson ):

Kai walked gracefully, his white scarf swishing behind him, left and right, left and right, twirling in rhythm, something Ray would never get bored of looking at. Everyone was staying at Tyson's dojo- Hilary, Kenny, Max, Kai and himself. Hiro was there too. Everyone was supposed to do household chores. Hiro was out with his friends, he was a young adult after all. Max was down with a fever. Kenny was researching something, Tyson was just plain lazy.

Well, Ray cooked ALL their meals, and seeing how much Tyson ate, he must cook a LOT. Hilary was afraid of the insects, the soap was irritating his hands etc… and Tyson's grandpa was getting old, so Kai was doing most of the chores. He didn't complain like the others though. He did his work silently.

"K-man, you okay?" The old man asked. Kai gave a small smile and continued working. "Ya sure ya don't need help?" Kai shook his head. "It's okay." He vacuumed the floor. After he finished, he went to take care of Max. He flipped the cool and damp handkerchief on Max's head. "Thanks, Kai," Max said weakly.

Kai placed the back of his hand on Max's cheek. It was cool was soothing. Max leant into the touch, and Kai placed both of his hands on Max's flushed cheeks. "Go to sleep, Max," He whispered softly. Max nodded and closed his eyes. After Max's breathing evened out, Kai left the room and started to wash the dirty clothes, hang the clean but wet clothes, take down the dry ones, and fold them.

"Lunch time!" Ray announced. Tyson got out of bed, Hilary and Kenny got off the couch, and Tyson's grandpa came out of nowhere (lol). Kai took Max's share and went to Max's room. He gently shook Max awake. "Wake up and eat, Max." Max slowly begun to eat, as Kai felt Max's forehead with his own. Max flushed slightly. After he ate his pills, Kai ruffled Max's hair. "Go back to sleep."

Max loved Kai's voice. It was soft and gentle in a gruff kind of way. Max beamed at him as he went out of the room. "You're not eating, Kai?" Ray asked worriedly. "Not hungry." He began to wash the dishes.

"K-man, can ya help me water the plants?" Tyson's grandpa hollered. Kai went out of the door. Ray watched him walk out. His stance was still as straight as ever, but Ray could see that Kai was tired. But Kai didn't complain one bit. Kai watered all the plants. He wiped the sweat from his forehead with one hand. "I'm done, Grandpa."

Tyson's grandfather had insisted Kai call him that, knowing what kind of grandfather Kai had. After everything was done, Kai collapsed onto the couch, causing everyone to look at him. Kai glared at them in return, carelessly throwing one arm over his eyes.

"Guys, maybe you guys should help with the household chores…" Ray suggested. Hilary gave him a horrified look. "But my hands!" Tyson gave him a similar look. "But it's hard work!" Kenny kind of shrunk into himself, not willing to take part in this discussion.

"Then what about Kai? I know it's hard work. But he does them all! He has hands too!" Ray's voice got higher and angrier. "Since he does them all, he can continue doing them," Tyson retorted. Ray opened his mouth to scream at Tyson, but a hand on his shoulder stopped him. It was Kai. Kai shook his head, telling Ray to drop the subject. He didn't want Ray to fight with them for that little thing.

Kai sighed and jumped out of the window. He ignored their protests. "See? He still has energy," Tyson said stubbornly. "God, Tyson, you can be such a brat sometimes!" Ray smacked his forehead with his palm.

Kai looked up at the now dark sky. It was pitch black, and a lamp on the street was flickering on and off ominously. He sighed, but a mix of confused emotions crossed his face when he looked up and saw the luminous full moon. He begun making his way to the place he promised to be at.

Tala was already there, the breeze making his stray strands of hair flutter. He was seating under the sakura tree, playing absentmindedly with the green grass on the ground. "Tala," Kai called out, his scarf trailing around him like a pair of wings. Tala rubbed his eyes then, as Kai looked like an angel under the pale moonlight.

Kai sat beside him wearily. Tala glanced at him in concern. "I know we're supposed to hate each other but… just for…today…" Kai trailed off. He moved closer to Tala and rested his head on Tala's chest. The warmth and familiarity made him at ease. He snuggled closer to Tala as Tala put an arm around him protectively. "For today…" Tala echoed.

He kissed Kai's forehead gently, before turning his head up to howl at the moon. Tala's howl lulled him to sleep, clutching the front of Tala's shirt like a little child. Tala watched Kai sleep silently. He brushed the stray locks of hair away from Kai's forehead. "Why can't you love me Kai…?" Tala asked softly. Kai did not respond.

The morning came quickly, and Tala had not slept a wink. He was content watching Kai sleep. Little did they know that someone had seen them. "Nnh…" Kai mumbled, his eyes fluttering open. "Thank you, Tala. And… I'm sorry…" Kai stood up shakily and yawned. "I'll be… going back now…"

"…Bye, Kai," Tala said softly. Kai smiled sadly at him. They still couldn't forgive each other…Kai ran off, seeing the sun high up in the sky. The bladebreakers must be awake by now.

As he ran, he felt something thumping against his chest. He looked down and smiled. It hung around his neck with a glittery silver chain, ending in a wolf pendant that was translucent. It shone a weak orange color. He laughed, because he felt like laughing, and then he ran like he had never ran before, the wind embracing him, giving him strength.

When he reached the dojo, he mentally smacked himself. Holding a hand to his lips, he blushed. 'Why am I so happy…?' He looked down at the pendant, before hiding it in his shirt. 'Tala…' He felt the coolness of the metal on his chest, and he felt so happy like he was going to burst. He took in deep breaths and walked into the dojo.

"Where were you, Kai?!" Everyone hollered at the same time. Apparently all of them had to do housework due to Kai not being there to do any. Kai sweatdropped then smiled cheekily at them. "I was taking a break." Then he realized how OOC he was, so he added coldly, "It's none of your business anyway." Everyone stared at each other. Did Kai smile or was it an illusion?

"Er, you eating lunch, Kai?" Ray asked. It was definitely impossible for Kai to smile… he would smirk but… To his surprise, Kai nodded.

The next few days, Kai would dutifully do housework without any complains, and he was back to his cold arrogant self. Until the next full moon however, he sneaked out in the middle of the night. He speeded down to their regular waiting spot excitedly. Tala was already there, as usual.

"Hiwatari," Tala acknowledged curtly. To his surprise Kai jumped onto him and gave him a warm hug. Kai smiled, "It's unfair to give me your prized possession, Tala. So I'll give you mine." He hung a similar chain around Tala's neck, only that the pendant was of a majestic phoenix. It shone a deep green, for Tala was at peace.

"Kai, are you sure…?" Tala glanced at the slate haired teen in his arms.

"…Let the things in the past stay in the past, Tala… I'm tired of it all…" Kai replied wearily, laying his head down on Tala's shoulder. Tala smiled and ruffled Kai's hair affectionately. Tala sang a lullaby to Kai, one that they made together.

"If only, if only, the moon speaks no reply;

Reflecting the sun and all that's gone by.

Be strong my weary wolf, turn around boldly.

Fly high, my baby bird,

My angel, my only."

Kai nuzzled his head into the hollow of Tala's neck, a smile forming on his face. A shooting star flew in the starry night sky, and the two Russians clasped their hands together and made a wish. Kai, like in the past, wished for Tala to have courage, for Tala was a crying little boy when they first met. Tala, like in the past, wished for Kai to be happy and reassured, for the first time they met, Kai's eyes held such sorrow and suspicion that everyone would hurt him.

The two shared a smile, falling asleep together under the beautiful moonlit night. They woke up in the morning in bliss, seeing the other beside each other. How they felt was indescribable. It was not love of _that kind_ , but there was the need of being near each other, the contentment of knowing the other was there, knowing that the DID NOT hate each other, knowing that everything was okay.

"You mean the world to me, Kai…" Tala whispered. The protectiveness he felt for the younger boy made him able to do everything. Kai smiled a bright and cheerful smile, innocence shining bright in his eyes, innocence that was hidden so deep within him that not even biovolt could destroy. Tala loved those crimson eyes…

"I love you, Tala," Kai chirped. Then sadly, he got off Tala. "I gotta go back to the dojo, like how you need to go back to the blitzkrieg boys…" Tala planted a soft kiss on Kai's forehead. "Well, off you go then, little phoenix," Tala grinned. They headed off in different directions, turning back every few seconds, not wanting to leave.

Kai sulked in the house. But if you asked, he would deny and said he was scowling. "Kinomiya, get off your lazy ass and go do housework. IT'S YOUR HOUSE. Hilary, I don't care what kind of delicate pretty hands you have, go do something. Kenny, I don't care if you're short. Hiro, you're the oldest one here, go put yourself to use!"

Then he promptly went to take care of Max, ignoring their angered protests. "You okay, Maxie?" Kai asked gently. Max laughed lightly. "I'm almost back to full health! Man, I heard how you shouted at them out there. I wish I could see their faces."

Then suddenly, the front door burst open, and someone shouted frantically, "Where is my Kai?!" Kai would recognize that voice anywhere… he jumped up and rushed to the living room, where everyone stood agape in shock. In the door way stood _pikachu_…or rather, someone in pikachu suit.

Kai laughed merrily and glomped the huge pikachu. "Pikachu, you came!" Hilary fainted and fell to the floor with a loud thud. Many people rubbed their eyes. There was their proud captain, hugging a pikachu. A pikachu goddammit!

"Pikapi… pikachu…?" Pikachu said cutely, tilting his head to the side. Kai laughed and whacked its head. "Show's over, Tala. I didn't really think you would…" Kai laughed hysterically.

You see… at the last tournament…

*flashback* (in the locker room)

"I'll grow taller Kai! Just you wait!" Ian huffed angrily.

"Suuurree," Kai humored him, for a while. "And the chances of that are as big as Tala showing up at Tyson's house dressed like pikachu…"

"…What makes you so sure I wouldn't, Kai?" Tala's voice cut in, smirking. Kai just glanced at him blandly. "I'd like to see that…and if you're going to do it, you might as well go body slam Tyson"

*end flashback*

"PIKACHUUUU!!!" Tala jumped on top of Tyson with a body slam, causing Kai to laugh even louder. "Come back, pikachu, come back!" Tala got off Tyson and begun to maniacally body slam random people. "My pikachu's such a bad boy!"

Afterwards, Tala simply collapsed on the floor, unmoving. Kai worriedly knelt beside him, poking him with a stick. Tala rolled over, onto Kai, effectively covering him up until he couldn't be seen anymore.

"You EVIL pokemon, don't eat Kai!!!!!" Tyson roared, and jumped onto pikachu. "He was a good captain…" Max sniffed, before jumping onto Tyson. Ray shrugged at this weird situation and leapt on top of the pile. Lastly, Kenny climbed on top and sat there. There was silence for a while, then…

"EVERYONE GET THE FUCK OFF ME!!" …guess who said that? It was Kai. Everyone got off hurriedly, then Kai kicked Tala off him. Kai took Tyson's hat and put it backwards. "Is that the way to treat your pokemon trainer, pikachu? Get back into a pokeball!!!"

"Hmph. You're no fun, Ash _ketchup,"_ Pikachu took off its head, only to show Tala, but with his red hair down. It was messy, and Tala was sweating. "Phew. That thing was warm…And Tyson is really heavy…"

"I'm not fat!! This is just…" Tyson pinched him arm. "This is just puppy fat!"

"You ate puppies, Kinomiya?" Kai smirked. "And got their fat in you?" He put the hat backwards on Tyson's head. Tyson turned it angrily. "Fat is fat, Kinomiya," Tala joined in. "No matter what animal it's from. But duuude, why innocent little puppies?"

"I DID NOT EAT PUPPIES!" Tyson screamed. Many people held their ears.

"… … … I like puppies," Tala said softly, grinning. "But I don't eat them, unlike someone over here…"

"I hope you don't eat kitties Tyson. I like kitties. Run, Ray! Your life might be in danger!!!" Kai pretended to be horrified. "You're a neko-jin aren't you?"

"SHUT UP!! I DON'T EAT LITTLE ANIMALS!"

"…explain the chicken you ate this morning," Ray chuckled, joining in the fun.

"Holy crap. And I dressed up as a pikachu. Am I suicidal? He might have eaten me!" Tala shrieked, held a hand to his forehead, and mock fainted.

"ARGH!" Tyson's face was now beet red, and no one attempted to help him.

"…I think I passed my fever on to Tyson. His face is so red," Max added in, looking better than he had a few days ago.

"I HATE YOU ALL!" Tyson screamed. Kai put the pikachu head on Kenny. "Go follow your trainer, little pikachu. He wears the symbol of Ash Ketchum." Kenny tottered over to Tyson. Tyson glared at all of them before leaving the house, slamming the door.

Full blown laughter erupted throughout the house. 

XP: sooo how was it? ): is it bad? Lol anyway please review so I can change stuff if it's too bad… you can also give me tips… ideas… … … yup. That's about it.


	2. Yaay! Snow!

XP: Yaay snow. So I decided to go on the random humor road. Go read Go read!!!

The sight was quite comical really. Tala's head was above tons and tons of futons, blankets and pillow. He was lying on some of them , while some of them covered his body. And, well, there was this huge bulge at his stomach, where Kai was. Well, it was quite cold that day, but now Tala was warm inside out.

"Pregnant, Tala?" Ray asked, laughing. Tala glared at him half-heartedly. He was currently staying at Tyson's dojo, even though Tyson disagreed, calling him the son of satan. Where Tala retorted that he wasn't the one eating puppies. Which caused Tyson to blow up, again.

Kai's fluffy head popped up from below the blankets. "Mommy! What a wonderful world you've brought me to!" He said sarcastically. He hugged Tala, his 'mother', and dove back into the covers, purring contentedly.

"That was the fastest birth ever," Max commented. "Who's the father, Tala?"

"…The father would be…Ray," Tala grinned. "Because he raped me."

"When did I ever rape you?!" Ray shouted out in surprise. That sentence was totally random. Kai moved from his spot to lie beside Tala, curious to where this conversation will lead to.

"Hm… lets see… You rape me every single day. How could you?! I already have a husband! And another child!" Tala cried out. "Oh, woe is me!" He dramatically held a hand to his forehead and begun to cry very fakely.

"How could you, Ray?!" Kai accused. "… A husband and a child, Tala? …What the heck?" Ray merely shook his head, knowing he would lose to Tala. "So, who's this husband and child of yours?

"…My husband is…Bryan." At this Kai stifled a laugh. "And my child is… Spencer."

"Dude! Spencer is bigger than any of you!" Tyson pointed out.

"I know," Tala sniffed. "I'm so proud of him. My baby girl's all grown up."

"Girl? Forget it, let's end this random conversation here." Ray sighed. Kai laughed and ducked under the covers once more. "…Are you that cold, Kai?" Kai's head popped back up, an impish grin on his face. "I'm cold, father Ray, give me a hug and warm my heart up…"

"Jesus…" Ray sighed.

"Yes?" Tala replied simply. Ray stared at him. Tala stared back. "You're not Jesus, Tala."

"You're not Christian, Ray. You're the father of my baby boy."

"…Can we stop this right now? It's getting old," Ray asked in exasperation. "I dug my own grave by saying you were pregnant."

"NOOO PAPA! Don't die!!!!" Kai shouted dramatically under the covers, his voice becoming muffled.

"Okay, who are you and where did our cold anti-social Kai go?" Hilary asked.

"I do not belong to you all…" Kai whined. It was inaudible due to the many layers of cloth. Tala glanced around boredly, tired of this game. That's when he saw the white flakes. Noo, not dandruff. SNOW!

Tala used his leg to nudge Kai. Kai got out and blinked at him curiously. "LOOK! FREE ICE-CREAM!!!!"

"OMG! GIGANTIC DANDRUFF COMING TO INVADE THE WORLD!!!" Kai freaked out. "…Baka, I know it's snow. And then?"

"What did you call me? Makan? Makan in malay is eat. Therefore… LET'S GO EAT FREE ICE-CREAM!" Tala jumped out of the blankets, and ran out of the door. "Hurry Kai!!!" They weren't wearing sweaters or mittens. Kai had a scarf, as usual. They were both wearing pants, and long sleeved shirts, but that wasn't enough layers to be in the snow!

"…Baka," Kai laughed softly, going outside to join his red haired friend. He was hit by an icy snowball. "OMG! Tala, you hit me with a gigantic ball of dandruff?"

"It's ice cream!"

"Dandruff!"

"Ice cream!"

"Dandruff!"

"Ice cream!"

"Dandruff!"

"Ice-"

"SHUT UP! IT'S SNOW!" Ray hollered from the warm and cozy house. Both Russians pouted and stuck their tongue out at him. "Hey Kai…"

"Hmm?"

"Let's go catch snow on our tongues!" Tala tilted his head back and tried vainly to catch some flurries. Kai mimicked his movements and they ran around like that, until Kai caught one. "I got it, Tala!" And then, they slammed into each other, for they didn't watch where they were going.

They fell heavily onto the snow, causing some snow to fly up and land on Tala's lips. "I caught them too Kai! They came to me, they love me! After all, who doesn't love Tala Ivanov?"

"I can think of a few people," Kai laughed. He held Tala's hand and started making a snow angel. Tala saw what he was doing and made one too. "Instead of twins joined at the hip we're joined at wings."

Then Kai stuffed snow down Tala's shirt and ran off. "Get your cute Russian ass back here Hiwatari!" Tala picked up random snow balls and shot them all at Kai, and they all missed.

"Nuh-uh, come get me if you want me," Kai turned around and winked, then ran even faster, causing Tala to frown.

"Come back here Hiwatari. I'm cold… Let's build a man made of ice cream! ICE-CREAM MAN!!!!" Kai walked back to Tala, walking very carefully, wondering if this was a trick. "You mean dandruff man? Ewww…"

Kai wrapped his scarf around the both of them, causing Tala to smile and catch him off guard, kissing his cheek. Kai looked at Tala in amusement before shaking his head, starting to make their snowman. Or ice cream and dandruff man.

They made a few in suggestive positions. A few snowman were lying on top of each other, and some had snow cocks. "Ewwww… sick…" Kai laughed. "So what now, Tala?"

"We… roll around in the snow!" Tala tackled Kai to the ground, and made them roll. "Stop Tala! Stop!!!" They collected snow on their roll, causing them to become a super huge snowball. Then, the snowball gained speed and crashed onto the house, freeing the two dizzy Russians. And due to the impact, snow fell down from the roof onto their heads, making their hair white.

"OMG, you have dandruff on your hair, Tala!"

"OMG, you have ice cream on you head, Kai! … yum. Come here and let me eat you, will ya?"

"Never! For eternity and beyond!" Kai ran back into the house, his hair dripping melted snow. Tala chased after him, and they ran around the house. The rest of the bladebreakers, plus Hilary, Hiro and Grandpa, watched them in amusement, wondering how two normally stoic and cold teens could be such playful kids.

"Daddy! Mommy's trying to eat my hair!" Kai ducked behind Ray, hiding. "Help me, Daddy!"

"Get away from the rapist, Kai! GET AWAY!!!" Tala shrieked, and Kai jumped into Tala's arms, safe away from Ray. Then both of them laughed, and went to make and drink hot chocolate together. Kai knew that Tala wanted more marshmallows than chocolate, Tala knew Kai wanted more chocolate than marshmallows, and they made it for each other. Then they went back under their huge pile of blankets, Kai's head lying contentedly on Tala's shoulder.

After a while, Kai dozed off, with Tala playing with his hair. Tala kissed the top of Kai' head lovingly, and that was how they stayed for the rest of the evening. Then Kai's neck got cramped and Tala massaged it for him.

XP: End of chapter two. So how is it??? D: Hope it's still as funny. But their friendship is quite sweet. (: Review! Review! To get more chapters of Kai and Tala! … Maybe I'll only update if I get 10 reviews?


	3. christmas?

XP: Thank you, all my reviewers. *sniff* I love you. …It's funny how one thing leads to another. And I fear this is not as funny ): Please support me, people. And you can tell me scenes that you want of Kai and Tala. I'll see if they're usable (: READ ON!!

* * *

Kai clung weakly to Tala's sleeve. "Don't leave me, Tala. Don't leave me like they all did…" Kai apparently had a nightmare about his past. His eyes radiated that vulnerable need and fear which Tala disliked to see. Tala sat beside Kai and held him soothingly, patting his back.

"I won't leave, Kai… I won't leave… one of those days, huh?" Tala asked. The rare few days where Kai had that particular nightmare. The few days that made him cling to Tala for his dear life.

"What, is Kai PMSing?" Tyson asked out of the blue, very insensitively.

"…Tala. Kill him." Kai commanded softly, hiding his head in Tala's chest. Tala kissed his head then sent wolborg after Tyson's ass. Then Tala began to hum a Christmas tune.

"Jingle presents, beat the peasants,

Reindeer tastes like jam…

Beat the elves and gorge your self

And ambush Santa's van!"

Kai laughed weakly and continued to stick to Tala like a scared child. Which he was, currently. Tala merely sighed. "Come on, Kai. Breakfast is ready…" He scooped Kai up into his arms, bridal style and brought him to the kitchen.

"You guys married?" Max joked. Tala sent him a wink and replied, "Noo, I have a husband named Bryan, remember? So stop trying to seduce me, Max. It won't work… Kai's my PRECIOUS BABY! How could you think otherwise? He's the child of me and Ray! The littler brother of Spencer!!!"

"Dude, get over that already will you?" Ray sighed.

Tala sauntered over and sat in his seat, smiling widely at Ray. Kai sat on his lap, still having that adorable wide eyed look. He was so cute! Then his eyes fluttered close and he leaned even closer to Tala, snuggling. "Say aah, my baby."

"Aah," Kai opened his mouth obediently and let Tala put a piece of toast in his mouth. The piece of toast hung on his mouth as he chewed, chewed and chewed his way through it. He playfully nibbled Tala's fingers, causing Tala to draw his hand back. They eyes met, playful crimson and amused ice blue. "Feeling better Kai?" Kai nodded.

"Get a room," Hiro said off-handedly.

Kai blinked once, twice…then… "You're telling me to fuck with my own son? WHAT KIND OF A MONSTER ARE YOU!!! … … … want to have a threesome with us?" Tala asked very seriously. Kai laughed.

"Shall we do it in his room, then?" Kai purred. Hiro looked very sick for a moment. Then both Tala and Kai burst out laughing. "Merry Christmas!"

"OMG, what gifts should I give my baby boy?" Tala wondered out loud.

"All I need is your looovvveeee," Kai smiled. "You're the best thing god ever gave me, if there is a god out there."

"Awww you're so sweet…." Tala cooed. "…quite literally. HAS ANYONE TASTED KAI?! HE TASTES SO ADDICTIVE! I MUST HAVE MORE!!!" Tala licked Kai's cheek, causing Kai to laugh. "Ewww, Tala, don't slobber all over me…" Even though Tala licked at the blue shark fins, they didn't fade.

"Hey Kai, are your shark fins permanent?" Kenny questioned curiously. Both Tala and Kai stopped doing everything immediately, and both stared at him. Stared at him. Creepily. Kenny shrunk into himself.

Tala touched the other cheek of Kai, tracing his fingers over the pale, smooth skin. "They're tattoos, Kenny… put there quite unwillingly." Tala answered for Kai. Kai remained silent for a while, before taking a marker on the table that has been used for making decorations.

He drew similar looking fins on Tala's face, and smiled. Tala, however, was completely horrified. "My face… MY BEAUTIFUL FACE!!!" Tala looked down at the marker. Permanent… and the beyblade teams were all coming here tonight for a Christmas party. Kai laughed and kissed one of the shark fins. "My Tala looks so hott."

…Oh well. For Kai.

Anyway, tonight was a costume party. Tala was wearing the pikachu suit Kai loved, to much persuading on Kai's part. In return Kai had to wear an ash ketchum costume. Because he refused to wear the female sailor uniform of Sailor Moon, causing Tala to be very, very sad.

"…Kai."

"…Yea?"

"If you don't wear the costume… I'll throw Dranzer out of the window!!!!" Tala shouted hysterically.

"Holy mother fucker… Don't do it, Tala! PUT. THE. BIRDY. DOWN. Relax… deep breaths…" Kai breathed in and out deeply, Tala followed in a very exaggerated manner.

"…I'm jealous of Dranzer, Kai. You love this fire birdy more than me," Tala fake sobs. "I'm gonna jump out of this window and kill myself!"

"…Go ahead. You'll land in snow." Kai shrugs.

"…Who knows if there's a huge rock under that pile of ice? I won't die pretty." Tala whines.

Kai sighed. "Get away from the window, Tala… I'll… I'll wear the fucking costume."

"Yaay! Whee! Woohoo! Yahoo!" Tala swung his arms and legs wildly about… and he lost his balance and fell out of the window. Kai sweatdropped heavily.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Tala fell into the snow. The first beyblade team was there. The All-starz. "…H-Help me… Kai's…Kai's trying to kill me…" Tala lied, and pretended to faint.

"WHAT?!" were the enraged cries of the All-starz. "HOW COULD HE?!" Judy and Emily remained with Tala, trying to rub away the shark fins. "I can't rub them away… They're tattoos? What did Kai do to him?"

"TALA!" Kai leapt smoothly out of the window, his feet landing on Michael's face. Not bothering to apologize, he continued running towards Tala, but Rick and Eddy blocked his path. "You're not getting near Tala, Hiwatari. Stop hurting people!"

"…Huh?" Kai tilted his head to the side cutely. Then, he remembered who he CAN be. "Hn, fuck off. It's none of your business." He said coldly, glaring at them, daring them to stop him.

"Why you cocky bastard…" Rick threw a punch a him, and Kai caught his fist easily. Then Rick tried to kick Kai's side, and Kai caught his leg with his other arm. Kai twisted his arm and leg mercilessly, before flinging him away. Kai looked at Eddy in a questioning manner. Eddy backed away from Kai, whom he called 'Red eyed demon'.

Tala was not yet done pretending dead, so he lay still, motionless. "…Tala?" His eyes shone with concern and fear. "DON'T DIE TALA! DON'T LEAVE ME! DON'T… disappear…" Kai hugged Tala's stiff body to his. His small shoulders shook terribly as he cried. As his back was facing everyone, no one knew how Kai's face was like.

Kai howled at the sky like a wolf, then Tala joined him. "…So, what we howling for, Kai?"

"… … … You're not dead?" Kai looked at him in bewilderment. "… … YOU LIED TO ME! DIE!!!!" Kai shoved snow onto Tala's face, and started burying him.

Tala coughed and spluttered and tried to say something, but Kai wouldn't let him. It took all of the All-starz to pull him away. "Don't touch me, bitches! No one touches Kai Hiwatari!"

Judy freed Tala, who grinned at Kai weakly. "Untouchable, eh, Kai? But I touch you every single day…" …You have no idea how wrong it sounded. Not helping things, Kai pretended to be embarrassed. "Tala! Don't tell them!"

"Soo," Emily started, "It was a lover's quarrel?" Tala smirked and leaned in so close to Kai, their lips almost touched. "What makes you think so, computer nerd that's _so _destined to be Kenny's wife?" Kai chuckled.

"…You guys are so intimate that it's obvious… I should write it on my blog and let the whole world know," Emily stated, pushing up the glasses on her nose. At that Kai broke the tiny distance they had, pressing his soft lips to Tala's for a split second, before running off, laughing and shouting that Tala should clean up his own mess.

Emily had taken a picture, and was uploading it on her blog. "NO!!! WHAT WILL MY HUSBAND THINK?!" Tala shrieked and lunged at the laptop. He savagely broke the laptop into two, pulling out all the wires and throwing them all around the place.

"MY PRECIOUS LAPY!" Emily clawed at Tala's face, anger making her unable to think. Tala bit her hand hard, growling like an animal. "Don't harm my super charming face! Bryan, my hubbie, will be angry! And my children, Spencer and Kai will cry! …And Ray would kill you for making me not as rape worthy!"

Everyone's face was like 'what the fuck?' and then Tala continued, "And Max wouldn't seduce me anymore! And Tyson wouldn't have sick fantasies of me anymore! And then… and then… hm… Hiro wouldn't go into a threesome with me and Kai anymore!!!"

"…You can go plastic surgery," Michael commented.

"Yeah… I always wondered what it was like to fuck a doctor…" Tala said dreamily, convincing everyone that he was nuts. Then the White tigers arrived, all glaring at Tala, and then at Kai, who was perched on the window, looking down at all of them.

"Christmas definitely wouldn't be good due to these two sick, evil bit-beast stealing bastards," Mariah muttered under her breath. Lee was about to tell Mariah to not be so mean, when Tala shouted to them, "Yo, pink haired bitch, a.k.a pink tiger!!! Oh, and hi to the rest of your hideous freaks. Sigh… Ray was right quitting your team. You're all so ugly…"

Kai's musical laughter came down from the window, causing Tala to brighten up. "Kaaaiiiii, get your sexy ass back here… I need my daily dose of Kaaaaiiii…" Kai shook his head, laughing. "You want me? Come get me," Kai said seductively before disappearing from their view, his scarf fluttering.

"Is that a challenge? Woo hoo! The wolf is coming to steal the chicken!!!" Tala threw his fist into the air then ran into the house.

"I'M NOT A CHICKEN, YOU PUPPY! Don't call me chicken or Tyson will eat me!"

"AND YOU CALL ME PUPPY? WHEN PUPPIES ARE TYSON'S STAPLE FOOD?"

And…the retorts of indignation from the white tigers weren't heard.

* * *

XP: Yaay Christmas. Let me tell you something. I've not celebrated Christmas is my pathetic 13 year old life. And I have never seen, let alone touch, snow before. T-T *cries* IT'S… IT'S SO SAADDD!!!! oh and i found a way to make lines (:

…oh, and please review (:


	4. cosplaying!

XP: Hi ppl, hahas. Long time no update. So this chapter is slightly longer to make up for it. It's coz my bastard of a father who kept on hitting me and making me depressed. Lol. T-T I love my reviewers. *Hugs* Though I bet you'd rather Tala and Kai hug you. Go on, Tala and Kai!

Kai: I'd only hug someone in a pikachu suit.

Tala: I'll only hug ppl who look 100% like Kai.

XP: Awww too bad…. Read on!

* * *

"… My name is Kai."

"PLEASEEEE SAY IT…PLEASEEE…" Tala used his puppy dog eyes on Kai.

"My name is Kai, the magical bitch!"

"Magical girl, Kai, that will save the worlddddd… And you gotta use a cute girly voice! The one you use on me when you want something!" Tala whined, throwing his arms about in the air.

Kai huffed, crossing his arms. "Please Kai…for meeeee?" Tala's watery eyes met with reluctant crimson orbs. "I…I… fine!" Kai sighed, and got onto position. He put his right hand on his chest. "My name… is Kai!" He twirled one round and winked, hand forming 'V' beside his face. "I'm the magical girl that will save the world!"

Kai was wearing this super cute girl uniform like thing. …Which included a very short skirt. Kai tugged at it uncomfortably. "…Taaalaaaa…must I….?

"YOU MUST KAI! FOR THE SAKE OF THIS WORLD!" Tala broke off Kai's question. Kai's hair was dyed black, with red highlights coz Tala said red is hott. He had hair extensions so it would be longer. Kai pouted. His lips were covered in a layer of berry pink lip gloss, and his cheeks were powdered over with a blusher.

"I haaaate you Talaaaaaa…." Kai sniffed. His voice was a few notes higher than his original voice.

"… I LOVE YOUUUU

YOU LOVE MEEEEE

WE'RE A HAPPY FAMILY…

WITH A GREAT BIG HUG AND A KISS FROM ME TO YOU

WON'T YOU SAY YOU LOVE ME TOOOOOO"

Tala sang loudly. "…NO." Kai replied.

"Awwwww why?" Tala put on the pikachu suit. "I'm a cute little pikachu…" Kai blushed at the very cute looking pikachu and couldn't help but hug it. "Damn you, Tala. Damn you for being so fluffy and huggable and cute."

Tala grinned inside the costume. "Soooo my sexy little Kai, are you prepared to go out?" Kai blushed a deep shade of red and tugged again at his skirt. "M-M-Must I?" Awww he was so cute… The pikachu nodded. And Kai's heart couldn't win the fight against pikachu. 'Darn all the cute pokemon,' Kai thought to himself.

Tala and Kai blended into the crowd easily… before…

"Baby, somebody better call God, cuz he's missing an angel!" Enrique came over and spoke to Kai. He was wearing an Egyptian costume. Kai lilted his head to the side cutely, blinking his large crimson eyes. "Aaaannnddd how would you know if God's missing an angel? And you have God's number?"

"Hello, I'm a thief, and I'm here to steal your heart," Michael commented. Kai raised one eyebrow. "I never knew you were a thief… AND WTF YOU GONNA STEAL MY HEART? Someone call the police… They should have the police's number instead of god's."

"If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together," Even Crusher came.

"Ewww baldy, get away from me… you probably have some disease or something…and why the hell would you do that? I mean like, ABCDEFGH….JKLMNOPQRST…UI…VWXYZ? That's so weird!" Kai waved his hand at them, trying to dismiss them.

Still, they kept on trying… "Was you father an alien? Because there's nothing else like you on Earth!"

"No, but my Grandfather was a bitch. And yes, I'm one of a kind." Kai replied boredly. Coz he's Kai Hiwatari.

"Your legs must be tired because you've been running through my mind all night."

"…I didn't run anywhere, you must be goddamn delusional…" Kai sighed.

"Baby, if you were words on a page, you'd be what they call FINE PRINT!"

"…Whatever floats your little boat. …Excuse me please," Kai stood up. Kai pulled the pikachu with him. He hissed in Tala's ear, "Goddamn you, Tala, for making wear a skirt and making me into a girl."

"…Pika pika!" Kai was about to hit the pikachu, fist in midair, when Tala just made that… super… cute… voice… Kai lowered his fist in defeat, pouting. …Wait a minute. If Crusher was here then… Team BEGA was here!!! Kai swore under his breath.

And there was Brooklyn, smiling that annoying hypocritical smile that was so fake. He was wearing a vampire costume. "It's only his bitbeast that makes him evil, Kai…he's not that bad a person…Pikapi!" Kai looked at Tala for a very long time before agreeing. Tala must've wanted Brooklyn to join them or something. Something about red heads being hot… though Brookyln's hair was more of orange.

Ming Ming was wearing an angel outfit, predictably. "Hey people!" She went on the mini stage and grabbed the microphone. "Let me give you a song!" She cried out in that annoying high pitched voice of hers. Kenny's eyes turned to hearts immediately. Kai and Tala winced when she started singing.

"Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the WAAAAYYYYYYYY

Oh how fun! It is to ride!!! A-"

"FOR THE LOVE OF GOD WILL SOMEONE SHUT HER UP?!" Ian cried. The blitzkrieg boys just arrived. Tala brightened considerable, obvious even though in his Pikachu suit. "PIKA!!! PIKAPI PIKACHU!!!!" He jumped around happily, his tail swinging left and right. Tala pulled Kai over to Bryan. Bryan glared at Kai with hatred, and Kai shuffled his felt uncomfortably. "What's Hiwatari doing here?"

"Aw, come on, Bry, forgive Kai already, it's not his fault that I was raped and he was born…" Tala started, hiding a grin behind pikachu.

"…What the fuck are you talking about?" Bryan questioned, then flinched and covered his ears when Ming Ming started singing again. "Okay! Whatever! Just shut her up! I'll do anything to make her shut up!"

Tala and Kai shrugged and together they walked up the stage, grabbing the microphone from Ming Ming's hands, ignoring her retorts. Bryan helped push her off the stage, with her shrieking her head off. "We're taking over this stage," Kai simply said. "Pikachuuu…"

Ian helped to put on a CD, a karaoke version of Pokazhi mne lyubov by Tatu. ( T = Tala, K = Kai, Tgt = Together.) They held the microphone between them, Kai's arms around Tala's. No one knew their true identity… except a few people.

**T**: Allo,  
**K**: Allo,  
**T**: Vidish´ veter?  
**K**: Nu I chto?  
**T**: Posmotri v okno,  
**K**: Nu I chto?  
**T**: A vchera bylo solntse,  
**K**: Nu I chto?  
**T**: Zachem ty vse vremya govorish´ odno I tozhe?  
**K**: A ya avtootvetchik.

**T**: Vzyat´ I uspokoit isya,  
Zoloto Molchanie,  
Radio bessonitsa,  
Stantsiya proschanie.

**K**: to komu dostanetsya,  
Vypadet monetkami?  
Kto komu ostanets´ya  
Nervami, tabletkami?

**T**:Za nochnymi oknami  
Zakrichit, slomaetsya,  
Eto ne schitaetsya, eto ne schitaetsya.

**K**:Vernaya, nevernaya,  
Tikhaya, pechal´naya.  
Ya tvoya ne pervaya,  
Ty moya sluchainaya.

**Tgt**: Pokazhi, pokazhi, pokazhi, pokazhi,  
Pokazhi, pokazhi, mne lyubov´.  
Pokazhi pokazhi, pokazhi, pokazhi.  
Pochemu, pochemu ya s toboi.  
Pokazhi, pokazhi, pokazhi, pokazhi,  
Pokazhi, pokazhi, mne lyubov´.  
Pokazhi, pokazhi, pokazhi, pokazhi.  
Pochemu, pochemu, ya s toboi.

**T**: Kazhetsya, okazhetsya  
Prosche ne znokomit isya.  
Kto iz nas otkazhetsya  
Vzyat´ I uspikoit isya?

**K**: Devochki kak devochki,  
A potom - lunatiki,  
Nomera I strelochki  
Shokoladki, fantiki.

**T**: Spryachetsya, rasplachetsya,  
Skazhet, ispugaetsya.  
Eto ne schitaetsya, eto ne schitaetsya.

**K**:Vernaya, nevervaya,  
Tikhaya, pechal´naya.  
Ya tvoya ne pervaya,  
Ty moya sluchainaya.

**Tgt**: Pokazhi, pokazhi, pokazhi, pokazhi,  
Pokazhi, pokazhi, mne lyubov´.  
Pokazhi pokazhi, pokazhi, pokazhi.  
Pochemu, pochemu ya s toboi.  
Pokazhi, pokazhi, pokazhi, pokazhi,  
Pokazhi, pokazhi, mne lyubov´.  
Pokazhi, pokazhi, pokazhi, pokazhi.  
Pokazhi, mne lyubov´.....

They sang very passionately, their voices a few notes higher than their usual voice, convincing everyone they were girls. They sung in Russian, so no one knew what they just sang. They might as well have been singing vulgarities. Everyone cheered for them, and the two shared a smile.

"She's so beautiful! … Will you marry me?" Enrique knelt on the floor. Kai stared at him. Stared hard. Then bluntly, he replied, "No, you're not to my taste. I prefer… people with red hair." He looked at the pikachu very meaningfully.

Then, Michael came up, "Then will you marry me, beautiful goddess?"

Bryan, Spencer and Ian all glared hard at him, and he shriveled up. "Is she… related to you all?"

"I'm… Tala and Ray's child," Kai grinned. "Ray raped Tala… my father should have been Bryan… Spencer's my older sister!!"

"…That's fucked up."

Kai didn't reply. Instead, he shouted, "WHO THE FUCK TOUCHED MY ASS! NO ONE TOUCH'S KAI HIWATARI'S ASS!" Silence filled the room. Then… "OMG THAT WAS KAI?!?!!?!?!?!"

"No shit, Sherlock. My ass belongs to the greatest being on earth, which is, ME!" Kai apparently has been affected by Tala's ego…

"No, it's me, Kai-chan, meeee," Tala said underneath the pikachu suit. Everyone stared at him. "…Pika pika, I'm a cute little Pikachu…" And then, all of a sudden, Brooklyn glomped him.

"Pikachus are so cuteeeee," Brooklyn said dreamily, a lazy smile on his face. And boy, does he hug tight. Tala squirmed in his grip, and Kai didn't offer any help. His cover was blown, and the fun was over. It was fun watching boys trip over him though. "Bye Tala, get out of your own messes."

"Tala?! But… their voices… so heavenly…"

"Gender doesn't matter in love, does it?" Max said unhelpfully. …Almost all the boys surrounded Tala… And they all stared at him so creepily… "KAI!!!! HELP ME, GODDAMNIT!"

"Kai, magical girl, to rescue!" Kai said sarcastically, before sliding down the railing of the stairs on a skateboard. His skirt fluttered, and he flashed everyone in the room his…panties. Kai grabbed Tala, who was still in the pikachu suit, Brooklyn hanging on him.

They went into the basement, with Kai stopping abruptly. Tala flew off the skateboard. "Owww Kai, you suck at that…" Kai locked the door and then slopped down beside Tala, panting. "…Why is… Brook here?" Kai asked.

"Oh how sweet, you gave him a nickname," Tala cooed. Kai smacked him, saying angrily, "Damn you, electric rat. I shouldn't have saved you!" Brooklyn kept on staring at Tala, drooling. And drooling. And drooling.

"…Ya think he eats little animals like Tyson?" Kai asked casually.

"… … … … … HOLY FUCK SHIT GET ME OUTTA HERE!" Tala shrieked, banging his head on the door, knocking the lock and door knob off. Aaaannddd now they were stuck in the basement.

"TAL YOU BLOODY IDIOT!"

"SHUT UP! I DON'T SEE YOU HELPING! … you gave me a nickname? Awww you'se so sweet, giving me a term of endearment… Brrrr it's a little cold in here…" Tala wrapped his arms around himself.

"Ya think?" Kai rolled his eyes, wrapping his slim arms around his creamy white thighs. He moved closer to Tala, seeking warmth. Tala moved his arms smoothly around Kai, enveloping him in warmth. It was a simple gesture, like they had done it many times before.

"…Please don't eat me, Brooky…" Tala pleaded.

"…Pikachu… Hehe…Pikachu…" Brooklyn said creepily, darkness surrounding him.

… Kai opened the tiny metal window in the basement and crawled out, and Tala's suit was too fat to get out. Tala stripped with deliberate slowness, causing Kai to roll his eyes again. "Hurry up, will you?" Tala finally came out. Then they climbed the pipe leading to their room and sneaked in, and then they changed into their normal clothes.

"Christmas is tiring," Kai said, collapsing on the bed.

"Agreed," Tala collapsed on the floor, missing the bed. His head hit the ground with a loud thud.

"TALA!"

...and Brooklyn was left in the basement T-T

* * *

XP: Please review, ppl! …Hope the humor's still there, coz I've been verrryyyy depressed lately T-T review and cheer me up.. you're what's keeping me going…


	5. The christmasy spirit!

XP: Long time no update T-T Aand someone stole the pikachu suit.

Kai: *hugs ImmortalKiky because she has the pikachu suit*

Tala: *pouts jealously*

* * *

Tala's head was bandaged up. He was in a deep sleep, and Kai had placed Tala's hands together on his chest, holding a bunch of flowers. It looked like he was dead. "…Should I give him CPR…?" Kai wondered out loud. He looked at Tala indecisively. It felt wrong kissing a sleeping person…

Kai tucked a stray strand of hair behind his ear, then leant down. His lips touched Tala's then… "HAHA! TRICKED YOU!" Tala shouted.

Kai jumped back in surprise. Then he blinked. And blinked…then… "WTF TALA!"

"Awww you were so cute…" Tala playfully put his arm around Kai's shoulders and kissed his cheek. Kai pouted unhappily, crossing his arms. "Anyway, Tyson wants us to go out and join the party…" Tala nodded.

"Cheer up, Kai-chan," Tala intertwined their fingers. "It won't be so bad…"

"You kidding me? It was so embarrassing out there… And would it kill you to save your own ass?" Kai growled.

"MY ASS IS WORTH SAVING! I mean, look at it, so damn fucking hot…" Tala trailed off, staring at his butt. Then he stared at Kai's butt. "Your butt is freaking hot too…"

"Stop checking me out and let's go already!" Kai hissed. Tala pouted and grabbed the ends of Kai's scarf, tying them around his neck and grinning widely. Kai shook his head in exasperation, and a hint of affection before walking out, Tala following.

Kai's hair was still jet black with red highlights, silky like a waterfall. When they walked into the living room everyone paused and looked at them. "We're not part of a freak show, stop staring at us like we are," Kai said in annoyance. Crowds really weren't his thing. Tala patted his butt soothingly.

"…Tala Ivanov. It was you who touched my ass when we were still in costume…?" Kai glared at Tala. It was all set-up by Tala. Tala shrugged and Kai's glare intensified.

"Whaaaat? I was jealous of the boys that kept on trying to pick you upppp, you weren't paying attention to me!" Tala huffed. Kai sighed and rested his head on Tala's shoulder. Tala rested his head on Kai's head.

"…What Max said is right. GENDER DOESN'T MATTER! I LOVE YOU KAI!" Enrique knelt down in front of Kai. "Marry me!" As Kai's face was like WTF, someone threw a cushion at Enrique. It was Michael. "Hands off! Go back to your girlfriends you bastard!"

Kai face palmed and walked off, Tala tagging behind him loyally. "I don't understand why boys like Kai, Kai's a cold mean bastard…" Emily piped up, blocking Kai's path. She was apparently still angry about the laptop, as she glowered at Tala.

Tala snarled at her, looking like he was about to pounce. "Down boy, down." Kai said sternly. Tala looked at him and whimpered. "I said down." Tala sat down and pouted.

"…He's like a puppy, he's whimpering like one…" Emily turned up her nose as if looking down on Tala.

"I'm no puppy!" Tala gave an animalistic growl, and Emily blushed. Tala was so hot when he did that… Emily stuttered an apology and ran off, causing Tala and Kai to look at each other in confusion. "Kaaaaiiii can I stand now?"

"Stand up," Kai smirked. He ruffled Tala's hair when Tala got up, causing it to get out of its normal two-horned shapes. "Good boy," Kai cooed. "NOT THE HAIR!!!" Tala clutched at his head. "WHY DO YOU ALWAYS ATTACK MY HAIR, YOU SAVAGE?"

"But I like you with your hair down," Kai teased and walked away. "…Stupid Kai," Tala muttered childishly.

"You owe me explanations, Hiwatari," Bryan growled and pulled Kai away into a deserted hallway. He grabbed Kai by the collar and slammed him into the wall. "Why did you betray us!"

"Daddy! Don't hurt me!" Kai cried out.

"Darling, don't hurt my baby boy!" Tala speeded over and pushed Bryan off Kai. "He's still half your son, dear…"

"What the fuck!" Bryan screamed. "I still don't get what you're going on about!"

"Ooh, I think I get what's going on, Bry. You're the husband of Tala, Kai's the son of Tala and Ray, and Spencer's your daughter or something… HEY! What about me?" Ian clarified.

Kai looked at Ian and said, "Well, you'll get your role one way or another. Tala's creative that way." Ian nodded with an 'Oh'.

"…Why am I the daughter?" Spencer sweatdropped.

"You're… hm… you're… womanly…" Tala snickered, then threw his arms around Bryan. "Oh, my dear husband! How I missed you so!" Bryan pushed Tala off violently. "I refuse to take part in this..."

"You have no choice in the matter," Tala said darkly. "You cannot abandon your family! Are you inhumane? How will Spencer and Kai grow up without knowing their father?"

"…We're already grown up," Kai cut in innocently, but Tala ignored him. Tala looked at Bryan with hurt eyes. "How…How could you? Is it another woman? Another man? Did I do anything wrong?"

"Goddamnit, Tala, stop it!" Bryan was getting creeped out by Tala's behavior. "Why are you two acting like this anyway? What happened?"

Tala and Kai looked at each other, shrugged at the exact same time and exact angle, then turned their heads together to stare at Bryan. And so, the most fearsome bladers in the world are Kai and Tala. Not violent Bryan.

Bryan raised his hand to hit Tala, only to be stopped by Kai saying softly, "Wife beater."

Bryan turned his target to Kai, then Ian shouted, "Child abuser!"

Bryan turned to Ian, and Spencer said, "Bully! Pick on someone your own size!"

Bryan turned to Spencer, and Tala said, "You're not gonna beat a little girl are you? And she's your daughter!"

Tala, Kai, Ian and Spencer cornered Bryan, who could not hit anybody. Bryan looked seriously stressed out. "Deary, are you tired from your work? Let me massage your shoulders," Tala cooed, massaging Bryan's large shoulders. "I love these sturdy shoulders of his. Children, massage your father's legs!"

"Hai!" Kai chirped obediently, kneeling down to massage Bryan's right leg. Spencer knelt down to massage Bryan's left leg. They were surprisingly good at it. "When the fuck did I marry you, Tala Ivanov?"

"I know you have a fetish with my full name, but please, dear, NO VULGARITIES IN FRONT OF OUR CHILDREN!" Tala sudden pressed down hard on Bryan's shoulders and pushed a couple of areas which hurt a hell lot. Ian sniggered as Bryan howled in pain.

Tala winked at Kai, who smirked evilly and pressed some areas on Bryan's knees. "OW OW OW STOP IT YOU TWO!" Bryan pushed them off and ran away, screaming Russian vulgarities. Tala and Kai both fell onto the floor, staring at the ceiling.

Then Tala shouted, "COME BACK SOON, HONEY! HAVE A NICE DAY AT WORK!" Silence reigned for a while. But silence never did last long around the Blitzkrieg boys nowadays.

"Hoi, Tala…" Kai began. Tala turned to look at him and smiled sweetly, urging him to go on. "I feel like…we forgot something very important… or someone… it's…it's coming to me… something that starts with 'B'…" Kai's eyebrows were furrowed in deep thought.

"Pika pika pi…" Tala sang randomly.

"OMG BROOKLYN!" Kai finally remembered due to Tala. "WE LEFT HIM IN THE FREAKING BASEMENT! IT'S FREEZING DOWN THERE!" Tala gasped.

"Er… I'll go get him, Kai, if I don't come back in 30 minutes, I'm dead, don't come look for me." Tala said solemnly. Kai nodded in extreme seriousness. "Take care of yourself, mother."

"I will, my baby boy." Tala ran off in some random direction.

"TALA! OTHER SIDE! OTHER SIDE!" Tala changed direction. Kai looked at Tala's speeding back in worry. Then, he turned to Spencer and Ian, "Should we go back to the party?" Spencer and Ian agreed, and they went back.

The now gay boys crowded around Kai, still trying to flirt with him. "KAI-CHANNN!!!!" Kai's eyebrow twitched before he randomly grabbed Spencer and kissed him. "I've got a boyfriend. SO FUCK OFF!" Spencer had a dazed look to him.

"…Kai's an awesome kisser," Spencer commented before the gays took advantage of his spaced out state, pummeling him. Kai just ran off. Kai chewed on his lower lip, staring at the clock. Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock. When's Tala coming back? …He's definitely too dependant on Tala.

Kai sent Ian to look for Tala… then he heard screaming. He rushed over to the source of the sound… which was the basement, of course. Brooklyn was hugging the pikachu suit, drooling. "Brooklyn RAPED MEEEEEE" Tala cried out very dramatically.

"…Here it comes," Kai rolled his eyes.

"AND NOW IM PREGNANT AND I JUST GAVE BIRTH TO IAN!!!" Tala continued. Ian was…well, just happy to be given a role.

"Yaay…I love pikachus…" Brooklyn squeezed the suit even tighter.

"I like pikachus too," Kai confessed.

"They're so cute, aren't they?" Brooklyn gave a blissful smile. "All that yellow fur… their voices…"

"I understand," Kai nods. And then Brooklyn and Kai became good friends with similar interests.

**Meanwhile...**

"STOP HITTING ME MARIAH! IT'S NOT WHAT YOU THINK! We're not in a relationship anyway!" Ray screamed. Mariah kept on hitting his chest, calling him a unfaithful bastard.

"You raped Tala!" Mariah sobbed. "And to think I loved you, you perverted scum!" A crowd was gathering whispering among themselves.

"I never knew..."

"...He was the kind of guy?"

"Sicko..."

"It's not what you think!" Ray shouted desperately. "Ask Kai!"

Kai had just entered the room, seating innocuously at the corner with Brooklyn. He tilted his head to the side and blinked, a habit he had. Then, he smiled at Ray. "Hi Dad." And that caused Mariah to start hitting him again.

"BUT MARIAH! How can Kai be my son when we're the same age?!" Ray protested. Mariah stopped. "...You're right..."

"This is all Tala's fault..."Ray sighed. Tala suddenly jumped on Ray's back. "Talking bout lil' old me?!" Tala grinned as Ray fell flat on his face. Tala got off Ray and skipped over to Kai. "Merry Christmas Kai!" He handed Kai a present. Kai in turn, smiled and gave Tala a present. They sat together, and tore off the wrapping. Kai's eyes met with a snow globe, made of transparent crystals with snow inside. When he turned it, the snow fluttered about. It glowed blue when Kai touched it.

Tala's eyes met with...condoms. "...What the hell, Kai?"

"I figure, if everytime you get raped you get pregnant, and with the rate of you getting raped, you might as well give those to your rapists... Bring them around with you, kay?" Kai asked cheerfully.

"...Don't you want siblings Kai?" Tala asked, sniffing,

"...I have two half-siblings already."

"Oh well. MERRY CHRISTMAS PEOPLE!" Tala waved at everyone. "Let's end with a song!"

Since the last time they sang so well, everyone let them continue. If only they knew what they were going to sing now…

"Shut up and die, just shut up and die,

You're a little asshole so nobody gives a damn

Go back to yo' mama ya lil' cowards

And never let me see your faces AGAIN.

I smirk at the image of torturing you,

A gun, a knife, a simple steel bat.

The revolting scent of blood invades my senses

That stupid pleading look on your face AGAIN

Die, die, why don't cha?

Die, die, why don't cha?

Die, die, why don't cha?

DIE DIEEEEEEEEE!!!!"

"WOOOHOOO BLITZKRIEG BOYS STYLE YEAH!!!!" Tala and Kai screamed together. The blitzkrieg boys under the mini stage began whistling and cheering like crazy.

"ARE YOU READY TO ROCK?!" Kai screamed.

"ROCKER!!! ROCKER!!!" Tala moved his head about crazily.

"SOMEONE GET THOSE TWO OFF THE STAGE!!"

Tala and Kai were dragged off stage, until… both of them twisted out of the capturers' grips and kicked all of them down with a spinning jump kick. At the exact same timing, jumping at the exact same height.

"Can't catch us!" Kai smirked.

"We're too hott for you to handle!" Tala boasted. "Time for encore, yeah!!!"

"Bitch, just shut your mouth,

Shut your stupid mouth

And I don't care what you say

I don't give a damn.

What you do is bitch all day,

Damaging my ear,

Giving me a headache.

Bitch, just shut your mouth,

Shut your stupid mouth

You're not my momma'

Your words don't mean anything

What you do is bitch all day,

Your shrill voice ringing,

Glass going *sounds of glass breaking, Tala and Kai making sudden explosive movements*

*BAM*! I just wanna crack that head of yours in,

and if you don't want that to happen,

just shut your mouth!!!"

"IS THE BLITZKRIEG STYLE TOO HOTT FOR YOU TO HANDLE, BABY?" Tala shouted to the crowd. Kai laughed. At this Tala grinned and pinched Kai's cheeks. "Awww my little Kai is so cuteeee…"

At this Kai pouted, before smirking devilishly. He pushed Tala off the stage, into Bryan's arms. "Yaay, mommy and daddy's under the mistletoe~" Kai sang into the mic, before starting a chant. "Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!"

Tala swung his arms around Bryan's broad shoulders and gave him a French kiss. Many people blushed, and some looked away. "Bryan's been drinking wine… I can taste the wine in his mouth, bad example to the kids, hubbie."

Bryan just stood there, stunned, until…. "I'M GONNA FUCKING KILL YOU IVANOV! AND DON'T THINK I'VE FORGOTTEN YOU, HIWATARI!"

"Opps," Kai grinned. "Run like the wind, Tala! Run like the wind!" Kai jumped off the stage, and they both ran off.

"Soo, kisses are festive, huh?" Tala grinned. Kai sighed. "Alright, Tala." Tala and Kai shared a sweet and simple kiss.

...And so, that was our Tala and Kai's first Crazy Christmas.

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XP: Wheee so random. Lol. Review please ^-^ Missing some Christmasy stuff but that's only coz i've not celebrated christmas before. so how i know what's it's like?


	6. good kitty, new sibling?

XP: Sorry I took so long to update. Lol. This fanfic has crazy humor potential to make up for it. Enjoy!

I want to thank ImmortalKiky, marishka91 and ILoveKaiHiwatari for your reviews. Especially marishka91, coz I was about to quit writing this fanfic, but your review came, causing me to continue.

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**ILoveKaiHiwatari – Thanks for the compliment, hahas. (:**

**ImmortalKiky -- *hugs you back* Yeah… when I tell my friends I read/write for beyblade they were like 'what is that', and 'wtf?'. And, yeah, I've not celebrated Christmas before.**

**Marishka91 – Wow. Thanks for your super long review (: It made me continue my fanfic XD I'm so lucky to have you as my reviewer… I have more songs coming up! ^-^**

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Chapter six... Kitty troubles...XD**

"…I love you."

"I love you more"

Kai and Tala were now seating face to face, very close to each other. Every time they said the sentence, they would move a cm closer. And well, as Ray was cooking their breakfast, Tyson was sleeping, Hilary and Kenny weren't here yet, their only spectator was Max and Hiro.

"I love you more." _Closer_

"No, I love you more." _Even closer_

"I love you most." _Faces almost touching_

"…Can you guys stop? It's creeping me out." Hiro said. _Bad idea_…

"I know you're jealous, Hiro," Tala smiles very sweetly. "Want to join us in a threesome?" Hiro looks disgusted. Kai laughs, as Tala turned back to him, saying very seriously, "You must know that I love you Kai, but love must be shared all around the world~"

"Yup, yup, I know!" Kai chirped.

"What happened to their cold side I wonder?" Max wondered out loud.

At that, both Tala and Kai turned and looked at him in a way that said he was inferior compared to them. Their faces were smug, smirking at him. "Hn." Kai simply said, turning away from Max as if he wasn't worth Kai's attention. "Why do you stay with this brat pack, Kai?" Tala asked scornfully, disdain clear in his voice.

"Turn back! Turn back!" Max pleaded. Kai began to smile very cheerfully. Tala was grinning. Max breathed a sigh of relief. Tyson walked down the stairs yawning and stretching. At this Kai and Tala turned towards each other then looked at Tyson.

"It's a miracle! A miracle!" Tala fake faints, Kai catching him. Kai continued, "Tyson's actually awake! Without us trying to wake him!!" Then Kai fake faints, and both Kai and Tala plop on the ground together, motionless

"Jerks," Tyson growled. "Raaayyy is breakfast ready? I'm hungrrryyyy…" To emphasize the point, Tyson's stomach growled. Then Kai and Tala blinked, grinning at each other. They jumped off the floor and started singing.

"ZOMG! Tyson eats puppies!

ZOMG! Tyson eats kitties!

ZOMG! Tyson eats bunnies!

He eats helpless little animals! *dramatic gasp*

Tyson ate a chicken for breakfast

Along with a pig, duck and fish

Poor little chicky wasn't even born

Didn't get a chance at life…

Ray's a cat! Be careful!

Tala's a puppy!(Tala glares at Kai) Try not to be eaten!

Kai's a chicken! (Kai pouts at Tala) Must avoid Tyson!

Let's run away, away from evil Tyson!

ZOMG! Tyson eats puppies!

ZOMG! Tyson eats kitties!

ZOMG! Tyson eats bunnies!

He even eats chickens too!

…Tyson eats babies too!"

Kai and Tala collapse the floor again, rolling on the ground, laughing hard. "We're talented man!" Kai and Tala hi-fived each other. Then they start laughing again. Hiro chuckled at their song, and Max giggled.

"Breakfast is ready!" Ray hollered.

Both Tala and Kai leapt up, running towards the kitchen. They started pushing each other when they were at the table. "I want that seat!"

"Nuh-uh, I got here first," Kai sticks his tongue out at Tala.

"Pregnant women gets priority!" Tala retorted.

_Silence… _

"…YOU'RE PREGNANT AGAIN, TALA!? I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU TO GIVE CONDOMS TO YOUR RAPISTS!!!" Kai screamed. Tala covered Kai's mouth. Everyone blushed a little at Kai shouting out the word 'condoms'.

"Oh, shush, this child's blessed by God! And errr… err… Tyson ate those condoms, yeah…it's coz they were flavored. " Tala took this opportunity to sit on his favorite chair. Kai sat on his lap as if it was the most natural thing on earth. They shared a bowl of rice.

"Why do you guys eat so little?" Ray asked.

"Awww are you worried about me?" Tala cooed. "Well, when we were in the abbey, we never really got to eat much… We're not used to eating normal proportions of food. We're saving money for you…your money supply probably goes down very fast because of Evil Tyson…"

Everyone stared at Tyson pigging down food, food stains around his face. "Vat?" Tyson asked, mouth full of half chewed food, Everyone turned away in disgust. The doorbell rang. Tala scooped Kai up, placed him on the chair, patted him, then went to open the door.

"He treats you like a kid, Kai," Max commented. Kai snarled at him, and Max recoiled in his seat. Kai smiled childishly in victory. "OMG! Kai, YOU HAVE A LITTLE SISTER NOW!" Tala shouted.

"Oh, no wonder Tala went to open the door. He wanted to make a child…" Kai sighed and went over. He saw… … Mr DICKENSON!"HOLY FUCKING SHIT!" Kai shouted out without thinking.

Tala laughs, "No, Kai, look behind him." Kai peered around Mr. Dickenson like a scared little child, and saw Daichi. "See? She inherited my very hot red hair!" Tala said proudly. Kai sweatdropped. So Daishi was his little sister…

"YO! SO WHERE'S THE CHRISTMAS PARTY?!" Daichi screamed. He rushed to the kitchen. "Food!!!!" He began fighting Tyson for food, pushing each other and scooping food into their mouths in a mad frenzy.

"…The Christmas party was yesterday…"Kai sweatdropped again. "He's so dumb, he's probably Tyson's child…"

"He is," Tala says simply, walking past Kai, into the kitchen. Kai stared at Tala's back with sick wonder. Not many people can make jokes about themselves being raped.

"Hey! You're not pregnant anymore! Get off the chair!" Kai lunged at Tala, causing Tala and the chair to fly. They wrestled for a while, not noticing the now broken chair.

"Why can't you guys just share?" Ray asked in exasperation.

"SHARING IS FOR CARE BEARS! AND WE'RE NOT CREEPY CAREBEARS!" The two Russians shouted. Then, Tala added, "Now that I think about it…Ray's name…" Kai continued, "Is one letter away from being 'rat'. Just change the 'y' to a 't'… AND HE'S A NEKO-JIN! Poor father of mine…"

"Poor thing," Tala cooed. "Your mother must have hated you to call you 'Ray'. Your village must have shunned you because of your exquisite name. Oh, my poor sweet Ray…"

Ray sighed loudly in exasperation. "She called me Ray as I was her 'little ray of sunshine'…"

"Forget it Ray, if you try to change them or disagree with them, they'll attack you…" Max advised.

Suddenly knifes and forks struck the wall behind him, barely missing his face. "Oops, sorry, my hand slipped," The Russians stated innocently. "What did you say, freckle face? Mind repeating, if it's not too much strain on your blond brain?" …_They just proved his point…_

Kai stole Hiro's utensils and started eating again. Then suddenly, he clutched at his cheek in pain. Tala turned towards him in concern immediately. "Show me, Kai." Kai shook his head violently. "Kai." Kai looked into Tala's eyes and gave up. He removed his hand.

Tala held Kai's chin and started examining his cheek. "Say 'aah' Kai." Kai did it very obediently. "Oh no, Kai, you have tooth decay… I told you not to clear out Max's secret stash of hyper sugar candy in a night!!!! And you didn't brush your teeth like I told you to!!!"

"He…He… He what? He ate my secret stash? NOOOOO MY PRECIOUS!!!!" Max screamed at the sky…ceiling… and turned to glare at Kai with a hurt expression, like they killed his puppy. But if that's the case he should glare at Tyson for eating the puppy.

"We need to bring him to the dentist," Ray announced. Kai's eyes widened and he looked like a deer caught in the headlights. He clung onto Tala for dear life. "That'll be hard…" Tala looked down at Kai. "Bryan told us some scary stories about the dentist. Kai and Ian were scarred forever…and after that I brushed my teeth everyday."

To emphasize the point, Tala smiled at them and showed his pearly white teeth. "Come on, Kai, don't you want teeth like mine?" Kai mumbled a 'no'. Tala pouted down at Kai. "Just for that I'm gonna force you to go to the dentist." Kai whimpered pathetically.

"But…But they're evil!!!!" Kai wailed. "I don't wanna go! I promise I'll be a good boy! Don't make me goooo!" He began crying like a little child, sobbing and rubbing at his eyes.

"…Alright. It was a piece of vegetable anyway," Tala shrugs. Kai smiled then glomped Tala. "Yaay! Tala's the best!"

"Wha…Huh…But… So all that was for nothing?" Ray asked, stunned and confused.

"Yup." Both of them answered, and Kai added, "My cheek wasn't even in pain! Hahaha, idiots! But seriously, dentists are scaaaarry. They hold this gigantic evil drill and '' sounds come out! And they drill at your teeth!"

Tyson and Daichi looked scared. In his explanation Kai made big arms movements and at the drilling part his face looked pure evil as he made his hand into a drill and turned his hands about in a frenzy. "Anyway, that's how Bryan did it." Kai finished.

"So why the heck did you pretend there was something?!" Ray screamed.

"Chillax. It was getting too boring," Tala said as way of explanation.

"You guys are good actors," Hiro compliments. At that Tala and Kai's eyes light up. They were good actors from long years of tricking the Blitzkrieg boys.

"He just complimented us, Kai-chan," Tala said with wide eyes.

"He loves us, Tala," Kai said in an astounded voice. Then together, they asked, "Want a threesome?"

"WHY DOES IT ALWAYS GO TO THAT?!?!?!" Hiro snapped. Then he started throwing all sort of random stuff he could get his hands on at them. _Cushions, vases, cups, pens, Daichi… _Wait a moment…he threw Daichi? Giggling like crazy, Tala and Kai split up, hiding at different places.

Kai hid in Ray's room, locking the door. He decided to see if Ray had any… _special _stuff. Smirking evilly, he rummaged through Ray's drawer. "What's this?" Kai wondered, taking out a bag of sealed stuff. Looks kinda…edible. He ate some, and he suddenly felt like…like…like he reached _paradise_…

"Meow!!!!" Kai grinned, eating more and more till he finished the whole bag. His bangs covered his eyes, and he let out some evil sounding snicker, dark aura surrounding his body. Hiro, in a fit of anger, broke open the door, screaming, "KAI!!!"

Kai mechanically turned towards him, crimson eyes glowing eerily, a huge psychotic smile on his face. "RAWRRR!!!!" Kai lunged onto Hiro, his sharp claws digging in Hiro's neck. "Urkkk… K-K-Kai…?" Hiro tried to pry Kai's hands off him, but to no avail. He choked, feeling dizzy from the lack of air.

"OMG!!!! KAI! STOP IT!" Max had came up to check on them, only to see this horrible, scary scene that seemed to be from a horror movie. Kai snarled and growled, jumping off Hiro, slamming his new prey into the wall. "MAX!!!" Tyson cried out.

"What happened here?" Ray peered into the room. "Ohhh god, no, anything but that!!! MY…MY CATNIP!!! HE ATE MY CATNIP!!! TALA! COME HERE AND STOP KAI FROM WREAKING HAVOC!!!"

Tala's head popped up from behind Ray. "You called, dear?" Ray seemed spooked from Tala's sudden appearance. "WHAT ARE YOU?! ALIEN?! TELEPORTER?!"

Tala said nothing as he stared at Kai. "Oh…sweet mother of Jesus… MY LITTLE BOY'S ALL GROWN UP!!! GO KAI!!!!"

He got whacked by Ray for that. "Don't hit me, Kon," Tala said evilly. "Or I'll get Tyson to eat you." Ray shivered, and Tala continued, "Oh, Kai is so hot when he goes berserk…*insert airy sigh* anyway, Ray, can't you communicate with him? You're both half-kitties at the moment."

"A little…" Max wheezed, "help here?"

"…Meow, meow, meow, meow rrffftttt…" Ray said in kitty language. Tala stared at Ray, then started howling in laughter. Kai turned to stare at Ray and Tala for a while. Then… he went to kill Tyson.

"GO KAI! AVENGE ALL THE LITTLE ANIMALS HE ATE!!!" Tala cheered from the sidelines. Ray sweatdropped.

"Tala… you're our only hope… stop Kai…" Max coughed out before fainting on the ground.

"Hmmm, add 'your holy highness of supreme hotness' and I'll reconsider…" Tala rubbed his chin. In a fit of anger, Ray hit the back of Tala's head, causing Tala to faint. And so, their only hope was gone.

Hiro was lying on the floor, clothes all messed up, foaming at the mouth. Max had fainted face down on the floor, and Tyson was currently beaten into a bloody pulp by Kai. Tala had fainted due to Ray, and Daichi was in the living room, unconscious due to Hiro throwing him into a wall. It was up to Ray to save the day!

"Kai… stop… we're both cats…so don't kill me…" Ray pleaded. Kai dropped a badly disfigured Tyson on the floor and turned his eyes to Ray, crouching and hissing. Then… he pounced onto Ray. So much for that plan.

"Hiwatari…" Tala's voice sounded. "You're going down, bad boy!!!" Tala knocked Kai off Ray, then they begun wrestling for domination on the ground. "Do you want a piece of me, punk? Do you want a piece of me?!?!?!" Tala roared.

Tala jumped up, grabbed Kai's wrists and slammed him into the wall. Kai looked extremely vulnerable at the moment. Tala looked like an animal on a rampage, hair all messy and clothes all crumpled. Tala bared his teeth at Kai, and Kai mewled.

"I've got him under control now," Tala said cheerily, switching personalities like turning the lights on and off. Kai purred and rubbed his cheek against Tala's shoulder. Tala patted his hair gently, "Good boy, Kai!"

Then slowly, everyone regained consciousness, getting up stiffly like zombies… Tala shrieked like a girl, causing his very loyal pet cat (Kai) to pounce on them and knock them unconscious again. "So… now what? Kai will probably turn back to normal in a few hours, when the effects wear off…" Ray scratched the back of his head.

"That's great," Tala grinned. "Coz when Kai's like this… he lets me…" Tala pinched Kai's, as Tala says, hot ass. Kai merely mewled. "You see? You can do anything to him!" Tala put his arm around Kai's waist and nibbled on Kai's ear. Kai purred.

"…Stop molesting Kai, you sicko. I thought you were his mother?" Ray said, disgusted.

"Why? You wanna join?" Tala's hand went under Kai's shirt…

"...IVANOV?!" Kai growled, violently pushing Tala away.

"Oh man, he recovered so fast," Tala pouts. "I must stock up on catnip!!!"

"YOU DIEEEE!!!!!" Kai attacked Tala savagely.

"…Russians are scary. And never, ever, let Kai near catnip again," Ray concluded.

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XP: End of chapter six. Review please? XDDD. One day I sat on the sofa and suddenly it popped up in my mind, "catnip". And the song was when I couldn't sleep at 3 a.m. That's my best song writing time.


	7. pikachu doll,pikachii?

XP: Ooh, more people reviewed… school's starting soon. I have unfinished homework… and so, I won't be updating as often… Heh, enjoy it while it lasts then…

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Thank you, , ILoveKaiHiwatari, ImmortalKiky, Inariate, blackwolborg1996 and marishka91 for reviewing. Marishka91 gives me the longest reviews…XD I love you man. I love all of you for reviewing.

**—Thanks. Here's the update~ ^-^**

**ILoveKaiHiwatari—lol you evil bastard XD Yeah, it's the best time pass, I agree, hehe. (: I'll try to keep the humor up~**

**ImmortalKiky—Do you play tales of the world? It's a PSP game. XD**

**Inariate—Yaay, new reviewer. Lol, thanks for all your reviews XD**

**Blackwolborg1996 – wow, thanks for the high marks! I'm curious, is 1996 part of your name coz you were born in that year? Coz I'm born in 1996.**

**Marishka91—Thanks for the long review!! Thanks for the compliments, really. You're always the one that makes me post the new chapters up. Lol. Watch out, family's here…**

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Tala's face was scary. He had two black eyes, courtesy of Kai. His lip was split, and his left cheek was swollen. Kai sure hits hard… Hilary was trying to treat Tala's wounds, but Tala kept on swatting her hand away. "No one touches Tala Ivanov!"

"Except maybe your rapists?" Kai asked in a sickly sweet voice. He was apparently still angry over Tala's molestation. When Tala looked at him, he turned his head away angrily.

"Oh, come on, Kai, forgive me already…" Tala whined.

"Stay still Tala! Let me treat your wounds or your face won't heal! You'll be ugly forever!!" Hilary screeched. Kai hid a smirk behind his hand, which Tala noticed.

"No matter! I will forever be hot!" Tala said smugly.

"…I feel a song coming up…" Max groaned.

"I'm so hot I melt ice cubes," Tala sang. Kai kept silent. "SING KAI! SING AND LET YOUR BEAUTIFUL MELODIC VOICE FILL THE WORLD!!!!" Kai seemed slightly embarrassed, but reluctantly agreed.

Tala: I'm so hot I melt ice cubes

Kai: I'm so cute your stuffed toys lose

Tala: My name is Tala, I'm so hot

Kai: My name is Kai, aren't I cute?

Tala: I'm so hot from head to toe

I'm burning up, I'm stripping now

Kai: I'm so cute you can't avert your eyes,

I'm making you blush, eating me up with your eyes.

Together: Uh huh, we're Tala and Kai

We're so desirable it's almost impossible.

Are we arousing you, with our bodies?

Flirtatious smiles and little sly winks

Tala: Why are we born so perfect?

Kai: Is it for Tala to always be raped?

Tala: Is it for Kai to be in others' sick fantasies?

Together: Is it for us to be treated harshly?

Kai looked down at his hands at the last sentence. "…I'm sorry for hitting you, Tala." He glanced at Tala's direction with his huge, sad crimson eyes… "Will you forgive me?"

"Awwww who could resist those eyes? It was my fault in the first place, so you hitting me cancelled them out. Come here and let mummy hug you…" Tala cooed and Kai obediently went over and sat in his lap. Tala wrapped his arms around Kai and breathed in deeply. "Why do you always smell so good?"

"…Cause I'm Kai Hiwatari," Kai replied smoothly. That shamelessness was probably inherited from Tala… XD. Kai played with Tala's hair absentmindedly. "When will they come for us, Tala? … I wish this could last forever…"

"Aw, cheer up, who's cares about Voltaire and Boris?" Tala ruffled Kai's hair.

"Slap that Boris, punch that Boris,

let us hit that hideous Boris…" Tala's cell phone rang.

Kai stifled a laugh as Tala flipped open his cell phone. "Ay, hello? Oh, hi hubbie." Kai immediately sat up and leant over to listen.

"… _I'__m not your husband," _Bryan said 'calmly' over the phone_. _

"_Is that mommy!? MOMMY!!!!" _Ian screamed over the phone.

"How are our children, dear? Oh, and we have a new daughter named Daichi, and she's, well, Tyson's child," Tala said pleasantly.

"_WTF?!"_ Bryan hollered.

"Hi Ian! Hi Spencer!!!!" Kai shouted, jumping up and down on his seat excitedly.

"_Hi Kai!!! Spencer and I are having fun annoying Father (Bryan)!!!__ Yaaay for new siblings!!" _Ian chirped.

"Well, yeah, Tala breeds like a female pig," Kai glanced at Tala, who pouted. "Err… so why have you called?"

"_BRYAN HAD AN AFFAIR!!! …Just joking," _Ian's grin could be heard over the phone.

"He… he WHAT?! He had an affair? I'm SO gonna kill him!!!" Tala growled.

"_I said just joking!! Relax, he's very loyal, unlike you,__ getting raped all over the place,"_ Ian chuckled. _"We called, because, well, Bryan lost a dare. Go on, father!" _

"…_This is just a dare, Tala. … I…er, I… I love you, my very hot and sexy wife," _Bryan sighed._ "I… er… hope to see you soon, so that we can…ah... make more children."_

Kai and Tala squealed together, then giggled like little girls. Kai clutched his stomach, and Tala held a hand over his mouth. "Oh, I love you too, Bry… Hmm, I AM very hot and sexy, aren't I, Kai?" Tala asked, receiving a fast nod from Kai, before he went to laugh again. "Oh, Bry, you naughty little thing, I can't wait to see you so we can produce more offspring!"

"_Er… well, goodbye_," Bryan sounded choked._ "Muacks." _He…he kissed Tala over the phone? Kai erupted into fits of laughter again, and Tala laughed along. _"Ian! I'm gonna kill you for making me do that!!" _Bryan thundered.

"_Eep! Gotta run!"_Ian chuckled.

"…_Bye,"_ Spencer said.

"OH MI GOSH, HE KISSED YOU OVER THE PHONE!!!" Kai squealed.

"I KNOW! I KNOW!!!" Tala squealed back.

"…You two sound like high school girls obsessing over a guy," Ray commented. Everyone had been watching them speak on the phone. Tala and Kai both flipped him _the finger_, and stuck their tongues out.

"Come to think of it… wouldn't you two need to go to school?" Hiro asked.

"School? What's school?" Tala blanked out.

"You… don't know what's school?" Max asked. Tala shook his head. Then, they turned to look at Kai.

"…I know what school is. I was in Whitney Prep School. In fact, I was the first in my class," Kai said smugly, then sadly, he added, "Tala had always stayed in the abbey, so he couldn't have known what school was…" Kai continued suddenly, "IT'S OKAY TALA! SCHOOL IS STUPID! The teachers suck, the students suck, the activities suck… I mean, Tyson goes to school, and look at him!"

Tala looks at Tyson then shakes his head. "I know what you mean Kai. Tyson is dumb even though he goes to school. Therefore, school is useless," Tala concluded.

"…Did they just insult me?" Tyson asked Max, who nodded. "WHAT?! Why did you insult me?" Kai and Tala shrugged innocently.

"SIT STILL SO I CAN TREAT YOUR WOUNDS!" Hilary screeched, as Tala kept on dodging the cotton wool dabbed with medicine.

"What's it to you? It's my face, not yours. You're just trying to make up an excuse to touch my face!!!" Tala hid behind Kai. "Help me, Kai! She's trying to molest me!"

"…Go on, Hilary," Kai grinned.

Hilary flushed furiously, then Tala whined, "Kaaaaaaiii, my very cute, sexy little Kaaaiiii… won't you please, please, please save me??" Kai appeared to be deep in thought for a while.

"…No."

"But Kaaaaaiiii, I love you so much, don't you love me too? Come on, I'll give you…" Tala held out a huge pikachu doll… where did he get that from?? Kai's eyes brightened and they stared at the pikachu doll with childlike wonder.

"For me??" Kai asked in an astounded voice. "Really?" With Tala's nod, Kai snatched the cotton from Hilary's hand then begun to apply medicine onto Tala's face gently. "Now don't you move, Tala."

"Mmm," Tala agreed by making that sound. Kai's left hand cupped Tala's cheek carefully and he slowly applied the medicine, concern etched in his features. Tala kept on watching Kai as he worked.

The scene was really cute. Kai finished up then tackle-glomped the pikachu happily. "Mine! Pikachu mine! I should go call Brooky!" Kai dashed off to his room, the pikachu in his arms. Tala smiled as he watched Kai run off.

"BROOK!!! YOU WON'T BELIEVE WHAT I GOT FROM TALA!!!" Kai's excited voice could be heard from the living room.

"_What did you get??"_ Brook asked. "_What did you get from the pikachu-man(Tala)?" _

"He gave me a pikachu doll that was bigger than me!!!" Kai sighed blissfully. "Oh, life is great…"

"_Awwww I'm so envious… can I go over and hug it?"_Brooklyn pleaded. _"Please?"_

"Sure!!!" Kai replied happily.

"_Yaaay thanks! Pikachuuuu… ah haha… Pikachuuu…."_ Brooklyn started daydreaming about a land full of cute little pikachus. Kai hugged the gigantic pikachu doll. "…I think I'll name you Tala. Yaaay, I love you, Tala!!"

"I love you too, Kai!" Tala shouted from the living room.

"I was talking about my pikachu!!!" Kai shouted down.

"…Don't tell me… YOU NAMED THE PIKACHU AFTER ME?! Awww how sweet... Wait aaaa minute. Won't that be confusing? KAI!!! RENAME THE PIKACHU!" Tala hollered.

Kai was definitely pouting, because it was silent for a while. "Fine, I'll name him Kuja."

"But Kai! Kuja is the name of our-!" Tala stopped suddenly, looking at the people around him who were watching in interest. "Ehhh nothing. Go on Kai! Kuja sounds kickass! That is one strong pikachu!" Tala chuckled nervously, before scurrying off to open the door.

"Why, hello, Brook-"

Brooklyn dashed past Tala, screaming, "PIKACHU!!!!" Tala sweatdropped. He heard the voices of other people, and his ears perked up. Behind Brooklyn was Ming Ming, Garland, Crusher and Mystel.

Tala is not stupid. And so, he knows that Garland and Crusher are crushing on Kai (no pun intended), and Mystel likes Ray. Well, Ming Ming was just… annoying. Yup. "Wait up, Brook! I want to see the pikachu too!" Garland lied. He really wanted to see Kai…

Tala gently wrapped his hands around Garland's arm, leading him to the sofa. "Why don't you accompany me, Gar?" Tala smiled sweetly. He knew Garland was a martial artist. And that's why he's keeping him away from Kai. Garland stuttered and spoke gibberish as he sat down.

"So… what have you been up to these few days, Garland?" Tala asked in melodic tone, fluttering his eyelashes. He rested his hand on Garland's thigh, causing the boy to blush. "I-I-" Tala leant in to listen, his face of patience and interest. "Go on," Tala encouraged, smiling.

"Will…will you…go out with me?" Garland asked. Oh no. Tala didn't want this to happen. He just wanted to distract Garland from his little Kai, in case he forced himself onto Kai. Tala pursed his lips together. "I'm sorry, dear, but I'm not ready for that yet. Would you accept my phone number instead?" Tala's eyes shone of staged hurt and guilt.

"S-Sure!" Garland agreed hurriedly. "If it's not too rude... may I ask what happened?" Tala made his eyes teary. "Well… You see… the person I loved died…"

"Oh! I'm sorry!" Garland said, ashamed.

"It's okay," Tala lowered his eyes demurely, opening his ruby red lips to sigh wistfully. "I loved him so much… that it hurts. But it's okay now. Besides, I'm married."

"M-M-Married?!" Garland nearly screamed. Tala hid a grin. Oh, Garland was so easily tricked… "Yes, I'm married to Bryan Kuznetsov…I had a child with him."

"C-child?" Garland asked, confused. "Two guys had a child?"

Tala mentally thought, 'Mission accomplished', before standing up and dusting himself off, winking flirtatiously at Garland. He walked away, swaying his hips slightly, shoulders trembling with contained laughter. Mystel was chatting with Ray, while Crusher, Ming Ming and Brooklyn were nowhere to be seen…

…Were they all with Kai? Tala rushed up to Kai's room, to see…

Brooklyn squeezing the now named Kuja pikachu to death

Crusher motionless on the floor, a lump growing on his head where Tala assumed Kai hit him.

Ming Ming…pulling Kai's soft, fluffy, beautiful, silky…you get the point, hair?!

"Why do all the guys love you?!" Ming Ming screeched. "I sing better than you! How dare you steal my stage?!" She flicked out a knife…A KNIFE?! Kai stared at the blade blankly, as Ming Ming moved it closed to him. She was probably just going to scare him… but what fun would that be?

"…I shall kiss your blade," Kai's lips touched the sharp edge of the knife, and then his lips curled into a smile. "…now you die."

"HOW DARE YOU HURT MY KAI?!?!?! AND PULL HIS BEAUTIFUL HAIR?!" Tala went psycho. He pummelled Ming Ming into oblivion, bloody and disfigured, ignoring her pleas and screams. He laughed his maniacal evil laugh for while, then he flitted to Kai worriedly.

"Are you okay? How could that stupid bitch hurt you?!" Tala asked, lifting Kai's chin to see his face. His left cheek was bright red, like he was slapped. His lips were split, and blood was trickling down. Kai's eyes shone with unshed tears, which he blinked back.

"I'm okay…don't worry," Kai replied softly. "Won't you kiss it better?" Kai grinned.

"Silly boy," Tala chuckled, kissing Kai's luscious lips gently. Kai curled into Tala, seeking warmth. "It's okay now, Kai," Tala said soothingly, wrapping his arms around Kai protectively. "That bitch, a.k.a the bloody heap on the floor, is half-dead." Kai chuckled lightly, trembling.

"I'm so glad you're here," Kai whispered. What he was afraid of probably wasn't Ming Ming. It was probably the unpleasant flashbacks that the encounter brought. Tala licked away Kai's blood, which Ray saw when he barged into the room.

"Are you guys okay? I heard-" Ray froze, upon seeing Kai's frightened eyes and Tala licking Kai's lower lip. He immediately misunderstood the situation. "HOLY FUCKING SHIT WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO KAI, TALA?!!"

"Me?" Tala asked innocently. "Licking Kai, of course. Are you blind?"

"WHY ARE YOU LICKING HIM?!?!!?"

"That's coz Kai is tasty?" Tala replied. "Duh."

"…that's just…not…right…"Ray spasmed, convulsed, then fell onto the floor, unconscious. Kai chuckled, looking up at Tala, who winked at him. "That guy probably thought I was going to rape you… Though you are pretty rape worthy," Tala stroked his imaginary beard.

"That'll be the day… You raping people instead of being raped," Kai grinned, before running off. Tala blinked, before…"Get your hot ass back here, Kai! Momma's gonna give you a spanking for that!"

"NOOOOO!!!" Kai ran even faster, laughing hysterically. He ran into Tyson's room, which was messy as hell. Food remains were everywhere, crawling with ants, maggots and flies… Kai even saw a few cockroaches. "Ehh, Ty, if Tala comes, don't tell him where I am…" Kai jumped into Tyson's cupboard. The stench invaded his nose, and Kai scrunched it up. Yuck, does Tyson have no sense of hygiene? Tyson was currently reading a magazine…

He heard the door slam open. "Tyyyyson, have you seen my wittle cutesy wootzy Kai?" Tala whined.

"I haven't," Tyson replied.

"…If I find out that you have been hiding him, you shall pay. Heed my words, you're better off dead than letting me get my hands on you," Tala said darkly. Tyson shuddered. Woah, Tala has a dark side… Kai heard a suspicious squeaking sound. He looked down and saw a pair of beady black eyes staring back at him.

They engaged in a staring contest, before Kai whispered, "Come here." He held his hand out to the little rodent. It climbed onto his hand, running up his arm and into his shirt. Then, it stopped moving completely. Kai could feel the furry thing's warmth and heartbeat.

"…I think I heard my Kai. In fact, I think I smell the sweet scent of my Kai over your putrid, vile stench. … He's…IN THE CUPBOARD!!!!" Tala lunged at the cupboard, flinging it open. Rats were scampering all over Kai… who shown not even the slight fear other people would have been in.

"…Kai. Why are you not afraid?" Tala asked, sweatdropping.

"Hmm…they're…cute? Pikachi is an electric rat… so…" Kai trailed off. "I think I'll keep one. Is that okay, Ty?" Tyson nodded, not paying attention. Kai climbed out, rats dropping onto the floor…

"…Pikachi? Oh, so… Tyson was lying…excuse me while I beat him into a bloody pulp," Tala snarled.

"…Violence is not the solution, Tala," Kai sighed.

"Even though you resort to violence yourself? Besides, Bryan resorts to violence too, I learned it from him. We are one big, happy, violent family… Now, excuse me while I beat up Tyson…" Tala smiled.

"ARGGHHH!!! OUCH! IT HURTS! STOP! NO! NOT MY…" Tala kicked Tyson in the balls. HARD. Kai winced and flinched at each blow…as Tyson screamed some obscene words… "Didn't your momma teach you not to cuss?!?!!?" Tala hit Tyson even more.

"…You are one violent bitch, Tala," Kai shook his head sadly.

"One sexy red hot violent bitch, Kai," Tala grinned cheekily. Tyson now lay unconscious on the floor. Kai took out cans of hairdye from nowhere. "I'm gonna make this mouse's wish come true…HE'LL BECOME A PIKACHU!!!!"

After a long spraying session, the mouse was now yellow, with black ears and a brown tail. It also had two red circles on its cheeks. "Awww ain't it the cutest thing everrrr?" Kai cooed. "Aren't you, my little Pikachii?"

"Kai needs medical attention," Tala sighs.

"Says you," Kai rolled his eyes. "You're the violent one here…GO LITTLE PIKACHII!!!" The little rat jumped into Tala's shirt, moving around crazily. Tala laughed so hard tears came out of his eyes. "I…I admit defeat!!! MAKE IT STOPPP!!!!"

"Come back, Pikachi! ...Too bad I have no pokeball… oh well," Kai sighed. Pikachi jumped back onto Kai's shoulders. It's one smart rat…

"No fair! I want a pet too!" Tala pouted. "I WANT ONE!!! I WANT ONE!!! I WANT ONEEEEEE!!"

"You're acting like a spoilt brat, Tal. Fine, we'll go get one tomorrow…" Kai gave in to Tala's puppy eyes.

"YESSSS!!!! I win, I win, ooh yeah, ooh yeah," Tala started dancing. And so, they would be getting a new pet… who cares if anyone objects. No one would dare stand up to these two Russians anyway.

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XP: Ooh, review. XD. …Brooklyn's still in the room hugging the pikachu. He can't get enough of it, LOL. Yaay, another chappie done~


	8. pets, and fuck?

XP: BOO! School started. Humor level's gonna go down, angst. sadness, seriousness gonna appear... T-T Sadded. I hate school man.

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My favorite and most loyal reviewers...

**ImmortalKiky— You're a big fan, huh? XD sad that you don't have one ):**

**Marishka91 – You really are a great reviewer. You make me look forward to your reviews, and get super happy when i receive one (:**

**ILoveKaiHiwatari: It's okay, everyone has their own styles of reviews (: It's interesting. I appreciate a review of any sort. **

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"So? Which one do you want, Tala?" Kai asked excitedly.

"You," was Tala's unhesitant answer. Kai pouted. "Only the animals, Tala!"

The Bladebreakers were in a pet shop, because of Tala wanting to buy a pet. There were cats, dogs, parrots, snakes and rabbits. They've been looking at the animals for half an hour, with Hilary gushing over the cute ones.

"Fuck it, let's get everything," Tala decided.

"No! That's expensive!" Hiro cried out loudly. Mr. Dickenson had given him some money to buy the pet Tala wanted. How kind of him. Tala pouted. "I want everything..."

A small grey kitten was rubbing itself against Kai's legs, while a black puppy was resting at Tala's feet. A parrot was on Kai's shoulder, repeating, "fuck it, fuck it." A snake was around Tala's neck and shoulders, and Tala hugged a rabbit to his chest. "Please?" Tala and Kai asked in their cutest voice, eyes wide and shining with hope.

Hiro gave in. "F-Fine…" He looked away.

"You won't regret it…" Tala says slyly, tracing Hiro's chest with his finger. "Just kidding. And hey, just a suggestion, but want a threeso-"

Kai covered Tala's mouth, effectively shutting him up. They didn't want Hiro going psycho and throwing animals around now, did they? "… Do you realize what we have done, Tala? We brought Tyson over into a pet shop… There are many little animals here that look pretty tasty…"

"What's wrong? Some people eat dogs in china. Some people shoot birds to eat. Some desperate people eat rats. Snake is a delicacy. And some mentally challenged people eat cats…" Tala shrugged. Kai stared at Tala. Hard. "Fine… ZOMG! TYSON'S GONNA EAT ALL THE ANIMALS HERE! CALL SPCA!!!"

"Better," Kai's lips curled into a smile. Tyson merely sighed, being the poor subject to their random insults.

"Oh, if we buy all of them, wouldn't Tyson eat them?" Tala questioned.

"Judging by the amount of rats in his room, and how fast they reproduce like you," Kai smiled at Tala, who pouted, "I'm sure he's well fed." Point well made. Doesn't mean Tala couldn't sulk.

"Let's get out of here already," Hilary shuddered. The red snake around Tala hissed and snapped his jaws at Hilary, who shrieked and hid behind Max. Kai chuckled and picked up the little grey kitty that seemed to love head butting his feet.

"Zomg! Tyson eat animals! Zomg! SPCA! Fuck it! Mentally challenged Tyson! Get out of here!" The parrot chirped. Kai whispered into its ear. "Tala raped by everyone, squawk! Tala's unfaithful, poor Bryan!" The parrot repeated loyally. Tala's pout got even more obvious. "Kai's a meanie…"

The parrot seemed to process the words awhile, before jumbling it up. "Meanie Bryan and Unfaithful Tala raped Kai!" Everyone's eyes went wide. "Squawk! Squawk!" Tala and Kai looked at it murderously.

"What makes you think I'll share Kai-"

"The one getting raped should be Tala-"

Kai and Tala looked at each other, before chuckling. "Go pay, Hiro!!" Hiro grudgingly went over to the shop owner that looked too happy, so happy Hiro wanted to bash him up. He paid, gritting his teeth, resisting the urge to kill the man before him for running the store.

"Yaayy!!" Kai and Tala ran out of the store like sugar high kids on drugs. They jumped about and chased each other in circles. Well, Kai ran a square, turning sharply at corners while Tala ran in circles. "Fuck! Fuck! Yaayyy!" The parrot cheered.

"…I sense a song coming up," Ray sighed.

Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck with a 'F'!

Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Ends with a 'K'!

Fuck can be used everywhere

Fuck's the greatest word in the world

Fuck you! Fuck her! Fuck him! Fuck that!

It's a fucking great world, yeah.

Fuck's a great word, say it anywhere

Fuck off, you fucking fucker!

Ay, it's a fucktastic word

You're fucking adorable, Kai.

Who gives a fuck, Tala?

What the fuck is going on here?

Fuck if I know.

I had a fucking great time.

Today's really fucked.

He's a fuck-off.

I guess I'm really fucked now.

I can't understand this fucking thing.

Fuck you, get out of here!

Fuck! You scared the shit outta me!

I'm going to knock your fucking head off.

Fuck's the best word ever!!!!!!!!!!!

Tala and Kai sang happily, and the crowd they attracted clapped heartily. …That rhymed. "Yaaaay let's fucking go back to our fucked home with our fucktastic pets with those fuckers!" Kai cheered.

"Kai, you are fucking talented with the fucking word fuck," Tala said in awe.

"Why, god fucking thank you!" Kai smiled.

"Stop fucking inserting the fucking word fuck every fucking where!!" Hilary screeched. "Oh no! I'm fucking infected!" Kai and Tala laughed their best evil laughter before running off.

"Come back here you little fuckers!" Hiro smacked his forehead. "I just said it, didn't I?" Everyone nodded.

"…I'm fucking hungry," Tyson said. Hiro glared at him hard.

_At the dojo…_

"Anyone who says the word 'fuck' will put a dollar in this container!!!" In Hiro's hands was a huge container that seemed like a baby bottle, without the 'baby' size.

"Put it in then," Kai smiles.

"Huh?"

"You said it…" Tala smiles.

"I didn't say fuck…" Hiro got tricked. Oh no… He put a dollar in the bottle. "No one can make me say that word!!!"

"What word?" Tala and Kai asked.

"The word!" Hiro shouted.

"Which one?" Tala and Kai chimed.

"FUCK! URGHHH!!!" Hiro slammed the dollar in. Tala and Kai shared a high five. Tala decided to call Bryan…

"_What the fuck do you want, Ivanov? Do you know what fucking time it is, you fucker? You are seriously fucked up in the head!!__ Now fuck off!"_ Bryan hollered. Then, he ended the call. Tala grinned deviously. He had recorded the conversation. Now to edit it…

"What are you two up to?" Hilary asked, an eyebrow raised.

"_Fuck off!" _Tala played on his phone. "Bitch," Tala added as an afterthought.

"What's with you two and insulting people? And a dollar in the container!" Hilary screeched.

"No need, because it was BRYAN who said it," Tala grinned. Kai's eyes sparkled. "Oh, so that's what it was for…ooh, we just love insulting people…"

Bitch, asshole, bastard, jerk.

Cretin, imbecile, asinine, fool.

Idiot, fucker, psycho, sucker.

Loser, pedophile, insane, mentally challenged.

Ugly, Hideous, freaky plump.

Disgusting, Whiny, Irritating, Annoying.

Loud, obnoxious, ignorant, proud.

Egoistic, sadistic, feminist, homosexual.

Gay, fag, sissy, Girly-man.

Bald, Creepy, weird, abnormal.

Strange. Hateable, evil, liars.

Hypocrites, Backstabbers, self-centered crybabies

Sneaky, Vulgar, Barbaric, poor.

Selfish, Childish, Immature, Goth.

Silly, Screechy, drag queen, harlot.

Eccentric, slutty, flirty, dirty,

Control freak, Deluded, low self-esteem, smelly.

Whore, Fat, Pathetic, stinky.

Yay, so many insults in so little time.

We must be talented, and now we end,

"Baka, Aho, Ben dan, Xiao bai lian, Arschloch, Babi.

…Last one was pig, but who cares?

"…How do you two think up of songs so fast?" Hilary asked. "You're definitely better than that Ming Ming."

"Talent works wonders!" Kai chirped, before taking on an insulting tone, "Unlike you, who's talentless."

"What the F-" Hilary stopped herself in time. "You two are jerks."

"…Proud to be one, bitch," Tala looked at his nails dismissively. Then, the snake around Tala's shoulders begun to unwind, making a low hissing sound, staring at Kai. "…T-Tala… your snake is looking at me weird…"

"That's coz you're hot, my baby boy," Tala said absentmindedly. Then, the snake lunged at Kai! "AHHHHHH!!!!" Kai screamed. The snake curled itself around Kai, moving into his shirt and thrashing around. "AH hahahaha, it's so ticklish!!! NO, stop, Pikachii, stop!"

The snake was probably trying to eat Pikachii(Kai's rat)… T-T. Tala's dog begun chasing Kai's cat, nipping at its tail. The bunny begun hopping about and trying to catch the parrot. Chaos ensued.

"Squawk! MEOW! RFFFTTT! ARF ARF! SQUEAAAKKKK! HISSSSS…" These sounds were made, repeatedly. Are quite shrilly may I add.

"GET THEM TO FUCK THE FUCK UP!" Everyone hollered. Except our two Russians of course.

"_Fuck off, Fuckers!" _Tala played on his phoned, projecting his husband's voice. "Mind your own business…Ahh!" Tala got attacked by the savage bunny which was trying to get to the flustered parrot.

"Haha! Stop!!! It's…It's so goddamn itchy!!!!" Kai laughs as the snake and mouse slithered/ran about under his shirt, down his pants, then back up. "Make it stop!! Make it stop!!!" The cat and the dog ran about the house, crashing many expensive looking vases.

"Oh no, that vase is very expensive…" Kenny muttered.

"KAI AND TALA! RETURN THOSE PETS TO THE PET SHOP THIS INSTANT!" Hiro screamed, looking psychopathic. Oh no, he reached his limit.

"But… But…" Tala mumbled.

"GO! OR I'll BEAT YOU UP!!" Hiro thundered. Kai's lower lip trembled like he was going to cry. His eyes glistered with unshed tears. Tala looked at Kai worriedly and hugged him from the side, glaring up at Hiro defiantly. "Do not speak like that to Kai!!"

"I SPEAK TO HIM IN WHATEVER I LIKE! YOU LITTLE BRATS HAVE NO RIGHT TO ORDER ME!" Hiro snarled. "YOU THINK YOU GUYS CAN INSULT PEOPLE AND NOT BE INSULTED BACK?"

Kai flinched, and Tala hugged him tighter. "You…" Tala's voice was trembling with fury, "Have no idea how we were insulted. You, have no right to beat us. You, have no right to scream at us. SHUT THE FREAKING FUCK UP!"

"Tala, you're scaring me," Kai whispered. "Calm down…" Tears rolled down his face silently, like pearls falling from a broken string. So beautiful. Tala sighed and nuzzled Kai's shoulder. "Sorry."

"PUT A DOLLAR IN THE CONTAINER!" Hiro growled, because Tala said the forbidden word. Tala glared at him and put in a hundred dollar note. "FUCK YOU TO THE FUCKING DEPTHS OF THE FUCKING BURNING HELL FOR FUCKING ETERNITY BECAUSE YOU ARE ONE GODDAMN MOTHER FUCKER THAT DOESN'T FUCKING KNOW HOW TO FUCKING SHUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTH. YOU THINK YOU CAN FUCKING SCREAM AT US, FUCKER?! YOUR FUCKING DIRTY AND FUCKING WEAK HANDS CANNOT EVEN FUCKING TOUCH US LET ALONE FUCKIN HURT US SO FUCK OFF AND MIND YOUR OWN FUCKING BUSINESS YOU FUCKERRRR!!! DON'T FUCKING MAKE MY FUCKING BEAUTIFUL KAI FUCKING CRY. WE ARE FUCKING GONNA KEEP THOSE FUCKING PETS AND YOU CANNOT FUCKING BLOODY STOP US FUCK-TARD. Ah, that felt fucking great."

"Holy shit, Tala," Kai laughs lightly. "Your mouth is dirty."

"Surrree, at least it cheered you up," Tala grinned. "What should we name our pets??" Tala seemed thoughtful. Tala put his arm around Kai's shoulder, leading him away from Hiro. Tala protected Kai in his own little way. Hiro stared at their retreating backs in shock. _Their bond was closer than he thought…so much that it was scary._

"Hiro's no hero," Tala pouts. "He should be renamed Fucker. Let's call him fucker from now on. We have a hundred fucks to use anyway."

"Sure," Kai agreed, chuckling. He wiped away his tears and grinned at Tala.

No mater what, Tala would be there for him, always able to put a smile on his face. Tala was just so important to him… he loved the way they could make up pranks and songs so fast, the way he could simply go crazy with Tala…

Kai tried to kiss Tala's cheek, but Tala dodged. Kai pouted, then Tala took him by surprise, kissing his pouty lips. Kai smiled against the kiss, and felt Tala do the same.

_Best friends forever_.

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XP: Do you guys want the pets named after you guys? Wanna give them names? Drop in a review and we shall see! XD


	9. Blitzkrieg boys invited to japan!

XP: Wootz. Chapter up. I'm doped up on painkillers… WHY NOT AS MUCH PEOPLE READ MY OTHER FIC, "Russia's never boring!" T-T *cries* …Oh well. Read on~

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**Thanks for the reviews…**

**Blackwolborg96: WOOTZ SAME AGE!!! *high fives* yup ,yup, randomness rocks!**

**Miyako: Consider it done. See down there? It's done. I adore cats too (: All that adorable fluffy cuteness… **

**Mika: WOO! Such a long review again~~~ *jumps for joy* LOL. *Drumrolls* The family is here!!!!**

**Sonu: I sense some competitiveness~ XD The insults are just… taken from the air. Yeah, I'm in contact with them often. Not gonna kill you, man. SCHOOL SUCKS! AGREED! …Fck's the best word eva.**

…**where's ImmortalKiki… ):**

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Cat—Miyako

Puppy—Mika

Rabbit—Sonu

Parrot – Sani(ty) (lol sanity)

Snake-- still unnamed ):

Rat-- Pikachii

XP: See? The names of the cat and dog matches. So I made the rabbit and parrot match too.

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"But I don't wanna go to school if Tala's not there!!" Kai whined. He looked like he was going to cry from frustration. His hair was all messy because of the parrot on his head. He was seating on the edge of the sofa, waving his hands about madly while Tala was curled around him, eyes half-lidded. He seemed very bored and tired.

They had been discussing the topic of school, and decided that Kai will go to school while Tala be taught by Hiro(, as Tala calls him) at home first to catch up. No matter how much Kai refused, he couldn't win. Tala just had his first lesson on the history of japan… "I wanna be with Kaaaaii," Tala yawned, before smiling sleepily, "I'll miss his cute ass if he goes~ Sides' how hard can school be if Tyson's there??"

"Stop insulting me!!" Tyson growled. "And no, don't bring up that I eat small animals or whatever!"

"But you do," Kai deadpanned simply, not in the mood. "I WANT TALA!!!" The cat, Miyako, jumped out from Kai's arms in alarm at the sudden raise of tone. The puppy, Mika, that was resting at Tala's feet saw this and went to chase after Miyako, causing chaos. Sonu twitched its nose and ears at the noises, and Sani began tugging at Kai's hair gently.

The snake curled around Tala's body, going in rounds. "…The Blitzkrieg boys also haven't received education, right? …If you go to the school like a good boy, Kai, I'll get them to come over and study with you guys." Ray said. …He immediately regretted it.

"Honto ni?! Ii no ka?" Kai asked, eyes shining brightly. (Really? Is it okay? XP: At least that's what I think it means :p)

"I'll call!!!" Tala took out his phone, suddenly very energetic. Everyone sweatdropped at them. He dialed the number he memorized by heart, and gave it to Kai.

"Dada?" Kai called sweetly.

"_Wrong number,"_Bryan replied quickly.

"Not so fast, Kuznetsov!" Tala growled, taking back the phone. "I know you got caller ID. And how could you not recognize the voice of your baby boy?"

"…_Why else do you think I said wrong number?"_ Bryan growled. _"Why can't you guys just leave me alone?! Do you get some kind of twisted amusement by watching me suffer?"_

"I thought you said you missed me and wanted to make babies with me, honey," Tala sounded sad. "Remember? Is it because I've not returned home for so long? Is it because of the affairs I have? Is it because I have a relationship with my own son, Kai? Is it because I have, with Hiro, a threeso-" Kai covered, Tala's mouth under the glare of Hiro.

"Wat'cha looking at, fucker?" Tala said casually to Hiro.

"YOU."

"I know I'm hot and all, but-" Tala got cut off by Bryan.

"_You are one twisted freak, Ivanov. See? You have done so many wr__ong things. Who would marry you?" _Bryan sighed.

"Are you worried?" Tala purred into the phone. "Aww, you're so sweet, darling, you know I love you too! I know your harsh façade is a lie, you are so sweet to me when we make love…" Kai burst out laughing at that.

"This," Kai began, "is unexpected, but Tala is a virgin." Collective gasps were heard throughout the room.

"Shush, Kai, or I'll rape your ass till you can't scream. Let's see if you'll call me a virgin then…" Tala said innocently. Kai simply pouted.

"_Shut the fuck up, Ivanov."_

"Oh, and thank you for your 'fucks' the other day, Bryan," Tala grinned at Kai. The double meaning there…

"_What??"_ Bryan sounded incredulous.

"_Hi mommy!"_ Ian screamed, and sounds of snatching the phone was heard. _"So, why you calling, Ma? Everytime you call Bryan goes red in the face. Though I'm not sure from embarrassment or anger…"_

"From pleasure and embarrassment, my dear little boy," Tala purred. "Anyway, You guys are invited to come to japan and receive an education… You MUST come, Ian. And blackmail Bryan to make him come. I'm sure you know he wouldn't want to come…"

"STOP. SAYING. 'COME'," Kai growled.

"Come on, Kai. They're coming…" Tala grinned. Kai hit Tala's head gently.

'_Sureee! I have a couple of ideas already!! …And Tala, you might want to see a psychiatrist for your mental problems. Byee!"_ Ian hung up.

"What's that supposed to mean?!" Tala glared at the phone. Kai smirked, "That means you're not right in the head, and you need to get yourself fixed." Tala directed his glare to Kai, who started whistling. Then, they both burst out laughing for no apparent reason. Just like that, they became friendly again.

"Let's have a song for the Blitzkrieg boys!!!" Tala grinned.

The Blitzkrieg Boys are coming to town,

With Ian and his nose looking like a clown…

Bryan with machine guns in hand,

I think we should be starting a band.

Spencer with a sewing kit in bag

He is really a very good nag.

Then Tala will annoy his husband

Forgetting Bryan has a gun in hand.

Kai will sit around doing nothing,

To no end, just singing and singing.

And chaos will erupt in the house.

Higher, and higher, goes Hiro's pulse.

The pets will go crazy,

While Tyson is lazy.

Precious vases will shatter and break.

Vulgarities coming from Sani's beak.

It will be so much fun,

Before Hiro kills us, let's run.

Tala and Kai cheered. (Rhyming is so hard ): Did my best) Everyone sweatdropped at them. "THE BLITZKRIEG BOYS ARE COMING!!!!!! WHOOOOO!!!" Tala grinned.

"…Thanks to you, Tala, and your pervertedness, the word 'coming' is now SO wrong to me," Kai shook his head sadly. "I can never look at the world in the same way!" Kai added dramatically. "Oh, woe is me!!! Woe is me!!!"

"Go drama club," Max said with an edge in his tone. "You guys are good at acting."

"What's that I hear in your tone, Blondie?" Tala growled. "Don't like us, is that it?"

"No one really likes us, Tala," Kai said softly.

"Who cares?" Tala said indignantly. "I like you. I LOVE you. My love can rival a million people's love. And that is enough, isn't it? That has always been enough for us, hasn't it? Who cares if they don't like us? I hate them more than they hate me."

"I know, Tala, but…" Kai sighed, eyes downcast. "We're really like outcasts of the society. No one accepts us. We don't blend in…"

Tala hugged Kai tightly. "Sometimes, Kai, people can't accept others that are different from them. They feel threatened. Because of that, they try to oppress us. And will we let that happen? No. We are _special_, Kai. _You_ are special. Everyone should be a little different, so that things are more interesting… We wouldn't want a billion Tysons around. "

"So deep, Tala," Kai laughs.

"Remember this, Kai, _You mean the world to me_… nothing can ever change that. So, believe in yourself, believe in _me_, and everything will be fine. Okay?" Tala asked.

"Kay," Kai smiles sweetly at Tala, trusting him with everything he had. Everything he had in that little tormented soul of his.

_Trusting Tala to make it all better, because Tala always did. _

"You are so fucking cuuuute," Tala coos, snuggling with Kai. Kai smiled contentedly, feeling the warmth of his favorite person in the world. Everyone looked on, astounded. These were the personalities the two had hidden behind cold masks months ago.

…SMASH! The shattering sounds of ceramic and glass was heard. Oh, right, Miyako and Mika were still running about the house, knocking things down… "Make them stop!!!" Ray shrieked, covering his delicate ears.

"Ahh, the sweet sound of destruction," Tala sighed. "How I love that sound… Bry loves it too, you know." Kai ignored the sounds and the shrieks, cuddling with Tala. The savage rabbit, Sonu, began jumping about and knocking into things, trying to get to Sani, the parrot.

Poor Sonu even crashed into the window, with Sani squawking, "Haha! Idiot! Idiot! Haha!" While all of this happened, Kai was at peace. Tala began to sing…

Sweet sounds of destruction,

Ringing in my ears,

Violent sounds of aggressiveness,

Making me excited.

The mayhem that unfolds,

Is so entertaining,

The chaos that ensued,

I wish it'll last forever.

Glass shattering into smithereens,

Such a beautiful melody.

Your shrieks and screams,

Adding to the background.

I take pleasure in your pain,

I find amusement in your worries,

I take pride in your fear.

It is because…

I AM TALA!!!

THE HOT ONE!!

"…Last few sentences just killed the mood of the song," Kai chuckled. Tala pouted. (guess how long that song took? Under three freaking minutes. I do have some sort of weird disorder, probably.)

Nothing ever matters anymore,

Not even if the sky fell down.

As long as Tala is with me,

All will be fine.

I will never be lonely,

I will never walk alone,

I will always have someone to talk to,

Someone to believe in and trust.

We have some sort of weird telepathy,

He knows if I'm hurt, I know if he's sad,

He cares for me so much, desire to protect me so strong,

I love him so goddamn much, I trust him with the world.

We can overcome anything,

As long as we have each other,

We can do it together,

No matter what comes our way.

Tala is my best friend,

The one that understands me the most,

The one that cares for me the most,

The one that loves me the most.

…I sing this song…

BECAUSE I'M KAI HIWATARI

AND I'M SO DAMN CUTE!!!

Tala laughed, "What's that about? You ended the song in my style!" Kai smiled at Tala in reply. The doorbell rang followed by impatient banging on the door.

_No way…could it be…so quick?_

Tala dashed/skidded over, opening the door. "HONEY!!!" Tala tackled Bryan to the ground. "I missed you so damn much! Are we gonna make babies now? Huh? Are we?" Ian snickered, and Spencer couldn't stifle a chuckle.

Bryan groaned. "I already regret coming here…get off me, Ivanov, I'm still jetlagged from the trip…" Bryan looked rather green… then he pushed Tala off and bolted for the toilet. Puking sounds were now heard. Kai winced.

"Father threatened the people to get a private jet, because he refused to seat with the commoners. Then, he asked for it to be faster, because he was bored. The captain was so angry he deliberately drove super fast, before Bryan could get to his seat, so he was thrown around like a rag doll!" Ian explained, giggling.

"What about my children?" Tala asked, cupping Ian's face. "Do you feel sick? Do you need to lie down? Spencer, did you take good care of your little brother?" His face showed genuine concern.

"Mummy, I am fine! I love the feeling of being tall in the sky!" Ian grinned. The poor guy was always short so the feeling of being in air thrilled him to no ends.

"I took good care of him. He's in one piece, as you can see. I saved him from the wrath of Bryan," Spencer reported.

"We should have a family reunion! I'll call Brooklyn, and call Mr. Dickenson to get Daichi!" Tala shouted ecstatically. Ian and Kai nodded their heads quickly in agreement.

"Won't that be fun, going to school together?" Max said sarcastically.

"Man, I don't want to see what kind of havoc they'll wreck at school," Tyson groaned.

Bryan came back. "What did you say about my family, Kinomiya?" He growled menacingly. Wait a minute… did he say…family? Tala jumped him again. "Daaarling! You finally acknowledge us! I am so happy!" Tala cheered. "I'll be faithful to you from now on!"

"WTF!!! GET OFF ME!!!" Bryan screamed. "I… urgh… I feel sick…" Covering his mouth with one hand, Bryan ran for the toilet! …He didn't make it in time, and he puked all over Tyson. The stench was revolting.

"Eww! Sick!" Ray cried. Tyson had a thoughtful look on his face. "Hey, this tastes pretty good."

"…Tyson eats everything," Kai deadpanned, while others made a disgusted face. "I'm not proud to call him my half-father."

"So, what's school?" Ian piped up.

Ray facepalmed. "Let's all teach you guys the basics… do you know ABC?"

"ABC…is ABC, duh," Bryan rolled his eyes, wiping his mouth. Hiro sweatdropped.

"Me and Ray will be in charge of teaching you four, Tala, Ian, Bryan and Spencer," Hiro sighed. "Kai, go to school without them first."

"…Why didn't you say Bryan's name beside mine~" Tala whined.

"What difference does it make?" Kai frowned. "…Tala, you better learn fast and join me or I'll go through 'Tala withdrawal'… "

"Don't worry, son, your momma will do you proud," Tala patted Kai's back. "So… what's this… ABD thing again? Or was it ABE? ABG? ABC?"

Ray sighed, sensing a long day ahead… teaching these four Russians will be no easy task… "Why did god do this to me?!?!?!" Ray screamed up at the ceiling. Everyone gave him an odd look.

_They don't even know ABC?! How the heck is that possible!?!?!??!_Ray mentally thought. _Okay… be calm, Ray Kon… Relax… Deep breaths… … … _

_AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!_

_

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XP: REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIVE ME! ..some words get cut off sometimes. Irritating. ): If you notice mistakes, tell me?


	10. school! ZOMG plot!

XP: Thanks for the reviews. (: Recently, started school, very tired, so updates will take longer. Haizzz. I HATE SCHOOLLLLL. They take away my sense of humorrrr they kill my soullll they.... they... GIVE HOMEWORK!!! T-T *cries* Some times you'll get two story alerts coz i saw something in the chapter that needed editing and changed it. ): hope you don't get annoyed.

Increase in reviews makes me happy. (: Thanks to Sonu for advertising.

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**Chocolatexloverx16: thanks for the review. See the family thingy to be sure (: Kai thanks you for the Pikachu… and don't use those eyes on me. I'm immune thanks to overusing by Kai. XD**

**ILoveKaiHiwatari: can I call you Sonu? XD It's easier to type. The Blitz boys are great XD And yaay, long review (: Some people like touchy parts, I'll throw them in as freebie. Hahas. Careful not to hurt yourself by laughing OR falling off the chair ;)**

**Blackwolborg1996: Thanks for the review! Dumb abbey teaches them Russian, probably. Not English alphabets. XD.**

**Chibiusa100: Yeah, Hiro will go broke! Xd.**

**AnnieAngel93: (: Thanks for the review~ Hope her internet problems will be solved soon ): How's her tales of symphonia? XD**

**Marishka91: Heyo. Thanks for the long review (: Disney films are nice, XD. Yeah, Kai's so cute, neh? More of the family on the next chap, I wanna add in some plot… XD Phone calls are fun! Bryan will get into his husband role next chap, to save his own life… ):**

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Family: Tala is the wife!!!

1) Tala, Bryan, Daughter Spencer. (Oldest. Legal.)

2) Tala, Ray, Son Kai. (Second oldest from 'rape')

3) Tala, Brooklyn, Son Ian, (Third oldest from 'rape' in basement.)

4) Tala, Tyson, Daughter Daichi (Youngest currently, from 'rape' Coz Tyson ate the flavored condoms.)

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Snake is now Lacoya!! (:

Rat—Pikachii

Parrot – Sani

Bunny—Sonu

Cat—Miyako

Dog—Mika

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Kai wore his overly large uniform. His shirt slid down his right shoulder, showing smooth, creamy skin. The sleeves were too large and too long. His pants were baggy and long, so loose it threatened to fall off. He wore large circular spectacles on his nose, and his crimson eyes looked even bigger and cuter.

"AWWWW SO CUTE!" Tala glomped Kai. The uniform was Hiro's old one. Kai was going to school today. Waking up at 6a.m. was hell. Yet Kai looked so energetic… and pouty. It was because he was going to be separated from Tala. He was going to school with Tyson, Max, Hilary and Kenny. …Daichi popped up at the last minute and said he wanted to go, and now's he's being home schooled by Mr. Dickenson.

…He regretted his decision, of course. Kai was full force pouting. With puppy dog eyes. The thing is, he had no idea who to direct it to. "But… But I dun wanna go to school! Not without Tala!"

"You're a big boy now, Kai… Go on!" Tala fake sniffled. "Don't worry about me!" Kai looked back hesitantly when he reached the door. He spread open his arms and Tala hugged him fiercely. "I'll miss you like hell…" Tala kissed Kai's cheek. "Go out there and pwn the others at studies!!!"

"Yes, Mother!" Kai mock saluted, going out of the door. Tala turned around sharply, glaring at Ray. "So, let's hurry up and get studying so I can join my Kai!" Spencer sighed. Ian was yawning sleepily, and Bryan looked rather drowsy.

"Sure, so ABCs?" Ray asked.

"YEAH!! ABDs!!!" Tala roared. _…Long day ahead… _

"Tala. Say A…"

"Ay." Tala said obediently.

"B."

"Bee." Ian said, yawning.

"C."

"See." Spencer said boredly.

"D."

"Dee." Bryan said agitatedly. "What's the fucking point of this anyway? It feels dumb, sounds dumb, and makes us look dumb."

"Alphabets, you have them in Russian too, right? They're important. Okay, let's speed it up. F,G,H,I,J,K,L,M,N,O,P," Hiro said.

"Eff. For fuck. Gee. For genetically insane freak. Age. For Homicidal bastard. Ai. For I love Kai. Jay, for jerking… … … *ahem* Kay, for Kai. El, for… for… lecherous pervert. Am, for my husband. An, hm… N is for nerds like Kenny. Oh, is for Obese fatties. Pee, is in I.C.U.P Which is I See You Pee…" Tala replied after thinking very hard.

"…Did I tell you to say what it stood for?" Hiro asked in exasperation.

"No," Tala smiled sweetly. "You don't have to. I'm a very good boy who takes initiative, see? Tala Ivanov is a well mannered boy with a cheerful disposition. He volunteers to ask and answer questions and takes part actively in class discussions. He is liked by his peers. Tala has the potential to be better if he strives to be the best."

"…No one said that," Ray sighed. "Don't go off complimenting yourself. Now, shall we go on to maths?"

"I know maths! I know maths!" Tala cheered. "1x1 equals 1. 2x2 equals 4! 3x3 equals to 9! 1+1 equals 2! 1+2 equals 3!"

"Then?" Hiro prompted. Tala stayed silent.

"He only knows till three," Spencer sighed. "He likes the number three, you see. He only bothered learning around there before he got bored. 'Who cares abut numbers?' he said."

"Damn right. This crap is useless. All one needs to know is how to use a gun," Bryan said darkly. "Then we'll shoot all the people with this crapshit, annoying 'knowledge' to death." (Who wants to hire Bryan to kill your teachers? His services are quite cheap. I know I want to.)

Hiro slowly backed away from Bryan. "You have to, or you can't go to school with Kai. Kai went so you guys can come here."

"But I don't want to come here!" Bryan almost… _almost_ whined. "Tala is here!"

"Yes, darling?" Tala asked sweetly.

"SEE?! YOU SEE?!" Bryan went slightly mental. "I WOULDN'T HAVE COME IF NOT FOR IAN BLACKMAILING ME THAT I DIDN'T COME HE WOULD EXPOSE THE SECRET OF ME HAVING A SMALL-" Bryan stopped there abruptly, turning a deep shade of red.

"Small what?" Ian feigned innocence.

"Cock. He has a small one," Tala said offhandedly, smiling very, very sweetly. "Right, Bry? Not as much of a man you'd like us to think. But it's okay, I love you anyway, regardless of small or not."

"THAT'S IT! I'M GONNA KILL YOU, IVANOV!! THEN I'M GONNA GO BACK TO RUSSIA!" Bryan thundered.

"Hoho, since I'm gonna die anyway, I have one, last wish and some last words. Ray, you are not a cat, but a rat shunned by your kind, because your name was originally Rat instead of Ray. Hiro, I'm asking this very, very sincerely. …Want a threesome?" Tala asked.

Bryan, Ray and Hiro were now looking very murderous with dark auras, glaring daggers at Tala that cut into his very soul. "Now, now, don't fight for me, Boys." Tala grinned, before the three suddenly lunged at him, not caring when Tala dodged and they crashed into tables and sofas.

"DIEEEEE TALA!"

"NOOOO MY CHILDREN ARE GONNA GROW UP MOM-LESS!!!!"

*With Kai*

Kai fiddled with his collar. Oh his back slung a cute, gigantic pikachu bag, courtesy of Tala. He glanced at Tyson, Max, Hilary and Kenny who were chatting animatedly on the bus. He bit his lip and closed his eyes. He wanted to be back at the dojo with Tala. He couldn't help but feel that something was wrong.

"We're here, Kai!" Hilary announced. They went down the bus, and Kai found himself looking at a huge building swarming with students like ants. The thought was horrifying.

"Er, Kai, report to the office, it's right over there," Tyson pointed to a window. "Due to certain…eh, reasons, the principal doesn't like us, and so we won't go in there with you."

Kai nodded, closing his eyes. He clenched one of his hands into a fist. _Tala!!!!_ … He's desperately needed Tala. Yet on the exterior, he looked deadly calm. He started walking to the office, then pushed the door open slightly. He peeked in like a scared little child.

"Kai Hiwatari, right?" A man boomed. "Come in. I am the principal of the school,Mr. Idiot." He was an ageing man with no hair. No hair at all. His head shone under the light, and Kai stifled a laugh.

"Yes, I'm Kai,Mr. Idiot," Kai bit his lip hard to stop himself from laughing. "Nice to meet you."

"Welcome to our school. Here is your schedule and locker combination," handed him some papers. "If you want to, you can stay in the dormitories. Now, off you go. Your first class is starting."

"Yes, ," Kai bowed low, and walked out of the door. Once he was out… "AH HAHAHAHAHA!!!" Kai broke into hysteric laughter. "Mr. Idiot! Can you believe it, Tala? !" He stopped abruptly. _Oh right…Tala wasn't here._ Kai pouted. Tala better be studying hard or he'll bash him up.

Okay then, let's see… his first class was homeroom. That's easy. Kai found his class rather easily but… he didn't dare to go in. He was so nervous! He closed his eyes tightly and took a deep breath before walking in. What he didn't expect was…

A bucket of water dropping on his head. He dodged the bucket, but he still got wet. "Ah… What's this?" Kai lifted a dripping wet sleeve. Was he… being bullied? The thought brought tears to his eyes.

"Oh! Sorry! That was for the teacher…" A girl said. Kai glared at her with hurt, watery, crimson eyes that made everyone feel guilty. He walked to an empty seat and slammed his bag down, before resting his arms and head on the table, shielding his eyes from everyone. He hated school already…

The teacher walked in. "Eh?! What's with the atmosphere?! Cheer up, people! Oh, the new student is already here, eh? Can you come up and introduce yourself? I'm so happy to get a new student, ah ha ha, everyone, you must welcome him warmly!"

"They have already _'welcomed'_ me, sir," Kai smiles, putting emphasize on some words. "But for your benefit, I shall reintroduce myself. My name is Kai Hiwatari. _'Nice'_ to meet you all."

"Oh, so Kai-kun, huh? That's a really nice name," The teacher rambles on annoyingly. "I'm really glad to have a new student in my class, and I'm really happy that they have already welcomed you! I hope you like our school! Now, shall we start homeroom? Everyone take out your reading materials now!"

"Oh, I absolutely '_love' _the school," Kai mumbled, full of sarcasm. "Bloody hell." He fingered the chain of the necklace around his neck, sighing.

_Tala…_

**What? ****I'm a little busy, Kai!!**

_T…Tala?_ Kai couldn't believe it.

**Yeah? So, how's school, baby boy? **Tala sounded like he was out of breath.

_Sucky. The school sucks, the students suck, the teachers suck. And no doubt the activities will suck too._

**OMG! THEY'RE COMING!!!**

…_Tala. You wouldn't have go__tten into any trouble, have you? You're studying like you promised, right? _

**Ehhh. About that… Small technical problem****s… You see, I'm being chased by a agitated Ray, psychopathic Hiro, and murderous Bry, my hubbie. Ah, but I learned ABCs. So don't worry!**

_Tala. School isn't just ABCs… There's much more to it, you know… what the fuck did you do this time?_

**Hey, Tyson's there. How hard can it be? I kinda… annoyed them. Yeah. Nothing much, actually. They****'re just all so short-tempered! It's no fun. I miss you, Kai. You and your sexy ass.**

_Heh Heh. Then hurry up and study and come here! Or I'll live in the dormitories and take away your daily dosage of Kai._

**NOOOOOO. Be patient, kay? Be patient. Or I'll… I'll… take away your pikachu.**

…_I have a pikachu bag with me, dumbass._

**AHHH BRYAN GOT ME!!! OW OW OW. Oh, ****my baby boy, you have no idea how passionate your Father gets during…AHHHHH!! EH?! Hiro's joining in too! Ooh, threesome. … Ray's coming here… FOURSOME?! Ooh, be gentler, will ya? That hurts!!!**

…_I know they're hittin__g you right now, not having sex, you sicko. You twist everything into something perverted. _But in class, Kai was smiling. Tala had the ability to make him smile.

**Pain… I'm going down…**

Then it was silent. _…Tala? Tala? _Tala didn't reply.

*Tala's side*

Tala had been cornered. And boy, does Ray scratch hard. And Hiro hits hard. And Bryan _twists_ hard. The pain made him unable to think. "You guys are evilll," Tala muttered under his breath.

"You deserved it," Bryan said nonchalantly. Tala tried sitting up and winced in pain. He fell back down. "That's it, I'm dying, tell my baby boy Kai that I love him, tell my children to take good care of themselves, tell my husband that I can have sex no longer!" Tala said dramatically, then went into a coughing fit.

Suddenly, Locoya, the snake, came up from under Tala's shirt, hissing at them. _Hisssss… you guyssss dare attack my owner and reduce him to this pitiful sssstate?_

"We don't speak snake!" Ray shouted as the snake slithered closer and closer to them, baring its fangs. Seeing the commotion, the dog and the cat, Mika and Miyako came out to join the fun. They started chasing each other about, crashing into stuff. Bryan's eyes widened. How many of these things were there?

"Bryan fucked Tala! OMG! So many times!" The parrot, Sani, squawked. The bunny, Sonu, jumped about and tried to get the parrot, eyes red and bloodshot like it was crazy. "WHAT THE FUCK! HOW MANY OF THESE THINGS ARE THERE?!?!" Bryan thundered.

"6. Excluding Tyson's rats…"Once Hiro said that, Rats swarmed out of Tyson's room, snarling and chittering angrily. "Oh no… IT'S THE INVASION OF THE ANIMALS!!!" As if commanded, the animals suddenly charged at Hiro and Ray. Lacoya slithered over to Bryan, who held a gun out warningly.

"AHAHA! REVENGE IS SWEET!" Tala laughed manically. "It's my win!!"

Super crazy evil hyper psycho pets GO!!

Miyako!! The clumsy kitty!!

Mika, the hyper doggy!

Sonu, the savage bunny!

Sani, the evil parrot!

Lacoya, the scary snake!

Pikachii, the cute rat!!

Super crazy evil hyper psycho pets GO!!

Go beat the crap out of Tyson's dojo!

Super crazy evil hyper psycho pets GO!!

Why did we buy them all?

…That was fun to write. "ARGGGHHH!" Ray and Hiro were attacked by Tala's little army. "Now, Bry," Tala smiled sweetly, "If you don't want to die, you have to…promise me something…"

*back with Kai*

Homeroom was unsurprisingly boring. Kai was almost dry now. Thank god it was normal water… A furry head poked out from his collar. Pikachii? Kai smiled and kissed the furry thing's head. Pikachii rubbed his cheek against Kai's.

He walked out of the classroom, but he felt himself pulled by the collar. He was thrown violently into a storeroom. Who the hell…? Kai looked up and his eyes met with deep, scary purple eyes. Hell, the guy was almost twice Kai's size! Kai was even smaller sitting on the floor."What do you want?" Kai asked cautiously, eyes narrowing.

"I want… you," 'Guy' said slyly. Kai decided to name the person Guy until further notice. "I'm not for sale, nor am I a freebie. I'm not an object. Now, excuse me," Kai stood up and tried to side-step him. He couldn't. The feigned a left step then ran right, rushing to the door. It was locked!

This is not good… Kai chewed on his lower lip nervously. "You're such a beauty, having rubies for eyes, such smooth, elegant features…that silky two-toned hair, and your cuteness… makes you way too desirable…" Guy smirked, cornering Kai. Kai's eyes darted about, looking for an escape route. He found…none. FUCK!

Guy pushed Kai into the wall and kissed him, or more like, ravaged him. Kai made sounds of protest, weakly pushing the other guy away. _Get the fuck away from me, bastard! _Guy started tugging at Kai's collar. Where was Pikachii? Oh, it dropped out when he was slammed inside. Flustered squeaks were heard from outside the door.

Guy violently tore off Kai's necklace, the golden chain that was connected to a silver wolf, throwing it on the ground. He popped a few buttons off Kai's shirt aggressively. Kai's eyes darkened considerably. He kicked Guy's place where the sun don't shine, and Guy dropped onto the ground in pain.

"_N_**o** o_n_e…" Kai's voice sounded strangely melodic of many people's voices. "**t**_o_uc**h**_e_s **o**u_r_ _K_**a**i." Kai wiped off the white foundation that covered his once blue tattoos. They were now red. A maniacal grin found its way on his face, then he broke open the door. "_S_ay**o**n_a_r**a**, **p**_a_th_e_**t**i_c_ h_u_**m**_a_n," Kai said sadistically, as Guy burst into flames, howling in pain. Kai laughed in amusement, stepping out and closing the door behind him.

"**N**_o_w…_w_**a**sn'_t_ t_h_**a**t **f**_u_n?" Kai grinned.

*with Tala*

_Kai… oh no…_Tala thought worriedly. _Could it be…_

_

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XP: I had a minigame, but deleted it. Dammit. Oh, it was a word game. ): It was quite 's now a plot… amongst the randomness… not as funny, but hey, what school does to you, does to me. Review!!!


	11. Car ride and fire!

XP: I have flu, I have sore throat, I have fever of 38.8C and I have three days MC. But don't worry, I won't pass my virus to you, but I'll heal better if you review (:

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**For this chapter, pets:**

Snake: Locoya

Rat: Pikachii

**Family:**

Father: Bryan

Mother: Tala

Eldest Daughter: Spencer

2nd Son: Kai

3rd Son: Ian

4th daughter: Daichi

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YAYYY REVIEWS!

**Blackwolborg1996: Cool, you know Russian. O.o.**

**Sasukechica: lol. Thanks for the review. XD. Psychoooo Kaiiiii**

**Sonu: Yo! Your name is so easy to type out, haha. Glad you were laughing (: But don't wear out your funny bone now, if that's even possible. Yeah, your bunny is cute (: But it's not in this chapter though. Too bad. ): Yaay, become more like Tala!! Hm, poet… don't wanna be. XD. I'm dragging the story on so you won't know the significance of the necklaces yet.**

**Mika: They have no more money. They need all the money to rebuilt the dojo and maintain that many pets! XD. Yup yup, our Tala loves to wind people up. Err, 'bazzar' change? Bizarre right? LOL. Kai went psycho in the end. Tala felt it.**

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Tala started crying tears of blood. It was so sudden and so scary that Bryan was worried. "Hey, Ivanov, are you okay? What's wrong? Did I do anything wrong? Do you need anything? Are you in pain?" Bryan asked. Tala stared at him with wavering, fearful eyes. He let out a screech of pain.

"K-Kai…" Tala managed to croak out.

"What's wrong with Kai?" Bryan questioned. He knew from long years of being part the Blitzkrieg boys that Tala and Kai had some sort of telepathy.

"He's too sexy…that my eyes are bleeding" Tala joked weakly, before pleading, "Please… I need to go to him…" He clutched onto Bryan's shirt. Spencer rushed over to the two of them and started fussing over the blood coming out from Tala's eyes. Ian watched on, cowering at the side, afraid. This had happened before, but Ian wasn't there to witness it.

"Get in the car," Bryan barked at Spencer and Ian, scooping Tala into his arms. "We're gonna go visit our little Kai." Ian took the car keys. Spencer nodded and smiled at Ian reassuringly. No one cared if it was Hiro's car.

"I wanna come!" Daichi popped up from one of the bedrooms. "I wanna ride in the car!!!"

"Then, this is a family outing," Bryan growled. "Come on, hurry up!" Everyone rushed into the car. Ian and Spencer exchanged glances while Daichi jumped up and down on his seat excitedly. They sat at the back row, while Bryan was the driver and Tala sat beside him, head resting on Bryan's shoulders.

"Hey Daddy…" Ian started nervously, "I don't remember you knowing how to drive… do you have a driver's license?"

"Nope," Bryan said darkly, "Better fasten your seat belts, children, coz daddy's gonna smash every single car in sight." Ian 'eeped' in fright, Spencer looked worried over Tala, Daichi was still as excited as ever, while Tala just seemed tired. "How do I start this goddamned thing?!" Bryan screamed angrily.

Tala reached over, turned the car keys, and pulled a lever. "Shut up and drive, dear husband," Tala said in a threatening tone, stepping hard on Bryan's right foot, which was on the pedal. The car started driving at an insane speed.

Bryan kept his words. He really smashed every car in sight. Some cars skidded and smashed into houses, trees, drains… some cars started burning, some people were seriously injured… but Bryan didn't care.

"SPEED LIMIT BRY! YOU'RE OVER THE SPEED LIMIT!!!" Spencer shouted.

"WHAT?!" Bryan couldn't hear Spencer due to the air whooshing by their ears.

"AAAH! RED LIGHT! STOP! PEOPLE ARE WALKING!!!!" Ian screamed. Bryan turned the car wheel as hard as he could, and they swerved. The car tilted sideways at a very dangerous level. Bryan smashed into more cars.

"Many drivers started cursing them, but did Bryan care? Nooo. Because Bryan's such a bad boy," Tala said as though making a report on tv. "Ooh, he ignored yet another red light! He crashed into more cars! If not for the seat belts, we'd be flung out of the car!"

"Shut up, Tala," Bryan growled. "I'm not the one who wanted to see Kai suddenly… oh, we're here." Tala eyed Bryan with a weird look.

Crashing all the cars in sight,

Crazy Bryan driving past your sight

Faster than the speed of light

Bryan obeys no speeding rules

Damage caused with curses drawed

Smashing sounds and screaming voices

Everyone beware of psycho Bryan

The idiot who knows none

The one who doesn't know

How to start the freaking car

The one who doesn't know how to stop

He's gonna drive us into the school

All this damage caused today

Cannot be paid with all our lives.

"STOP BRYAN!! BRAKES!!!" Ian hollered, squeezing his eyes shut tightly. "Oh, dear lord, I am never, ever, going to own a car, or be a passenger in a car father's driving…" Daichi screamed, "WOO HOO! THIS IS THE BEST CAR RIDE EVER!!"

"Which one is the brake?" Bryan asked suddenly.

"WHAT?!" The normally calm Spencer freaked out. "YOU MEAN YOU DON'T KNOW?!"

"Yeah, well, it's not my fault that I wasn't born with these kinda knowledge…" Bryan rolled his eyes.

"KEEP YOUR EYES ON THE ROAD!!!" Spencer shouted as Ian started putting his hands together and praying to god, even though he wasn't religious.

"Alright, sheesh, women," Bryan sighed. They were driving straight towards the school!! Towards the school door, actually.

"AAAAHHHHH!!!!" Ian and Spencer screamed together, while Daichi screamed, "WHEEEEE!"

Tala stepped hard on Bryan's left foot, but it was too late, they went flying through the glass door of the school, spinning a few times. The sound of glass breaking was heard. Spencer had fainted, and Ian had a dazed look on his face. Daichi was as high as ever.

"WOO!" Bryan cheered. "We're alive!! Cars are the best things humans ever made man!"

"Am I the only one capable around here?" Tala muttered under his breath. Oh wow, he and Bryan sort of switched roles. Tala opened the car door then slammed it shut. Tala left hurriedly, looking for Kai. Bryan pushed at his car door…it didn't open. He tried again.

"…How do I open this damn thing?" Bryan asked angrily. "TALA!!! COME BACK!!!!"

Tala kept on running, then he saw the tiny rat that was spray painted to look like a Pikachu, Pikachii. "Oh! Pikachii! Lead me to Kai!" The rat squeaked and led him away.

***with Kai***

"**H**e**h**_e_h**e**_h_e**h**e!" Kai cackled, flinging a poor, innocent student into the wall. "_N_**o** o**n**e… _**h**__u_**r**_t_s _o_u**r** _K_**a**i!" He continued on his rampage, and he saw the girl that poured water on his head. A malicious grin spread across his features. With a snap of his fingers, the girl's hair was on fire.

"Kyaaa!!!" The girl shrieked, clutching at her head, trying to put out the fire. But it was too bad. Afterall, the fire was inextinguishable; it was the flames of the phoenixes. Kai laughed at the pitiful plight of the girl, clutching his face with one hand. "**T**_h_is _i_**s **s**o**_o_**o** _a__**m**_u**s**_i_**n**g! **H**o_w_ d_o_ **y**_o_u _l__i_**k**_e_ **t**_h_**a**t, _p_**a**t_h_**e**ti_c_ **h**u_m_a**n**?" Screams were his answer.

Everyone fled from the person whose body was surrounded by flames, afraid that they would be attacked. Kai's feet lifted off the ground, and he floated, fireballs in hand. "**H**_a_h**a**_h_a! _R_**u**_n_, r_u_**n**!" He shot them randomly, books, worksheets, clothes, all of them weren't spared as the phoenix's majestic flames burned with higher intensity and area.

"No! Kai! Stop!" Tala panted, out of breath. "Wolborg! Clear up these flames!" From his hands an icy wind blew, extinguishing all the flames. "Kai!!! It's me! Tala!"

"**T**_a_…l**a**? Kai questioned. He smiled and landed softly on the ground, padding over to Tala.

"Yes, I'm Tala," Tala smiled weakly. He took off his necklace and tied it around Kai's throat. Kai's eyes brightened slightly. Tala fell to the floor feebly. "Hey, what's wrong with you?" Kai asked in a low tone. He nudged Tala's stomach with his shoe.

"I'm okay… just find the other necklace, will ya?" Tala's voice could barely be heard. Kai frowned. "Hn…" He tied the necklace around his and Tala's wrist. Tala looked at Kai in confusion. Kai raised an eyebrow, a look that asked, 'what?'

"Why did you…" Tala eyed the necklace.

"Couldn't just leave you lying there, could I?" Kai said gruffly and looked away. Tala pushed himself to his feet and smiled. Sure, this wasn't the cute Kai, but this cold Kai was still Kai. And Tala loved his Kai.

They both closed their eyes together and searched for it. They opened their eyes again, and ice blue met fiery red. "Let's go then," Tala smiled. "Hn," Kai replied, leading the way. When they went there, there was a… burnt corpse there.

"Err, Kai, did you do that?" Tala asked.

"Hn," Kai replied.

"Bad Kai! You're not supposed to burn people! I'm a bad mother!!!" Tala sobbed.

Kai sweatdropped and sidestepped the corpse, pulling Tala along. He picked up the fallen necklace of wolborg and put it around Tala. "Hiwatari? Why am I chained up with you?" Tala said snidely. Kai lifted one shoulder up as a half-shrug.

Tala unchained the dranzer necklace that bound them and put it around his neck, glaring at Kai, who glared back. They walked back like that, not breaking contact. They bumped into Tyson, Max, Hilary and Kenny.

"Oh, hey Kai, hey Tala," Tyson greeted.

They both turned their glares onto Tyson, who shrank back. Everyone took a subconscious step back. "Someone turn them back," Hilary whispered. Max stuttered, "I'll… I'll go get the Blitzkrieg boys!"

"A **blitzkrieg** is a fast and intense military attack that takes the enemy by surprise and is intended to achieve a very quick victory," Kenny said suddenly.

***with Bryan* **

"Bloody fuck! How do these things work?!" Bryan, in frustration, smashed the door off the car. "Aah, that's better…" He stepped out. Spencer, who now woke up, pressed something and opened his door. Daichi and Ian climbed out after him.

"How… how did you do that?" Bryan asked in awe.

"You are so stupid sometimes, father," Spencer rolled his eyes. Ian didn't make it out in time and he puked in the car. "You okay, lil' bro?" Spencer asked worriedly.

"Yeah… peachy," Ian grinned weakly. "just a little dizzy from the car trip."

"Again!" Daichi cheered. "Again!! That was great!"

Just then, Max rushed towards them, supremely fast, powered by sugar. "COME QUICK!! Turn Kai and Tala back to normal!!! They're so freaking scary right now!!" Bryan nodded and took off. Spencer stayed to take care of Ian, while Daichi was still ecstatic over the fun ride they had.

"TALAAA!!" Bryan roared, lunging at Tala. Tala, taken by surprise, was smashed onto the floor painfully. "What's the big idea, Kuznetsov?!" Tala screamed indignantly. Bryan roared again and smashed his forehead onto Tala's. Hard. Tala was knocked out instantly. He ignored his bleeding forehead.

Kai was now prepared in a battle stance, two small daggers in hand. Where the hell did he get those? Bryan charged at him, a fist punching out straight, Kai spun on his left foot, dodging the blow skillfully, but Bryan was not done yet. He kicked out and tried to trip Kai, but Kai placed a hand on Bryan's shoulder and with a push, jumped over Bryan, spinning in the air and landing gracefully.

Bryan did not give up. He turned around and ran towards Kai again, this time kicking out first at the side of Kai's ribs, Kai blocked it with his arm, the other hand supporting it so there would be less impact. Bryan punched out, and Kai ducked, sweeping at Bryan's feet. He was unsuccessful, as Bryan regained his balance. Kai jumped back to ready himself again.

Kai tossed one of the daggers at Bryan, and Bryan swiftly moved his head to the right. The blade missed him by a hair's width. Kai smirked. Bryan growled, and did a split-step, his arm hitting upwards as an uppercut. His fist connected with Kai's jaw, and Kai flew in the air. Kai dropped down and slide backwards on his tip-toes, a hand on the ground to steady his movements. His tongue was bleeding because he accidentally bit his tongue during the last blow.

How careless of him. Kai swiped off the blood, leaning on one leg casually, then suddenly, in a flash, he was in front of Bryan. He stabbed the dagger into Bryan's stomach, the back of his free hand pushing the back of the dagger so it would go in deeper.

"Urgh!" Bryan coughed out blood. So Kai was stronger than Tala in combat… but Tala preferred guns. Bryan had thought of that as the more dangerous one, but he was wrong. Someone hit the back of Kai's neck and Kai slumped onto the floor, motionless. It was Spencer.

"You okay, Dad?" Spencer asked, lifting up Bryan's shirt to clean and bandage his wound. Bryan grunted in response. Ian went over to Kai and Tala cautiously and gingerly took off their necklaces and exchanged them.

"Oww… my head hurts…" Tala whined. "Actually, my whole body hurts… Kai, are you okay?"

"I can taste my blood," Kai said thoughtfully. "And I'm pretty sure my jaw is bruised…" They got up painfully, leaning against each other. Then together, they asked, "What the fuck happened?"

"Long story, a story we'd rather not tell," Ian sighed. "Come on, let's go home, I'm dead tired."

"Wait for a while, Ian," Tala smirked. "I remember a promise Bryan made in exchange for the life my dear snake Lacoya did not take." Bryan turned very, very pale. Kai blinked curiously. Tala winked at him.

"Alright, Ivanov," Bryan said hoarsely. He walked off, and everyone looked at his retreating back inquiringly. Suddenly, they could hear Bryan's voice sounding in all of the speakers around school.

"Ahem, attention please. I am… Bryan Kuznetsov, the father of Kai Hiwatari. Anyone who dares to bully, upset or anger him will die!! And I… will take care of my family of fours kids, and my wife, Tala Ivanov… AND WHY THE FUCK DO YOU HAVE SO MANY AFFAIRS AND PETS HUH?! DID I ALLOW YOU TO?"

"Hey, the last part wasn't of the deal," Tala grumbled. "But oh well, good enough."

"And I… I… love my family. Especially my very hot wife, Tala. WHY DO YOU ALWAYS MAKE ME SAY THAT?!" Bryan growled. Everyone covered their ears from the screeching of mics.

"Careful of your wounds, Bryan!" Spencer shouted.

Tala smiled very sweetly in satisfaction. "That's a good boy, Bryan… Now, children, shall we go home?"

"I still have school," Kai piped up.

"Fuck school. School is useless," Tala retorted.

"Language, Tala," Spencer warned. "You're a bad mother."

"NOOOO I've failed in my duty!!!" Tala fake sobbed dramatically. "What will my husband think!? What will my kids think?!"

I am so freaking sad,

My husband ignores me,

My kids despises me,

No one wants to rape me,

I am all alone.

I am so freaking sad,

Because of my vulgarness,

Because I am not female,

Because I have no boobs,

Because I am too hot.

"Fine, fine, you're a good mother," Ian rolled his eyes. Tala started smiling very brightly. "Let's go then! Oh, the car is covered with Ian's puke, and it was sooo many dents in it, accompanied by a broken door. Luckily it's not ours, but Hiro's," Tala shook his head sadly. "Ah, better him than us, though!"

***To Hiro* **

"WHERE THE FUCK IS MY BEAUTIFUL, TEN THOUSAND DOLLARS CAR?!" Hiro screamed.

***Back to school***

Kai grinned at that. "Well, I'd like to see his reaction when he finds out... But since it's already trashed… let's… paint it pink and brown!!!"

"Hurray! Pink and brown!" Daichi screamed. Bryan finally came back. And since he was in a bad mood, he kicked the car a couple of times, making more dents. The family of Bryan started painting the car pink and brown.

"Since we're Bryan's family… we should have his last name!" Kai chirped. "I'm Kai Kuznetsov!"

"Ian Kuznetsov, reporting for duty!" Ian mock saluted before painting once more.

"Spencer Kuznetsov," Spencer said a bit tiredly.

"Daichi Kuznetsov!!" Daichi said loudly.

"Tala Kuznetsov!!" Tala exclaimed very proudly, then… "Oh fuck, this is too slow." Tala poured the brown paint…that seriously looked like shit, over the car. Kai mimicked his movements, but he poured the pink one. The paint covered the brown color shit drawings Daichi drew, the pink barney Ian drew, the brown pikachu Kai drew and the pink flowers Spencer drew.

The car was now half pink and half brown. Using their fingers, Tala wrote "Tala Kuznetsov was here~ 3" while Kai wrote, "I'm Kai Kuznetsov and I love pikachus! :3"

"I'm Daichi Kuznetsov and WOOO was your car fun! ^-"

"Ian Kuznetsov here, we trashed your already ugly car and made it prettier. XD"

"Spencer Kuznetsov was happily drawing flowers but Tala had to destroy it ):"

After they left their mark, the happy family, and well, except Bryan who was fuming mad and ashamed, but yeah, they went home to Tyson's dojo happily together. With their pets welcoming them at the door. Pikachii was home too! Wootz, happy ending. Well, except for Hiro, maybe. And the principal with the trashed school. And the guy who died. And the girl that now has no hair. Blah. Blah. Blah.

"NOOOO! MY BEAUTIFUL CARRRRR~!!!" Somewhere out there, Hiro screamed.

* * *

XP: I went back, realized there was no song, and just randomly inserted one in. The Tala song took 2 minutes. Coz that was freaking easy. LOL. People should gimme ideas. I'm running out, my brain is fried. And then, realized I should put one more song, and went to put it, but halfway, my mum called me away, so it kinda broke the song into two. LOL. …The fighting part took a while. XD.

My songs don't really have a tune? LOL.

…**REVIEW!** Coz I luvvv those reviews :D


	12. camera ninja! food fight?

XP: YO! Long time no update manz! I'll take longer to update from now on, you know, school and all T-T. And my com got virus so sometimes cannot on and due to some complications as school im very, very stressed right now. And oh, I'm gonna go to camp for three days on 27 jan, to 29 jan. JOY MAN. (note sarcasm)

Anyone interested to know, I'm learning about Egypt in school, like what the hell, anyway Egyptians worship cats coz cats jump over coffins, and that is like, disrespectful, but the cat won't listen to their bidding to stop, and they do whatever they want, and so the Egyptians think the cats have some sort of 'power' that makes them have something over humans. Yeah. And I personally thinks cats are fluffy and cute.

* * *

**Someone reviewed wrongly? What the hell? It's kinda insulting. Well, I felt insulted anyway. LOL. It's like, what the hell, I've been looking forward to reviews, and you review wrongly. Is my story not worth of a read? I know you apologized, i know, but... ): Lol yeah, I'm being a bitch here, but bear with me ppl! I LOVE REVIEWS!**

**No Sonu this time… ):**

**Marishka91: Thanks for the review as always! (:**

**black-ice-demon-1996: Oh, you changed your name? XD Thanks for the advice, I really like their songs (:**

**ImmortalKiky: YO MAN!!! I MISSED YA!!!! LOL!**

**chocolatexloverx16: hey, thanks for the review, yeah? XD**

**

* * *

_  
_**

_Family: Tala is the wife!!!_

_1) Tala, Bryan, Daughter Spencer. (Oldest. Legal.)_

_2) Tala, Ray, Son Kai. (Second oldest from 'rape')_

_3) Tala, Brooklyn, Son Ian, (Third oldest from 'rape' in basement.)_

_4) Tala, Tyson, Daughter Daichi (Youngest currently, from 'rape' Coz Tyson ate the flavored condoms.)_

_

* * *

  
_

Snake—Lacoya

Rat—Pikachii

Parrot – Sani

Bunny—Sonu

Cat—Miyako

Dog—Mika

* * *

Kai blinked owlishly at the digital camera he 'borrowed' from Hiro. Meaning, he just took it without asking. He turned the camera to himself and did a 'V' sign with his free hand, then he clicked the button on top. He turned the camera to look at the picture and smiled. It looked really adorable.

He went on his picture hunt again. He took a picture of Sonu, who twitched its nose at the flash of light, suddenly becoming docile and sweet. He took another picture, and with another flash, the rabbit was baring its fangs and snarling again. How confusing…but fun. Kai kept on flashing the light.

"Kai dear~ What are you doing?" Tala hollered from somewhere unknown, until he ran towards Kai and tackle glomped him. Kai smiled and took a picture of the two of them together. Tala blinked at the sudden light. "What's that, my baby boy?"

"It's a camera!" Kai announced with unmasked glee. He scrolled the previous pictures he took, and Tala grasped tightly at the camera, especially the when Kai showed him the one he took of himself. "Holy shit. Your cuteness can be captured!? WOOOOOO IM GONNA STEAL A CAMERA AN' TAKE PICTURES OF MY KAISY!!!" Tala rushed off. Kai sweatdropped at that.

Kai wandered over to Miyako and Mika. He grabbed the kitty first and took a picture with it, holding it up to his face. Then, he gently set it down and hugged Mika in his arms, taking another picture. Both of them had a dazed look with glazed over eyes due to the flash of light. It was really cute. Kai walked off and stared at Sani, who stared back at him. It squawked. Kai took a picture. "Holy shit!" Sani cried out.

Kai found Lacoya under the sofa. He took a picture, and the snake hissed at the sudden light. Kai smiled when Pikachii ran out from his shirt and onto his shoulder. He took a picture together, he touching his cheek to the rat that looked like a pikachu. Now that the pets were done…

"What are you doing, Kai?" Ray asked curiously.

"Homework, I have to take pictures of my family," Kai replied as he raised the camera and took a picture of Ray. Ray shrieked and jumped back in fright from the white light of death. _My dad_, Kai made a mental note. Kai continued his journey. He took a picture of Tyson and Daichi pigging out on popcorn. _My other father and sister._

Kai padded over to Ian, who was taking a nap, and took a picture. "Huh? Whaa?" Ian woke up. "Oh nothing, little bro, go back to sleep," Kai said soothingly. Ian closed his eyes once more. He took a picture of Spencer who was reading a cook book. "Who's there?!" Spencer growled when there was a flash of light. Kai hid himself immediately.

When Spencer couldn't see anyone, he went back to reading, thinking it was his imagination. _Close call_. Kai walked to Bryan, hiding the camera behind his back. "Daddy, I have something to show you," Kai said sweetly.

"What is it?" Bryan asked gruffly. He no longer denied he was their dad. It was too tiresome, and they would just gang up on him. "Oh, nothing," Kai continued airily. "Just a little…" Kai took out the camera suddenly and took a photo. "…photo." The thing is, Bryan hated photos. Somehow, his hair was translucent in photographs. "…Hiwatari…YOU DIE!!!!" Bryan got up and started chasing Kai.

"AHHHHHHH!!!!" Kai screamed. "MOMMY! MOMMY! DADDY IS BULLYING ME!"

"He's just playing with you, dear," Tala popped out from no where. Actually, from Bryan's cupboard, of all places. "Bry-bry is a big softie at heart actually... the poor guy doesn't know how to play with his children since he had no childhood…"

"You had no childhood too," Bryan growled. "How else did you turn out to be so fucked up?"

"Ooh, the 'F' word," Kai pretended to be amazed.

"I'm so hurt!" Tala started crying. "He said I was fucked up! I know I am! So many people fuck meeeee! It's not my fault that I'm nice to rape!" Bryan rolled his eyes and gave up on trying to fight with them. He retreated to his own room. Kai and Tala exchanged looks. Then, they heard the shower running. Devious smiled spread on their faces.

Kai, as though by magic, took a hair stick from Tala's ear, then started picking at the lock of the bathroom. A soft click was heard. They looked at each and started counting mentally. _One…two…three_! They flung open the door, and Kai readied his camera.

"OH, BRYAN HONEY!!!" Tala screamed, flinging open the curtains to hug Bryan, not caring if he was soapy.

"WHAT THE FUCK!!!" Bryan thundered. Too late. Kai took a picture of Bryan naked, with Tala hugging him. _Father and Mother getting it on_, Kai captioned in his head. Well, better run now. "Run, Tala! Hurry!" They both ran away, jumping over random obstacles. They ran up the stairs at an alarming five steps at a time, finally reaching their door and closing it with a slam.

Kai locked the door hurriedly while Tala slumped onto the floor in exhaustion. "COME BACK HERE!" They could hear Bryan. Kai visualized Bryan holding a towel around his waist with one hand and running up the stairs. His hair was still soapy…and then…._Slam_. "OUCH! FUCK IT!" Bryan cursed. Kai deduced that his father had slipped on the water he dripped on the stairs and fell down…

"KYAAA!" Hilary's scream… that must mean Bryan's towel has fallen off.

"Wow, so small," Max commented. Only more evidence that Bryan's towel has fallen off. They were commenting about his manhood. "Even I am bigger!" Daichi screamed in horror. Man, if only Tala was down there…

"Daichi, you're my little sister, you're not supposed to have one," Ian retorted.

"I LIKE MY MAN HOW HE IS, THANK YOU!" Tala shouted down with his eyes closed. "SIZE DOESN'T MATTER!"

"FUCK YOU, IVANOV!" Bryan shouted up. "I'M NOT YOUR MAN!"

"YEAH! FUCK ME, TAKE ME NOW!!" Tala hollered down. "THOUGH I DOUBT I WOULD FEEL ANYTHING, WITH YOUR COCK SO TINY! LEARN SOMETHING FROM YOUR SON, KAI!!"

"What's it got to do with me?" Kai tilted his head to the side in confusion, gluing pictures into his journal, titled 'my family'. Who was missing? The pets, the kids were all taken… oh, Brooky. His pikachu-crazed friend. Well, he'd just illegally download a picture from photobucket. Ooh, look there, a fanart of Brooky fucking Garland… use that then.

"You guys are so vulgar," Ray shook his head. "That is why you should go to school and get an education…"

"My car… my beautiful car…" Hiro emo-ed in the corner, recalling bad memories. They could hear Bryan cussing in Russian, walking back into the bathroom, saying how his back hurt.

"Want me to wash your back for you, dear?" Tala shouted down sweetly.

"NO!!! FUCK OFF!" Bryan growled.

"Need a backrub, father?" Ian and Daichi asked. Bryan snarled and started going psycho. He finally broke! "AAAAHHHHH!!!" Everyone downstairs screamed as Bryan picked up the sofa and threw it, forgoing his towel. And so, Bryan was stark naked. Not a very pretty sight, actually.

Woo, the sounds of destruction again. It got all the pets hyped up, except maybe Pikachii whose permanent house was the inside of Kai's shirt. "MEOWWW!!! RUFF RUFF! HISSSSSS! BOINGGGG! YAY FUCK! FUCK!" In order, Miyako, Mika, Lacoya, Sonu and Sani. Then a frightened squeak from Kai's shirt.

Kai peeked at Tala, who was going through a camera of his own. "Whose one is that?" Kai asked, scooting closer to Tala.

"Spencer's," Tala grinned. Kai stared at all the pictures. Pictures of Kai's ass, Bryan's cock, the inside of Ray's shirt, showing the chest, Daichi's butt, Hilary's boobs, Tyson's fat stomach that was not covered, Hiro's butt crack, Max's naked back, Ian without a shirt, Spencer with only underpants on, and the last one… Tala's own ass.

"TALA! WHEN DID YOU TAKE THESE!? WHY DID I NOT NOTICE?!" Kai freaked.

I'm a ninjaja, I'm unseen!

I'm one with the invisible force, you can't see me

I'm a ninja, I sneak behind your back

You won't know it's me, ya can't see me!

Dadidadida batata. Dadidadida batata.

I'm a ninja, the supreme, watch my shurikens!

I'm a ninja, you see, oh wait you can't see!

I blend in with the surroundings, ya can't see me!

I'm a nin-ja-ja, nin-ja-ja. Nin-ja-ja!

Watch me pose my super cool moves,

Watch me catch things with chop sticks,

Watch me disappear behind fumes!

Watch me pwn your ass, oh cool!

Wootz wootz! Dadidadida batata. Dadidadida batata.

I'm Tala, I'm like, the last surviving ninja!

I'm so hot, I mean, look at my ass!

OMG, being a ninja is so damn fun,

Maybe you should also, be one too!!!!

WOOO THAT WAS FUN. And didn't take much effort, so yeah! "RAWRRR!!!" Bryan continued on his rampage. Kai sweatdropped at Tala's song. "Talaaaaa, you're so pervertedddd," Kai whined.

"Aaaand you're so cuteeee," Tala grinned, pinching Kai's cheeks. "I'm gonna post these on the internet~"

"…Including my ass?" Kai asked, receiving an earnest nod from Tala. Kai pouted and smacked Tala. "I'm gonna ignore you now!" Kai cried childishly.

"Awww, but Kai~ you have a hot ass, it should be shared with the worldddd~" Tala whined. Kai covered his ears, pretending to be unable to hear. Then, he walked out of the room. Tala pouted. "AAHHH FATHER NOOOOO DON'T HIT MEHHHH!" Kai squealed and ran off. Tala sighed and decided he was hungry… He went to the kitchen, then an idea popped up in his head. Why don't he…

"Taaaalaaaa, what are you doing?" Kai couldn't be angry at Tala for wrong, and he would go search for Tala again because he missed him.

"Remember how I sang 'I'm so hot I melt ice cubes?'" Tala smirked. "I'm testing out that little theory right now. And look, it's true!" It was true that the ice cube was melting in Tala's hand. But… wouldn't it melt in anyone's hand?! Kai sweatdropped and took an ice cube of his own. It started to melt too.

"Ooh, you're hot till you melt ice cubes too," Tala said in awe.

"Tala, even Mr Dickenson would be able to melt these ice cubes…" Kai sighed, then brightened up. "Hey, why don't we compete to see who can hold onto the use cube longer?"

"You're on!!" Tala replied in almost competitiveness. Their faces became blank as they concentrated on their ice cubes. Then, Daichi came crashing in. "Hey, what are you guys doing, man?" Daichi asked.

"AAHHH SO COLDDDD!" Kai and Tala shouted at the same time, throwing their half melted ice cubes at each other.

"I wanna join!!!" Daichi screamed, and then it became an ice cube throwing competition. Of course Tala and Kai joined forces and ganged Daichi. "AAAH UNFAIR!!! Two-on-one!"

"Damn clichéd, but dear, all's fair in war and war," Tala said smugly.

"In love and war, Tala, love and war," Kai corrected in exasperation. Then, at the same time, suddenly, they lobbed ice cubes at Daichi again. Then they turned to each other and tried to put ice cubes into each other's clothing, Kai wanting to put ice cubes in Tala's pants and Tala wanting to be ice cubes in Kai's shirt.

"AH! COLD! COLD!" They both screamed, jumping about and trying to get ice cubes out of the clothing. Daichi laughed openly at them. "Haha, suckers!!!" Then he ran out, and then…he faced the wrath of naked Bryan. "NOOOOOO I'M INNOCENT! PLEASE STOP!! AH THE PAIN THE PAIN!

Kai and Tala looked at each other, then shrugged. Well, while they were still in the kitchen… Tala took a bag of flour and Kai took a bag of beans. "FOOD FIGHT!!!" They declared together, throwing whatever they could find. Which included, flour, beans, eggs, oil, ketchup, random pieces of vegetable, a fish, which Miyako rushed in and ate, hot dogs, which Mika loved, and well… they even poured oil on each other.

In the end, they were both sticky and slimy. "To Hiro's bed!" Tala announced, grinning.

"To Hiro's bed!" Kai chimed, echoing. They ran/skidded over and both jumped onto the bed and rolled around, successfully cleaning themselves of goop and dirtying Hiro's bed instead. "HURRAY!" They chirped together, jumping off the bed. Tala took some sticky stuff out of Kai's hair and tasted it.

"Hey, it's not bad," Tala's eyes widened in surprise.

"Really?" Kai licked Tala's fingers. "Hey, you're right. We discovered a new recipe!!!"

"And Kai is the plate for the dish," Tala grinned. Kai pouted at that.

"OH SWEET HOLY MOTHER OF JESUS! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!" Hiro shouted, standing at the door way.

"Hey fucker," Tala smiled brightly. "We decorated the bed for you."

"AAAAHHHHH!" Hiro screamed. Oh no, he's going crazy… the bar is going to the danger zone… Tala decided to give him a little help. "Want a threesome?" _Snap._ "DIEEEEE!!!!" Hiro roared, lunging at them. They both dodged and ran for their lives.

"What happened to the kitchen?!" Ray and Spencer screamed. Oh dear… "KAI! TALA!!!!!!"

Four crazy people in the house ain't good, I tell you. It's not good at all. After all, I's easy to get cornered that way. …A dead end. "AAAHHHH!!!!" Tala and Kai screamed. They grabbed at Kai, who was still slippery and managed to slip out of their grasp, burrowing beneath their legs to escape. But Tala was caught.

"TAAAALLLLAAAA!" Kai screamed dramatically. "NOOOOOO!!!!"

"Go on without me, baby boy! You must survive!" Tala fake sobbed. Then, all four of his captors glared at him hard. "Eh heh heh, don't look at me so passionately, you make me feel so scared…" Tala backed as much as he could into the wall. But it was no use. Kai shook his head sadly. "It'll burn you money if you die, Tala! Sayonara!!!!"

"OMG NOOOOOOOOOO THE PAINNNN!"

* * *

**Side story**

"...Kai, would you mind explaining what these are?" The teacher smiled very fakely, pointing to the picture of Bryan naked, with Tala hugging him, as well as the picture of Brooklyn fucking Garland. "And why do you have so many fathers, sweety? And so many pets?" The teacher's eyebrow was twitching.

"Wellllll," Kai said nervously, "My mother is raped really often, so we have a lot of step-siblings, and the rapists are kinda my dad... and we just bought all the pets we liked at the pet shop... And oh, the pictures... well, i just took what i saw."

...The teacher fainted.

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XP: Poor Tala nehhh? XDDD. Oh, and please review (:


	13. Chinese new year, blitzy school part one

XP: First up, HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR!! ...Tis' extra songy. The long awaited update is here! As you can see, my humor kinda died, so yeah, and I don't have enough time recently, and the songs are like, just type as I go along and can be done quickly, so I do more songs. Sorry if it sucks. XD

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**Sorry I took long to update, people!! Plus, this may suck!! *worries* ): LOL**

**Aiki-chii: YO YO YO!!! I've not neglected this :p**

**Mika: Here's the update~~~**

**Annie: evil teachers… I have evil teachers too… T-T**

**Black-ice-demon-1996: Maybe I should change my name too, but then people might not be able to find me afterwards. ): I have tried the ice cube thing for a science lesson. XD**

**Sasukechica: Glad I made you jolly, hohoho! XD**

**Chocolatexloverx16: lols smarter XD. And I'm glad they didn't do it to my bed too XD**

**Sonu: Lights went off? O-o Tala got those pictures coz he's a stealthy ninja!! XD**

* * *

_Family: Tala is the wife!!!_

_1) Tala, Bryan, Daughter Spencer. (Oldest. Legal.)_

_2) Tala, Ray, Son Kai. (Second oldest from 'rape')_

_3) Tala, Brooklyn, Son Ian, (Third oldest from 'rape' in basement.)_

_4) Tala, Tyson, Daughter Daichi (Youngest currently, from 'rape' Coz Tyson ate the flavored condoms.)_

* * *

Pets.

Snake-- Lacoya

Rat—Pikachii

Parrot – Sani

Bunny—Sonu

Cat—Miyako

Dog—Mika

Though they're not really mentioned here… sorry. T-T

* * *

Kai blinked and looked curiously at Hiro as he tried to explain something. "Like I said," Hiro continued, "Our relatives are coming over for this New Year, and I want all of you to be on your best behavior!"

"TALA IVANOV LISTENS TO NO ONE!!" Tala roared.

Tala Ivanov is the boss

The boss ain't gonna take orders

You can talk to my secretary

Get outta my sight

I can call the security

And they can drag you out

Ain't that fun now,

Don't you wanna be the boss?

But too bad, I am the boss,

The one and only Tala Ivanov!

"You made you boss?" Max rolled his eyes. Talking about Max here!! Apparently Ray banned his sugar intake as it was deemed 'unhealthy' and 'teeth rotting'. Plus, Max didn't want to go to the dentists… Boo, poor Maxie.

"And so," Hiro's eyes darkened, "Keep those pets of yours in a cage or something, you hear me? They wreak too much havoc…" Ray held out multiple cages, "Keep them here." Kai and Tala shared a look before pouting rebelliously and crossing their arms like they were about to throw a tantrum. "If you're good I'll give you cookies."

Kai's eyes instantly brightened. "OKAY!!!!"

C is for cookie,

Those brilliant round cookies,

They taste so freaking good,

So delicious, yummy…

I especially like the chocolate ones,

Oh, I'm so addicted,

The thought of chocolate will

Send those shivers up my spine

I'm so excited, woo,

I crave for cookies

Gimme some cookies,

Anytime anyday,

COOKIES COOKIES COOKIES!!!

"NOOO KAI! Don't be tempted!" Tala fake sobs, "He chose cookies over me…" Kai ignored him, ecstatic over the thought of cookies. He gently scooped the pets up one by one and looked them into different cages based on their sizes. "Those poor things… trapped in cages," Tala sniffs. "Just because Kai wanted chocolates cookies…"

Oh, what pitiable animals,

Oh, woe is they,

Trapped in suffocating cages,

Stripped of their freedoms,

Unable to move around,

Such a depressing notion,

Cages shouldn't be mentioned,

They shouldn't even exist,

Oh, POOR ANIMALS!

"Extra songy today, eh?" Ian yawned as he walked down the stairs. "Father Bry bry is asleep. He's a sleepy head…. Ah… more songs?" Tala grinned and nodded, opening his mouth to sing.

Bryan's a sleepyhead,

He can't wake up!

In cases of emergency,

He can't wake up!

If a fire burns his butt,

He can't wake up!

If there was an earthquake,

And the house collapsed,

He can't wake up!

If someone steps on his…*ahem*

He can't wake up!

Even if you kiss him,

He can't wake up!

So yaaay, let's rape Bryan!

As Tala ran off to Bryan's room with Ian watching with amusement and slight worry, Kai began to stuff myself with the cookies he loved so much. "AAAAAAHHH TALA WHAT ARE YOU FREAKING DOI- DON'T TOUCH ME THERE!" Bryan screamed.

"But dear," Tala whined back, "It's time we got another child~" Ian began cackling like mad, "I wonder who's the next child?" Bryan continued screaming and freaking out. "GET OUT OF MY ROOM!!!"

"BRYAN HAS MORNING WOOD!!!!" Tala cheered as he ran down the stairs. Many of them blushed and mumbled about Tala's vulgarness. Kai found nothing strange with this, but seriously, shouldn't the other people be used to Tala's antics? Kai didn't even understand what morning wood meant, he just munched his cookies and watched the show.

Bryan has morning wood,

Ooh, he's so horny,

I wonder if he had a wet dream,

I wonder if he dreamt of me?

I wonder what sick things we were doing,

I wonder what suggestive positions we were in,

I wonder about whether he moaned or screamed,

I wonder who's seme and who's uke,

But I'm probably uke right?

But it wouldn't hurt to be seme…

Oh, I hope Bryan cleaned up the sheets,

I hope he left no evidence,

But I already saw him, he cannot hide,

Maybe I'll fulfill his fantasies?

"Tala! Stop singing obscene songs in the morning!" Spencer growled and whacked her mother. Yes, I meant that 'her' and 'mother'. Tala pouted and rubbed his arm. "I will not stop singing! It is my calling! Some people actually enjoy my songs!"

Just then, the doorbell rang. "The doorbell's singing, chiming, so loud and clear, echoing~" Tala sang with a grin. He was whacked on the arm again. "Stop hitting me, will ya?" Tyson's relatives streaming in, all wishing 'happy new year'. The were stunned by the number of kids in the house, and thought that they were all Kinomiya kids, and gave them all hong baos. (red packet)

"Why are you giving me money?" Kai asked very innocently. His eyes shone brightly with naivety. "B-Because it's new year," They stammered and took back the hong bao and replaced it with the one that has more money. That was meant for the oldest child, which is Hiro, but Kai was simply too adorable. There were not enough hong baos as they did not expect so many kids.

"Anyone has spare hong baos?" They whispered amongst themselves. Kai heard and passed them his hong baos that had money. "Here, hong baos," Kai smiled. Everyone was stunned. This child was so cute! And the poor thing seemed like he had not celebrated new year before, unlike all the kids who screamed for hong baos.

"It's okay," They murmured, staring at the child in wonder, before staring at Tala. Tala was screaming, "WOO HOO MONAY! GIMME MORE AND MORE MONAY! YAAAY RED PACKETS! GIMME ALL OF EM!!!" Such a contrast. They sighed and shook their heads.

Then, it was time for lunch!! All of them went to seat at the table. They had to squeeze, but managed to do it. They had to use chopsticks to lift the yu sheng(noodle like thingy that's very long) in the air. Kai tossed it in the air, then it landed one everyone's plates. People clapped.

Tala tried it too, and it landed on their heads. Frustrated, Tala began tossing all the food he could find, and thus, due to Tala's bad aim, the lunch was gone. Yes, he even tossed the freaking abalone which dropped in someone's shoe. No more lunch… Everyone glared at Tala, except or Kai who was too full after he ate his cookies.

All of the relatives stormed out. "Wait! Come back! Ooh, Dad and grandpa are going to kill me!" Hiro slammed his head against the wall and fainted. Ray, upon seeing his food destroyed, did the same thing. And for the rest of the Bladebreakers who couldn't believe what had happened, they did the same.

Ian began eating off the floor. "IAN! You'll get sick!" Spencer warned. Ian grinned, "Why waste food?" Then, he continued eating. The Blitzkrieg boys sighed and looked at Tala, who shrugged. After that day, no relatives came to their house again.

So, let's go visit the temple!!

Scene one: Tala screaming about how expensive incense is and how fortune tellers are lying when they said he would remain single coz he had a husband. And thus, passersby stare at them.

Scene two: Tala has successfully 'killed' the fortune teller. He now burns the incense sticks that Hiro bought and throws the ashes about, hitting random people. He hit Bryan once, who roared and chased him around until he got tired. Which is pretty long.

Scene three: Tala makes a big show of tossing paper offerings, like fake notes, into the fire, shouts about global warming and how he got burnt and that they'll all go to hell.

Scene four: Tala goes to catch biggest fish in the pond even though they're for watching. It dies after being separated from the water too long and the monks get angry. Hiro has to pay! That fish is a few thousand bucks!

Scene five: They go to ring a gigantic bell and Tala made it fall down with a damn loud 'BAM!!" They were chased out of the temple.

And so, Chinese new year: EPIC FAIL.

* * *

***And now, school part one***

As they haven't bought uniforms yet, the Blitzkrieg boys wore home clothes. Kai still wore Hiro's old uniform though. All of them were yawning at the same time, as yawning was contagious. Tala resembled a mummy. He was bandaged all over, his arms, legs, chest… his face had three deep scratch marks which dried up. He looked like a gangster.

He wore an unbuttoned white shirt and black shorts that were super short. Spencer was dressed in a …flowery dress? WTF? Bryan was wearing a mafia like suit… to school? Ian was wearing pajamas… this was very weird indeed. The whole family was going to school, so Ray, Daichi, Tyson and Brooklyn who was hugging Kai's pikachu bag.

"We're off to school~" Max cried hyperly. Hiro, the only one not going to school, nodded. Kenny and Hilary was with them too… Kai had a happy smile on his face. Because, well, Tala was with him. The whole lot of them walked down the street, getting a lot of weird glances.

"Yaaaaiii(1), school~" Tala yawned. "I have finally learned ABDs, I can pwn all of them there~" Kai sweatdropped at that. "Tala, ABCs aren't important…" Tala merely smiled at Kai. "I know, it's survival, right? We blitzy boys have alllll the survival skills!"

"Yeah, we use violence," Bryan smirked, recalling how much of a beating he gave Tala the last time(last chapter). Well, not only him. Tala was still sore. In fact, every single movement, walking, standing, lying down, raising his arms… they all hurt. But Tala was masking the pain, he wanted to go to school with Kai, he didn't want Kai to worry. Most of all, he didn't want anyone to bully Kai.

Spencer looked at Tala guiltily. He felt bad about hitting Tala so brutally. Tala, as though sensing it, turned and smiled reassuringly at Spencer. He's the mother of the family afterall, he had to be strong. Anyway it was his own fault for angering them. Even though Kai took a part in messing the kitchen, Tala took all the blame. "What's school like?" Ian asked curiously.

"It sucks," Everyone deadpanned together at the same time. Kai intertwined his fingers with Tala's. When Tala looked at Kai questioningly, Kai said nothing. Kai was staring ahead and biting on his lower lip nervously. Tala smiled and touched Kai's cheek gently. Kai turned his head at the warmth. Tala smiled comfortingly at Kai, his eyes understanding. Kai smiled back and nodded.

"Had another telepathic moment?" Bryan asked, ruffling Kai's hair. Aww, how sweet. Tala nodded, then… he swooped in and kissed Bryan on the cheek. Bryan suddenly stopped walking and stoned there. "RUN KAI!!!" Tala grabbed Kai's wrist and ran.

"…COME BACK HERE, IVANOV!!" Bryan roared.

"I'll only come back if you promise to be gentle~" Tala called back slyly. Tala turned to the left even though the school was at the right side. "Tala! Tala! Wrong direction!" Kai tugged at Tala's wrist. "Oops," Tala grinned, spinning on his heel and… falling flat on his face. "…ow."

"Are you okay, Tala?" Kai asked worriedly. Tala forced himself back up. "I'm…okay," Tala coughed. He wobbled on his feet. Brooklyn silently went over and slung Tala's arm around his neck, helping him to walk. Tala beamed at Brooklyn. "Thank you, illegitimate husband."

Bryan glared at Brooklyn's back then stomped over and grabbed Tala into a bridal style carrying method. All of them seemed stunned. "…Were you jealous, hubby?" Tala asked coyly, touching Bryan's cheek intimately.

"Yeah, so what?" Bryan growled, looking away.

"YAYYY CONGRATULATIONS MUM! YOU HAVE FINALLY SEDUCED FATHERRR!" Kai cheered and nudged Ian and Daichi. Then they both cheered, "WOOO! WE BETTER NOT GO INTO THEIR ROOM TONIGHT! WHO KNOWS WHAT WE MIGHT SEE?"

"And what we might hear," Spencer hid a smile. He joined in on the fun. "We better sleep earlier~"

"Ganging up on me again," Bryan grumbled. Tala grinned at him and snuggled into his muscular chest. Tala's eyes dulled slightly, deep in thought. Kai looked at Tala in concern, then Tala sent him a tired smile. Kai smiled back brightly, trying to cheer Tala up. Tala nodded in thanks and acknowledgement. "What're you doing, Tala?" Bryan asked.

"You wanna know?" Tala smirked. "It's not a penny for my thoughts but a billion dollars, you know. Or maybe you can pay me by fucking me. But then it wouldn't be very satisfying with your smallness…"

"Is that a challenge, Ivanov?" Bryan whispered huskily into Tala's ear. Tala blushed and shivered at the warm breath tickling his ear. "…I want down! NOW! I WANT DOWN!!!" Tala squealed and squirmed in Bryan's grasp. "Hey, don't move, Tala! You're gonna-!"

…Tala fell. Kai caught him diligently, then carried Tala in a piggyback, humming as though nothing happened. _Well, that was uncomfortable and embarrassing._ Tala buried his face in Kai's shoulder. Tala was actually pretty shy when it comes to real stuff like that. Bryan has discovered Tala's weakness! Oh, it's gonna be fun from now on. "MY baby boy's all grown up now! He can carry me!" Tala joked with fake glee. Can tell that he's desperately trying to change the subject.

"Yeah! I'll protect mommy from now on!" Kai promised, throwing a side glance at Bryan warningly.

"What's that supposed to mean, _son_?" Bryan smirked.

"Nothing, _Father_," Kai sang, holding Tala's hand and swinging it as they walked. Bryan glared at their hands and sulked. But he will try again later!!! That is a promise!!! Tala flushed brightly as he followed Kai. He sneaked a glance back at Bryan almost shyly and became flustered and turned back.

Oh no… this feels like a love comedy or something… like Bryan and Tala were newlywed couples… that just did… *ahem* Bryan smirked boyishly, like a predator having found its prey. Oh no no no… Ian glanced at Bryan then at Tala, back and forth then… "OMG THEY-" Spencer covered his mouth.

Ian pushed him away. "YUCK! Don't cover my mouth with your hand!" Ian took a deep breath. "YOU TWO LOOK LIKE NEWLYWED COUPLES WHO JUST HAD SEX THE OTHER NIGHT AND ARE EMBARASSED ABOUT IT AND TALA IS UKE AND AND…" Spencer covered his mouth again.

There was some dark aura around Bryan, Tala and Kai. "Oops?" Ian laughed nervously. "Ehhh errr, eep, don't kill me!!!!" He zoomed off like a mini rocket. Kai pouted. "Don't run, you stupid little midget!!!" Kai gave Tala to Bryan. (Oh no.) then he ran after Ian. Tala's whole being was tense as he looked up from Bryan's arms. Bryan smirked down at him, and Tala looked away. _Oh crap oh crap… _

The truth is, Tala is very, very shy when it comes to love actually. He is especially timid if a guy like Bryan keeps on trying to… woo him or something!! Tala screamed shrilly and jumped off Bryan, ignoring his pain. Then he fell down on his face. Ouch… embarrassing much? Tala sniffled as tears came to his eyes. He pushed himself up.

Bryan sighed. "Sorry Tala… Shouldn't have teased you like that." Tala blinked up tearily at Bryan. "So you won't do that again?" Bryan sighed again. "What, seducing you like you did to me? No guarantees, but not now." Tala pouted and held out his arms for Bryan to carry him. Bryan complied.

"MIDGETTT!!" Kai roared and the two of them ran all around the place, toppling trash cans , smashing vases, jumping over fences… "NOOOOO!!" Ian screamed. "Don't kill me, Brother!!! Somebody save meeeeeeee!" Daichi pointed at him and laughed, and Spencer gave him a look that said it was his own fault. Kai finally got him!!

Kai grabbed him up by the collar, smiled sweetly and flung him so hard he flew to the school window and crashed into it. Screams were heard as Kai dusted himself off. He turned, smiled brightly and skipped over to Tala. "I've taken care of the pest, Mommy!" Tala smiled and ruffled Kai's hair. Okay, it's school time!! … Oh crap they were late.

"AAAAHHHH!!" They all ran to school.

*End of chapter*

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(1)Yaaaaaiiiii is how I say Yay sometimes.

XP: AND WOOTZ THERE YOU GO! REVIEW! Oh yeah, and you can ask me stuff that you don't understand, I can explain. Coz I'm Chinese. XD.


	14. School part two, Gym and Dodgeball Fun!

XP: Hey! Sorry for not updating for so long! I had writer's block ): Anyway, here's a new chapter! (: I feel that the humor level has dropped though. ): Anyway, It's the school holidays now, so I can write again!

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**To my reviewers:**

**Thanks to Aiki-chii, Sonu, chocolatexloverx16, RockIsDeadCozPaperKilledIt, Mika, Anime Graffiti, PetalWhisker X Fireheart, chancake and adysanime for reviewing!**

**I love you all! Your reviews make me happy :D**

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_Family: Tala is the wife!_

_1) Tala, Bryan, Daughter Spencer. (Oldest. Legal.)_

_2) Tala, Ray, Son Kai. (Second oldest from 'rape')_

_3) Tala, Brooklyn, Son Ian, (Third oldest from 'rape' in basement.)_

_4) Tala, Tyson, Daughter Daichi (Youngest currently, from 'rape' Coz Tyson ate the flavored condoms.)_

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**_**Let's start then :D***_**

The teacher glared at them as they stumbled into the classroom. Then, she blinked when she realised most of them were new students. "Oh! Well, do come in and introduce yourself. But remember not to be late again, alright?" Then, she caught sight of Bryan and well... fell in love. "My, who's this?" She fluttered her eyelashes flirtily.

"He's Bryan," Tala growled. "And you better keep ya hands offa him coz he's mine!" The teacher looked taken aback as Tala glowered at her. Kai glomped Tala from behind, relaxing him. "Don't mind Tala, teacher, He's the jealous possessive type~" Kai said sweetly, smiling.

The teacher smiled back, "Well, now will you guys introduce yourselves so the lessons can start?"

"...No, coz we don't want lessons to start," Tala huffed unhappily. Kai smacked him on the head, giggling.

"I'll introduce!" Kai offered brightly. "Well, You know I'm Kai, then this jealous person is my mother, Tala, then this is Bryan, my dad, and then this is Spencer, my sister, and this is Ian, my little bro, and finally, Daichi, my lil' sis!" Kai beamed at the teacher at the end. "And please let us seat together~!"

"A-Alright," The teacher stuttered, dazzled by Kai's cuteness. She assigned them their seats at the empty back row. Then, a look of realization came over her as she stared at them. "...Kai, aren't these people the family in your journal? Then why are they in the same class?"

"Oh! We're around the same age, you see," Kai smiled innocently, blinking his large ruby eyes. "I hope it isn't a problem?" Damn, the kid was good at brainwashing older females.

"Oh... um, no, it isn't... well! Let us begin our lesson then!" The teacher said nervously, "Take out your books students, and flip to page 26! And erm... Tala, is it? I want you to read the passage on top."

Tala sighed, taking Kai's book and standing up, leaning on his table by resting his elbow on the table, and his chin on his palm, and drawled in a husky, accented voice, "The boy sighed dreamily, looking at the sky, wishing to go to the land of the fairies once more. He already missed the beautiful scenery, the joyous music, and the friendly, pretty fairies which invited him to dance to their voices, their alluring sway to the beat... To eat their sizzling hot, mouth-watering meals, to circle around the glorious fire, to laugh and to joke carefreely, in the presence of each other, and... fuck, how long is this crap?" (And by the way, this is a made up paragraph LOL)

"Tala!" Kai giggled.

"I'm sure she's getting a kick out of listening to Tal's voice," Ian snickered.

The teacher, and the class, blinked, snapping out of their haze induced by Tala's sexy voice. "Oh! I'm sorry, Ivanov-kun, you may seat down now." Tala rolled his eyes and sat down loudly, plopping his feet onto the table. The teacher stared as Tala opened his lips to sigh, flicking a few stray looks of crimson hair out of his awesome eyes...

"Ahem," Bryan coughed. "Are you gonna stare all day or teach us something useful?" His voice took on a dangerous, jealous edge.

"Oops! I-I'm sorry!" The teacher stammered her apology and went on to explain the paragraph. Seems like she had fallen for Tala instead.

"School is weird," Daichi commented. "How long till we go home?"

"Sorry to tell you, but a long time away," Spencer smiled softly as Daichi, as well as the rest of the family, groaned.

_**********After the english class comes...?***********_

Oh, gym. Joy. Gym was split into a class of boys and girls. Everyone changing together in the locker rooms, everyone turning to check the little family out... especially to see Tala, Kai and Bryan... Well, Bryan and Spencer blocked Tala and Kai the best they could, being the protective people they were. Kai chuckled at their antics and changed, though quite glad for their cover. He didn't like people looking as he changed. Tala too, didn't like it, even though he may not seem the type.

"I'm done, Bry," Tala said softly, looking up at Bryan. He saw Bryan staring at him and blushed darkly. Was Bryan watching him the whole time he changed? He turned to face Kai, who had a playful smirk on his face.

"Tala is blushing~~" Kai sang, poking Tala's cheek.

"Oh, shush!" Tala pouted, tickling Kai, making Kai giggle.

"I hate getting sweaty," Spencer sulked, interrupting.

Ian turned and looked at him, grinning, "Spenc, You really are turning girlie, ya know?" Spencer unhappily hit his head, making Ian shout out in protest. Daichi laughed at Ian's misery as Ian rubbed his throbbing head.

"Let's go," Bryan said authoritively.

"Yes, Papa~" Everyone chimed, and rushed out giggling before Bryan could hit them. Bryan sighed and smiled fondly, walking out. There, they saw a super fat coach. The family tried hard not to laugh at the coach's absurd looking mustache.

"Wellll, people! Let's begin this wondrous day with like, ten laps while i seat here and watch you guys!" The coach boomed loudly in a squeaky voice. Daichi and Ian laughed out loud. "What's so funny there? Save your breath for the laps!"

Tala nudged Kai and whispered, "Did that dude swallow helium or something? I mean holy shit! His voice cracks me up!" Tala giggled and Kai started laughing too. "Come on! Let's run!"

Competitively, Kai and Tala zoomed ahead or everyone else, with Bryan following close behind. However, no one could beat Tala and Kai in their speed. Kai grinned and sped up somemore, teasingly sticking his tongue out at Tala. Tala growled and tried his best to keep up, but Kai was a few steps ahead. Kai maintained that distance and finished the race, grinning, hardly out of breath.

Tala, however, gasped for air when he finished, collapsing on the floor. Wheezing, he pointed accusingly at Kai. "What drugs have you taken!"

Kai shrugged innocently, grinning as he drank out of his water bottle. He passed it to Tala, who accepted it gratefully. Kai was definitely the best in running, after all, he used to run every single morning.

One by one, everyone finished their laps, all collapsing on the floor in different fashions as they finished. Bryan, for example, landed face first onto the floor, making everyone wince.

"Alrighty, my little bees! Now it's time for some friendly dodgeball! Split into two teams now!" The coach squeaked. Tala and Kai looked at each other, raising an eyebrow.

**_Little bees...?_**

No matter. It was time to kick some ass. The family immediately gathered together, knowing that if they did, they were sure to win. "Kai!" Tala called out, grinning evilly. He tugged at the necklace around his neck. Kai nodded happily as he got the message. They exchanged their necklaces then glanced coolly at their surroundings, taking note of their opponents. Then, they smirked and walked past each other, slapping their hands in the air together as a high-five. They took positions at two different ends at their side of the court.

Then, the game started. The ball came from the other side of the team. Tala licked his lips predatorily as he lunged at the ball, knocking the ball into some poor guy's head. The ball rebounded back from the force of the strike, and this time Kai smirked and jumped up, slamming the ball into some poor guy's chest, knocking the air out of him. Then, Bryan came up to strike the ball into another guy's head, an awful cracking sound sounded as the guy slammed into the floor. Spencer simply stayed at the side, not liking violence.

"Me! Me!" Ian cheered at the ball came over again. He hit the ball high into the air, where Tala jumped up to an incredible height to slam it down. Next, Daichi helped Kai to set the ball high into the air, and Kai mimicked Tala, jumping up to hit the ball down, his hair fluttering and shirt flipping up to show a smooth stomach. The game was over quickly, and not once did the ball touch the ground. Against them, the other team never had a chance.

In awe, the coach forgot to blow his whistle to signal that the game was over. On the opposite side, all of the players were on the floor, groaning in pain. Smirking, the group exchanged high fives. The bell rang to signal that gym was over. Grinning deviously, Tala led his team to the shower room to clean up.

_********Lunch time :D********_

The family took over the rooftop. Tala tugged at his necklace again, signalling Kai. Kai nodded and swiftly took off his necklace, exchanging it with Tala.

"THAT WAS TOTALLY AWESOME!" Kai cheered.

"WE TOTALLY PWNED THEIR ASSES!" Tala laughed.

"WE ROCK!" Ian joined in, screaming at the sky.

"TOTALLY!" Daichi added, unnecessarily.

"Yeah, yeah," Bryan rolled his eyes. "Stop being so dramatic... Though I have to admit it was fun."

"Alright now, quieten down and eat your lunch!" Spencer chided, handing out lunch boxes he woke up early to prepare for them.

"Aww, so sweettttt~" Tala cooed, pinching Spencer's cheek. They all dug into the delicious lunchbox. Spencer's culinary skills could rival a famous chef. They spent their lunch together, happily. That was when Kai piped up.

"Strangely, we all have the same classes?"

Everyone stopped eating for awhile. The family, besides Kai, shared guilty glances.

* * *

**_***Flashback***_**

The whole family(except Kai) was in the stuffy office,collecting their schedules. They were horrified to find out that they were all in different classes.

Mr. Idiot said sternly, "Well, I have seen the havoc you guys made together, but instead of rejecting all of you, i have accepted you all into my glorious school, where you can all become better people. But, I have made sure that none of you will be in the same classes, to make sure you guys stay out of trouble."

Tala was the first to comment, "THE **_FUCK_**? You think that will help anything? You will only make us more bored and more prone to create troubles,**_SEPARATELY_**, meaning there will be _even more_ havoc!"

"Yeah, old man!" Ian chimed in.

"You stupid old bastard, you better put us in the same classes as our son Kai Hiwatari, and right NOW!" Bryan growled.

"Yes, or we might need to resort to some... ahem, desperate measures," Spencer coughed.

"Yeahhhh! You wouldn't like to see that!" Daichi said haughtily.

The principal simply frowned at them. "Language, my boys. This is all for your own good. You need to learn more about discipine-" Bryan's fist slammed into the wall, making a dent, while Tala's leg slammed onto the table, breaking it into two. Tala leaned dangerously close to Mr. Idiot, growling under his breath, eyes cold, promising a horrible death.

"Now, Mr. **_Idiot_**," Tala purred, sickeningly sweet, "You _shall_ put us in the same class, no **excuses**."

"But, But..."

Spencer, Ian and Daichi also glared hard at the principal, while Bryan took his fist off the wall, moving in to stand beside Tala, a maniacal grin on his face.

"We wouldn't want to **_kill another person_** now, would we?" Tala continued in the same dangerous tone, turning around to look at his family, smiling rather evilly.

Everyone shook their heads, smile taking on devious edges. Frightened, the principal hurriedly called for his secretary to change their schedule.

**_***End flashback***_**

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"Oh, nothing to be worried about, Baby boy,"Tala said soothingly, a bit too hurriedly. He glanced at the rest, who all promised silently not to tell. Tala hugged Kai to his chest. "Though, I'm very happy to be with you always, dear."

"Me too, Tala," Kai grinned up at Tala. He actually looked forward to spending his school days with Tala. And so, Tala opened his mouth to sing a song...

_"Today, we had gym lessons,_

_With a squeaky coach on helium!_

_And we ran like hell on legs,_

_collapsing on our face!(Bryan, anyway)_

_Then, we had dodgeball,_

_where we pwned em all!_

_And then, we headed for the shower,_

_And saw, Bryan's small ****!"_

"...TALA! YOU DIE!" Bryan growled angrily, chasing Tala around in circles on the roof as everyone else laughed merrily, enjoying their time together.

**_***END***_**

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**_XP: YUP! Hope you enjoyed it! I hope it didn't suck, and I hope it put a smile on your face. Anyway, please review and tell me if my standard has dropped or if some parts are bad, coz i'm really worried about that. So yeah, till next time! ...Hopefully, there will be a next time!_**


	15. CHAOS AT DA MACDONALDS

XP: So yeah, hi people! Sorry that this chapter is a little short, I'm trying my best to update fics even though I kinda have writer's block very often for multi-chapter stories. So ummm, hope you enjoy it! YAY MACDONALDS! :D

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**Thanks to all those who reviewed: andysanime, RockIsDeadCozPaperKilledIt, imma-pink-buble, Rapunzelle, Damgiel and chocolatexlowerx16. (: I really appreciate your reviews. Thank you for writing them. I'll try to do my part to write and keep a smile on your face! **

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_Family: Tala is the wife!_

_1) Tala, Bryan, Daughter Spencer. (Oldest. Legal.)_

_2) Tala, Ray, Son Kai. (Second oldest from 'rape')_

_3) Tala, Brooklyn, Son Ian, (Third oldest from 'rape' in basement.)_

_4) Tala, Tyson, Daughter Daichi (Youngest currently, from 'rape' Coz Tyson ate the flavored condoms.)_

Might have more O_O

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**_***LET'S BEGIN!***_**

**"Kyaa!" Tala shrieked happily.**

Today everyone was on an outing. And apparently Tala had spotted Macdonalds. Kai squealed happily, and Ian screamed, "IT'S MACCCC!" Tala had convinced him that being crazy was a good thing. "FOOOOOOOOOOODDDDD!" Daichi exclaimed happily. "MINE!" Tyson growled, and he and Daichi went into a verbal war.

_"I want a happy meal!" Kai whined._

_"Oh, I want a happy, happy meal,_

_a happy meal makes me happy~!_

_A happy meal served happily,_

_by a happy happy person,_

_with a happy toy, and happy fries,_

_a happy drink, and happy laugh!_

_Oh, i want a happy, happy meal,_

_coz it makes me happy~!"_ Tala sang delightedly, staring at Hiro, who was the oldest person amongst them.

"Oh, alright, I'll buy you guys happy meals. Now shut up!" Hiro growled.

"Oh, you're so sweet, Hiro, you won't regret it when I have a three-" Tala's mouth got covered by Kai.

"Nooo, Tala! Threesome is taboo to Hiro!" Ian laughed.

"Aww, can't the dude be more open-minded?" Tala pouted.

"I'll show you an open mind!" Hiro growled, pointing at Tala's head and raising his fist angrily.

"Kyaaa, the monster is enraged!" Kai giggled.

"Runnnn!" Ian screamed, and all the of them ran into the Macdonalds restaurant.

"Oh, those guys are seriously CRAZY!" Tyson rolled his eyes.

"...Excuse me?" Bryan growled, glaring threateningly at everyone, waving a gun. "NO ONE INSULTS THEM BUT ME!" The Bladebreakers 'eeped' in fright and hurriedly went into Macdonalds. Bryan smirked proudly. Spencer sighed and smacked Bryan on the head. "Daddy, don't cause a scene in public..." Bryan pouted and rubbed his head, grumbling as Spencer pushed him in, followed by Hiro.

Tala was already at the counter, ordering things happily and randomly. He basically ordered one of everything to test out how it sounded, for fun, then ordered a lot of happy meals. Besides, Tyson could eat it if they didn't like it. Soon, Tala was attempting to hold many trays of food at once just for fun. Everything tipped dangerously as he balanced them on his hands, arms, and head. "...OH SHIT OH SHITTT!" Tala screamed as the one on his head started to tip over. Kai obediently took it, sighing.

Everyone helped to hold the trays and went to a large table.

"I'll get the straws!" Ian announced, rushing off.

"I'll get the sauces!" Kai said, giggling.

"I'll get the napkins!" Tala grinned.

Soon, all of them came back with loads of sauce and napkins and straws. Grinning, Ian took two straws and put them on his head. "Looooook, I'm an aliennnn~~~"

Kai put two in his mouth. "I'm a walrus!"

Tala put them in his ears. "I'm a frankenstein!"

Then they all stared deviously at Hiro. And they lunged at him, putting straws in his nose. "And Hiro has straw-shaped boogersss!" They laughed. Hiro growled at them, but Spencer held him down, shaking his head.

"Stop playing around," Ray chided. "People are staring." Indeed they were, but did the troublemakers care? Nooooo, not at all. Then, they blinked, pretending to settle down, starting to eat. Then suddenly...

"SAUCE WARRRR!" Kai and Tala exclaimed, throwing sauce at Bryan. Bryan growled lowly in his throat, and Tala shivered. "Oooh, sexyyy."

"...YOU GUYS ARE GONNA DIEEE!" Bryan hissed, reaching out to grab at them.

"ARGHHH!" The duo screamed, and they tried to fend him off with sauce. Ian blinked, and put down the straws from his head. He took the small dish of ketchup and... flung it at Ray. When Ray turned around angrily, Ian merely blinked innocently and pointed at Tyson and Daichi who were too busy eating.

"THAT'S IT YOU IMMATURE PRICKS!" Ray roared, flinging his own sauces at Tyson and Daichi, and also hitting Max who was in the middle. "Hey! What'd we do?" The three who got hit asked angrily. Then a war broke out. No one was spared, even though Spencer tried to break them up. Needless to say Spencer was also hit and was not happy.

Then they ran out of sauce.

"STRAW FIGHT!" Kai and Tala threw straws everywhere, and some of them stuck onto people due to the insane amount of sauces which covered them. Then they ran out of straws too, but that was no problem. "FOOD FIGHT! GO PIKACHU! HAPPY HAPPY MEAL ATTACK!" Tala roared.

Kai blinked. Oh, Tala was referring to him. Then, he flung fries at everyone. "YES PIKACHU! THEY STAND NO CHANCE AGAINST YOU!"

"Oh yeah?" Bryan snarled, lunging at Kai and pulling him down, making both of them horribly messy.

"MAN DOWN, COMMANDER!" Ian informed, saluting to Kai who was struggling on the now slippery and gooey floor.

"HIS SACRIFICE WILL NOT BE IN VAINNNN! CHARGGGEEEE!" Tala commanded, pointing his straw at what was turning to a wrestling match between many people, as well as cat fights, pulling at hair. Ian continued to fling food at people, and even at other random customers. He flung so quickly with such accuracy that everyone started to retreat from them.

"GET OFF KAIIII!" Tala growled, popping open a pepsi drink and pouring it over Bryan's head. Bryan, who was unprepared, screamed and clutched at his eyes. "FUCK IT'S COLD! THE BURN! THE BURNNNNNN!"

"KAISYYY!" Kai jumped up and gave Tala and hug, causing Tala to be slick with the food mess too. Soon, they ran out of food and started to fling goop picked up from the floor. Then, Tala started to fling drinks full of coke and other drinks.

"THEY'RE PSYCHOS!" The staff started to evacuate, since even they couldn't control the fight that was going on. Well, it was called a fight, but it was kinda three on everyone, and the three were winning. Everyone tried to escape, but Tala flung lots of goop in front of them, causing them to slip and fall. Kai immediately slid over, blocking everyone from the entrance. "NONE SHALL SURVIVE! DIEEEE!" And Kai started to rapidly fling disgusting goop at them, while Tala flung cokes at them from behind, with Ian handing them to him to make things faster.

"AHHHHH! SOMEONE CALL THE POLICE!"

Then... "FUCK YOU LITTLE BITCHES! DO YOU WANT TO BE PUNISHED?" Bryan growled.

Ian froze, arms full of un-flung cokes. Tala paused, with one of his hands backwards, prepared for a throw. Kai's arms dropped down to his sides. Everything was eerily silent, until Kai started to cry and sob.

"Aw shit! Oh, my dear baby boy, don't cry..." Tala rushed over, immediately, after throwing the coke in his hand at Bryan. "I'm sure Bry-bry didn't mean to scream at you like that... _**RIGHT**_, Bry-bry?" Tala hissed, glaring at Bryan. Bryan nodded guiltily as Tala hugged Kai.

"W-what happened?" Tyson asked in confusion. All of them were being psycho just now, and now Kai's crying, Ian's sulking, with Tala all protective and angry.

"Kai doesn't like to be screamed at like that. It reminds him of the abbey," Ian explained softly, while Tala whispered soothing words in Russian beside Kai's ear, stroking his head. Everyone fell silent again. It was rare for Kai to have so much fun, since his days at the abbey were hell. Now he could laugh and act immature all he wanted... Maybe they shouldn't stop them from causing havoc... It made them _happy_...

Well, yeah, until the next havoc came, then everyone's thoughts will change.

"Dammit," Bryan sighed, raking a hand through his hair, which was sticky and gooey. "Look, Kai, I'm sorry."

Kai peeked up from Tala's arms, still crying, blinking innocently with puppy eyes. "Will you kiss it better?"

"What?" Bryan actually reeled back in shock.

"...You don't want to?" Kai said, lower lip trembling, eyes hurt.

"...Aw, fuck dammit, come here."

Tala gently pushed Kai towards Bryan's direction, grinning proudly. Kai blinked up at Bryan with watery, trusting eyes, standing up on his tiptoes, while Bryan hugged him and surprisingly kissed him tenderly. When they broke apart, Kai smiled up and Bryan. "I love you, daddy."

Tala gasped. "MORE THAN YOUR MOTHER, ME?"

Kai grinned cheekily, "Don't worry Tal, you're still number one."

"...Yeah, yeah, whatever, go get yourself cleaned up," Bryan sighed, ruffling Kai's hair. Kai beamed up at Bryan, before skidding off to the bathroom, followed by Tala who held Kai's shoulders, sliding along on the mess.

Everyone stared at Bryan in stunned silence. Bryan growled threateningly at them, "WHAT?"

"It's just..." Ray smiled. "You're actually a big softie underneath. I think it's sweet."

"No, I can kill anyone I want to in a split second. I'm just protective of my family," Bryan retorted. "You you guys better not speak a word about what happened here or I will personally hunt you down and kill you."

Then, Tala, Kai and Ian came out surprisingly spotless, but damp with water.

"...How the hell did you guys get so clean?" Spencer asked, puzzled.

"Tala licked me clean," Kai said, blinking. Dead silence, then... "WHAT?"

"The goop was surprisingly tasty," Tala grinned.

"...He's lying," Ian giggled at the shocked face of everyone.

"Aw, Ian, you told them too fast," Kai pouted.

"Hehe, Macdonalds are fun! Let's come back again!" Tala grinned.

Everyone looked horrified at Tala.

"NO!"

**_***END***_**

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**_XP: So um, yeah that's the end of it. Hopefully you liked it! (:_**


	16. Rain, The Guidance Counselors?

XP: Damn. School tomorrow. I'm rushing this chapter so you guys can read it, xD You guys can look forward to The Red Falcon Show, it's something like this, yet different. x) I'm trying my best to keep it funny for ya all, but there are some serious parts necessary for a plot! :D

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**Thanks to Petalwhisker, chocolatexloverx16, imma-pink-buble, andysanime and ShadowsInTheBrightestOfLight for reviewing! I enjoyed reading your reviews, they made me really happy and encouraged me to update (:**

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_Family: Tala is the wife!_

_1) Tala, Bryan, Daughter Spencer. (Oldest. Legal.)_

_2) Tala, Ray, Son Kai. (Second oldest from 'rape')_

_3) Tala, Brooklyn, Son Ian, (Third oldest from 'rape' in basement.)_

_4) Tala, Tyson, Daughter Daichi (Youngest currently, from 'rape' Coz Tyson ate the flavored condoms.)_

Might have more O_O

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_*****STARTTTT! :D*******_

"_Wheee!"_ Tala pirouetted in the rain merrily, dragging Kai along with them, turning in circles. They were in their raincoats, with had silly pokemon characters on it. "Hahaha! I wonder why no one else is doing this?" They were now at their lunch break in school.

"Maybe because it's cold and it's raining?" Ian said dryly, watching them from under a tree. He was holding a pink umbrella that Spencer made him hold, with flowery designs... Ian did not like rainy days, they made him feel rather lethargic and tired of everything.

"Aww, don't be a wet blankie, Ian dear!" Tala pouted then sang randomly.

_"Rain, Rain, Rainnnnn,_

_colddddd and wetttt rainnnnn,_

_let's dance together,_

_under the rain, _

_twirling, spinning, laughing..." _

"Wah! I'm getting dizzy Tal!" Kai exclaimed, trying to steady himself, but failing, falling backwards. A steady hand supported his weight from his back, and Kai blinked, looking innocently up at Bryan, who had helped him. "Thank you _Daddy_."

Bryan, who was used to it by now, simply sighed and smacked Kai on the head. Arguing could do him no good.

"Baby Boy! You hit my baby boy! You child abuser!" Tala accused, glaring at Bryan. "How could you hit your own child?" Tala sweetly kissed Kai's cheek, stroking Kai's head. Kai had tears in his eyes, and looked like he was going to cry.

Little did they know... that the discipline master from their school was nearby. He saw Bryan hit Kai... and Tala scream at Bryan... and Kai cry... "**BRYAN KUZNETSOV!** What's this I hear about you being violent to little kids? That's it, young man, you are going to see our school's guidance counselor. Hell, all of you Russians should go!" Bryan sweatdropped.

"Are you being Racist?" Ian deadpanned, moving from his position at the tree, walking over to stand with his family.

"No! But all of you Russians are messed up, and don't argue! You guys have caused much havoc in the school. In fact, you guys need to be punished. All of you, clean up the whole school!" The scary discipline master hissed. Tala and Kai looked at each other, puzzled and worried, before Tala smiled and patted Kai, and Kai smiled too, no longer worried. He'll be alright with his family here, afterall. Over-protective Tala wouldn't let any harm come to him.

"Go to the counselors this after this, alright?" The discipline master ordered, before leaving quickly. Surprisingly, he wasn't dead.

They glanced at each other, before the bell rang shrilly. Sighing collectively, they turned to go back into the school. Well, except Tala.

"I wanna play somemore!" Tala whined, jumping into puddles and splashing everyone. Bryan growled and grabbed the back of Tala's collar, dragging him along. "Aaaaahhhh! Bry-bry is so scary! He's gonna do M-rated stuff to me!"

"Stop spreading lies, asshole! It's your fault that we're in this trouble!" Bryan snarled.

At that Tala shut his mouth, whimpering. "Sorry..." Tala mumbled in a broken voice, tears welling up in his eyes.

"Hey! Wait! Don't cry!" Bryan cursed loudly under his breath as Tala started to wail.

"You made Tal-tal cry!" Kai accused, as Ian trudged on ahead of them, giving the umbrella back to Spencer. "You're a horrible father! How could you drink wine outside and have affairs and come back to abuse us?"

They were attracting attention, and all of them knew it, and Kai was happy, since he was ruining Bryan's reputation. Tala was proud of his little baby boy, of course, for slandering Bryan. Bryan was, well, angry. "Stop lying, you two damned brats!" Bryan growled. "I don't have affairs, Tala has affairs, which got him a freaky number of weird children! And what abuse?"

Kai blinked before rolling up the sleeve of his arm, showing a blue-black bruise. "You abused me," Kai said in a pitiful voice, and many people's hearts went out to the poor boy, and started to shout as Bryan for his evilness. "_Daddy_, why did you _hurt _me?"

"Dude! You did that to yourself when you fell down the stairs!" Bryan spluttered, disbelief written on his face. "You and Tala were fooling around and didn't see where you guys were going!"

"That's what you want them to think," Tala sobbed fakely.

"No, seriously!" Bryan turned to the crowd. "I did no shit!" The crowd's disapproving and hateful stare told him that they didn't believe him. "I'm the victim here! Hey!" Many people started to fling random leftover food at him, and in shock Bryan released Tala, who grabbed Kai's wrist, running back inside past the crowd of the people to safety, meeting back with Ian and Spencer.

"Wasn't that mean?" Spencer frowned, pursing his lip-glossed lips, putting his manicured hands on his hips. "You guys better apologize later." Spencer was turning into more of a girl...

"Who cares?" Tala said dismissively as Kai cutely shook water out of his hair like a dog.

"Come on, we're gonna be late," Ian said wearily, slouching and leading the way to the guidance counselor's office. Poor thing was really out of it. Kai ran forward to hug Ian tightly, and Ian stopped moving and let him. _Kai was really warm and comforting... _"Come on, Ian!" Kai chirped, linking his arm through Ian's and pulling him along cheerily.

"Aww, how sweet, sibling love," Tala cooed.

"**TALA IVANOV! KAI HIWATARI**!" Bryan's enraged cry could be heard.

"Uh oh, someone sounds angry, like i told you so," Spencer rolled his eyes.

"Aw shit, shut up and run!" Tala hissed and grabbed Spencer's wrist, dashing past Kai and Ian to the guidance counselor's office. Kai and Ian gave puzzled looks then shrugged.

"**KAIIII**!" Bryan rushed over at a crazy speed.

"Eep!" Kai squeaked, and Ian quickly pushed Kai into the room, before going in and slamming the door behind him calmly.

_**BAM!**_

The door now had a Bryan shaped dent. Loud curses could be heard. The three counselors that sat at the large desks all raised their eyebrows. There was ditzy, blond looking counselor that was stifling her giggles, a stern looking woman which had a tight frown, and a concerned looking man. "So... the Russians, yes?" The stern woman said frowning even more. "There's supposed to be five of you."

"Silly, there are already five!" The ditzy one said, giggling as she counted the four Russians in the room, which gave each other amused glances. Then Bryan stumbled in, holding his nose. "Oh, six!"

"...So, um, I've heard that you guys cause a lot of trouble in school, and have a record of abuse in the past in the place called Balkov abbey?" The man asked gently. Kai whimpered and Tala immediately went to his side, soothing him. Ian shrugged, Spencer looked down at his feet, and Bryan glared at him.

"What? You gonna dissect our minds like we're some sort of rare specimen?" Bryan growled. He got even more annoyed when the stern woman wrote down something.

"Why do you guys cause trouble?" The guy asked. He seemed to be the most competent one.

"For the heck of it, it's fun," Tala rolled his eyes. "Plus, they hurt my baby boy."

"They hurt me," Kai blinked. "So i fought back."

"Coz the bastards deserve to die," Bryan hissed.

"Why not?" Ian shrugged.

"I was just tagging along since I had nothing better to do," Spencer said thoughtfully. The man wrote some words down in his notebook, biting on his lower lip.

"You guys think that you have power, then? And want to rule the world, make everyone obey you in fear, and disobey all the rules?" The stern woman said snarkily. The harsh tone made Kai flinch, and now Spencer was rubbing Kai's hand soothingly.

"Please, you're being a little harsh..." The man started, but was silenced by the woman's glare.

"You think the world owes you, so you want to destroy it, is that it? Well, snap out of your little fantasy world, because it won't work. Are you trying to gain sympathy by acting pitiful?" The woman growled, eyeing Kai. Ian looked at the woman with silent contempt, Spencer looked at her with disbelief and disgust, Bryan glared at her with barely restrained rage, due to Tala's tight hold on his arm, and Kai seemed hurt.

"Tala..." Kai whispered fearfully. Tala didn't look at him, he was glaring at the woman with hatred. "Bitch! Don't speak like you know everything! We were tortured everyday in the abbey, with beatings for every single little mistake, and we were treated as lab rats! You don't know how it feels like living everyday, not knowing when you or your friends will die! You don't know how it is like to live in fear! You don't know what a knife feels like being twisted in your skin, or a bullet in your leg, or have a chip inserted in your brain!"

The necklace around Tala's neck glowed a bright scarlet red, shaking around his neck as though it was going to break. Kai hugged Tala tightly, whispering to Tala softly in Russian and the color ebbed slowly, turning back to silver. Tala suddenly seemed very weary and out of it, slumping against Kai. The necklace slipped from his neck, falling to the ground.

"We don't seek power, we never wanted to rule the world like Boris, we never wanted people to fear us. We wanted to be accepted. We were taught to eliminate all feelings like love, care, everything. We could only be emotionless soldiers. Now we only ask that we be left alone, and to leave in peace, together where nothing could hurt us, finally able to do things we want!" Spencer defended angrily.

"And I don't care if anyone else dies! All I care about is my family, and anyone who upsets them should die!" Bryan said threateningly, pulling out two huge kickass guns from nowhere. Spencer clasped his hand on Bryan's shoulder warningly.

"So you should keep your ignorant biased views to yourself," Ian ended softly. The three counselors were silent, mouth agape. Except the stern woman, whom seemed unaffected, continuing to write.

"Alright, you boys may go now," she said coldly.

"Why you little-!" Bryan snarled, but Kai held him back. "Bry! Tala's not looking too good!" Everyone turned to Tala, who was deathly pale, breathing in labored breaths in Kai's protective hold. His eyes were half-closed as he clutched his stomach with one hand. "He's burning up by the second," Spencer said worriedly as he put a hand to Tala's forehead. "SHIT! What the hell happened?" Bryan muttered.

"Tala?" Ian mumbled. He didn't like this, everyone was worried and serious. He preferred it when Tala and Kai were goofing off. His eyes downcast, Ian silently let his tears fall.

"Tala! Don't die!" Kai wailed. "You can't leave me! Please... I don't want to lose anyone else..." Tears streamed down his cheeks as he hugged Tala as though Tala was going to die. Tala raised a trembling hand and stroked Kai's cheek, pulling Kai down to rest their foreheads together, whispering softly to Kai, "I'll be fine..."

"Look what you guys did!" Spencer cried out, hurt.

As the other two counselors turned to the stern woman accusing, the stern woman finally seemed a little guilty. "I'm sorry! I didn't know-" The man slapped her across the face, screaming, _**"I TOLD YOU NOT TO BE SO STERN AND ACCUSING! IT'S NOT GOOD FOR ANYONE WITH A TRAUMATIC PAST! BUT DID YOU LISTEN? NO! YOU SHOULD BE GLAD YOU'RE NOT DEAD! THEY'RE GIVING YOU MERCY, UNLIKE WHAT YOU SAID OF THEM!"**_

Kai hurriedly pulled the wolf necklace around his neck off, putting it around Tala's neck, despite Tala's weak protests. Suddenly, it was Kai who fell limp as Tala straightened. Bryan caught Kai as Tala blinked owlishly around him.

"Where are we?" Tala demanded with authority. "Bryan?" Tala raised an elegant, curved eyebrow. Bryan seemed stunned at Tala not calling him Hubby or some other weird shit that he forgot to answer, stuttering incoherently. "Hm, have you lost your power of forming coherent speech? No matter. Spencer?" Tala turned to see Spencer...

Dressed in pink from head to toe, with lip gloss, pink nails and pink... handbag and umbrella... "What the fuck has poisoned you? Who did this to you? Ian?" Tala spun to Ian accusingly.

"Yeah, well, we're in school now, if you still wanted to know," Ian shrugged. "And Spencer's gay coz he is."

"Hmm, school? Why are we in school?" Tala puzzled, glaring slightly at the counselors. "And I never knew, Spencer... But, well, rest assured that it will not affect our captain-member relationship... Why's Kai unconscious?" Tala stared at Kai, who was slumped against Bryan's body. A hint of concern shone in his eyes. Just then, Kai slowly floated up, as though possessed.

"**W**_h_o da**r**_e_**s** t_o_ **h**ur_t __o_ur **m**a_s_**t**e_r_...?" Kai hissed in many voices, eyes flinging open to show a scary dark black color that seemed to go on forever, swallowing you up in it. He turned darkly to the counselors, after recognizing the Blitzkrieg boys. "_W_**a**s it **y**_o_u g_u_**y**s...?"

"The stern woman with brown hair," Ian supplied helpfully. "The other two did nothing wrong." Kai glanced sideways at Ian for awhile, processing his words and making decisions.

"**T**_h_en _s_**h**e'll **h**_a_ve **t**o _d_i**e**, _m_u**c**h **t**_o_ **m**y _g_l_e_**e**," Kai smirked, a black flame appearing in his opened right palm. Kai looked freakishly evil right now... as well as hot, Tala would say, if he was normal. Kai was all floaty with his hair dancing, and his damnably sexy smirk... well, yeah.

The stern woman now shrieked, no longer stern, a sad image of what she had been. A prim, uptight looking woman, now disheveled and looking scared for her life. "D-Devil! I-I... No! I don't want to die yet!"

Spencer shrunk away from the intensity of the flame, scorching hot from the short distance he had with Kai. He pulled Ian along with him, though Ian couldn't care less, he knew Kai wouldn't hurt him. He could treat it as a sauna or a damned global warmed up day. "What the hell is wrong with Kai?" Tala asked, alarmed. "Is it Black Dranzer?"

"**ARGH! I CAN'T STAND IT ANYMORE**!" Bryan growled, knocking Tala unconscious before taking the wolf necklace off from Tala's neck, and throwing it onto Kai, around his neck instead. Kai suddenly crashed violently to the ground, no longer floating. The black flame distinguished with a sizzle. His mistake, however, because he couldn't predict what would happen next...

"**_Muahahaha_**!" Tala laughed crazily, holding his head. With a wide, scary grin, he glanced at everyone with mad glowing, red eyes. "**_Let's have fun!_**" Suddenly everyone found themselves dodging sharp, black spikes as the room's temperature fell at an alarming rate. A black spike stabbed into the stern woman's leg, causing her to wail and cry. "**_HAHAHAHA_**!" Tala laughed like a psychopath, grinning, spreading his arms wide above his head, welcoming the screams. **_"DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE! ALL OF YOU SHOULD DIE!"_** More and more attacks fell, but none of them even went close to Kai.

The Blitzkrieg Boys dodged them expertly, though Spencer almost fell in his pink high heels. Bryan caught him, though.

A circle of black spikes were stuck in the ground, around Kai's collapsed body, breathing tiredly, Kai glanced up with wide, innocent red eyes. "Tala?"

Tala halted in his attacks. Creepy smile frozen in place, wide maniacal eyes turned to Kai. Kai rushed forever and squeezed Tala tightly. "Tala! Return Tala to me!" The abandoned phoenix necklace on the ground floated up to them, which Kai took and slammed down on Tala's head, causing Tala to drop like a light.

Huffing, everyone looked messed up and tired. Black spikes were slowly melting, turning into a puddle of black goo and the ground. The scorch marks from Kai's flames remained on the ceiling. The stern woman continued to shriek, grasping at her stabbed leg. The counselors went to her side to help her. Through all this, the Blitzkrieg boys laughed, relieved, except Kai, and the now awakened Tala, both of whom seemed horribly, and cutely, confused.

And this was the thought that went on in Ian's head, so much different from the other peoples'.

_Oh, boy, that's gonna be a bitch to clean up._

_*****END OF CHAPTER*****_

_

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_XP: I hope you enjoyed it! (:


	17. Cleaning up, a magical garden?

XP: Sorry for updating so late... Btw, my and my friend folded 400 paper cranes and wrote good wishes inside it to help Japan! Each paper crane was given to a company that donated a dollar for every crane. Did you know, in Japan, there is a myth that if you wish upon a thousand paper cranes you folded, your wish will come true? I hope the japanese are alright... i really love their sushi and their songs and their people...

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**Thanks to those who reviewed! Love ya all (:**

**andysanime: Aww! I'm flattered, really :D There will definitely be more idiotic victims in the future, but the counselors have learnt.**

**Nirianne: Wow. Haha! I thought of it coz i was playing a pokemon game and named the pikachu Tala. Which started this whole chain of randomness xD Never underestimate the power of games!**

**imma-pink-bubble: Are you serious? Oh my, cool umbrella xD Yo! I don't think Spencer will mind, he might even paint your toes for you xD Bryan wins sometimes, though... heheh, though it's quite rare... Haha, I'm liking Ian more and more. I doubt anyone likes that woman x) Thanks for reading~! Glad you liked :D**

**krys: Hey! Don't think I've seen you around before. (: Welcome, and I'm glad you liked it ^^**

**FallenHope-Angel: I know right, so kawaiiiii *squeee* LOL. HAHAHA :D**

**ash1692: If they're yours... and I need to stay away... then why am I writing? lol... ...Btw, are you ash, as in, ASH KETCHUM? OMG. GIVE ME YOUR PIKACHU NAO. Or give it to Kai, really. He'd be so happy he'd glomp you.**

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_Family: Tala is the wife!  
__1) Tala, Bryan, Daughter Spencer. (Oldest. Legal.)  
__2) Tala, Ray, Son Kai. (Second oldest from 'rape')  
__3) Tala, Brooklyn, Son Ian, (Third oldest from 'rape' in basement.)  
__4) Tala, Tyson, Daughter Daichi (Youngest currently, from 'rape' Coz Tyson ate the flavored condoms.)  
Might have more O_O_

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*****LET IT RIPPPPP! :D*******

So, they were stuck with cleaning the school. That sucks big time, since the school was quite huge. Kai pouted as he squeezed a piece of cloth, wiping the wall. Bryan was outside sweeping leaves. Spencer was tending to the gardens. Ian was currently cleaning up gunk on the roof. Tala was helping out the cafeteria with orders and dishes. So, he got stuck with inside of the school... the floor, the walls, the windows... it wasn't very fair. However, the rest had promised to help out once they were done with theirs...

Who would want more work though? Kai bet they were doing their work deliberately slow. Kai pouted again. The floors were dirty with footprint, the windows with handprints and the walls with fingerprints... Boo. Why were the students so dirty?

Kai pouted. This wasn't fun at all! Kai blinked interestedly as he saw Spencer singing merrily to some flowers, and decided to observe a little.

*****With Tala*****

"What cha want?" Tala said grumpily, like any cafeteria lady would.

"Oh!" The girl blushed, not used to seeing such a handsome young man wearing an apron serving her... especially since this young man had such piercing blue eyes and cutely, messily tied up red hair and pinned up fringe... "W-well..."

"Get on with it, BITCH!" Tala snarled.

The girl, with tears in her eyes, shrieked. "Why do you have to be so mean?"

"Coz you're not my family," Tala sulked. "Now get on with it so i can leave."

"Hmph! You just ruined my appetite!" The girl shouted, turning to leave.

"Well, yeah, so was mine, you ugly freak!" Tala hollered.

The girl slapped him.

Well, needless to say, Tala was removed from the front after he did much much worse the the girl... flipping a bowl of food into her face and kicking her away. Tala pouted, rubbing his sore, red cheek as he went to the mountain load of dishes... until he saw Bryan outside, raking leaves. Tala smiled brightly, dashing outside.

*****Ian and Spencer*****

Ian sighed as he carefully stepped on the slippery floors of the balcony. Whose fault was it? Not his. So why did he have to clean up? After the rain, many leaves had fallen onto the roof, plus there were left over candy wrappers, and... cigarette butts? Ian pouted, and simply chucked all of the rubbish below into the garden one by one.

"IAN! STOP THAT!" Spencer growled from below. "YOU ARE KILLING MY FLOWER FAIRIES!"

Flower fairies? Ian's interest was piqued, and he threw more rubbish down.

"IAN! NOOO! MY CHOOCHOOKOOKOOS!" Spencer screamed.

"Choochookookoos?" Ian snorted. "Wazzat?"

"MY cute little dwarfs, of course! You burnt them with those cigarette butts!" Spencer huffed.

Curious to see what else Spencer had, Ian threw more down.

"My little boobiewoobies!" Spencer cried in horror.

...Boobie...woobies...? Ian broke down in laughter. "Hahaha! What are THOSE... hahaha, then?"

"Oh, they're my little wittle spirits... u crushed them with those leaves!" Spencer sulked, pursing his pink lipglossed lips. "Ian! You can't be so evil! You must treat them kindly!"

"Oh yeah?" Ian snorted... "Let's see what happens after Bryan comes!" Ian spotted Bryan moving closer...

*****With Bryan*****

"Feh, boring," Bryan rolled his eyes. He was holding a simple rake. A rake, dammit. And it was taking forever... he didn't get it. Why can't people just use a leaf blower... like...

That old cleaner out there?

Bryan's eyes glinted dangerously as he chuckled evilly to himself. He jumped over the school's fences and struck the old man on the head. The old man fell, and Bryan stole the leaf blower.

"TIME TO CALL IN THE BIG GUNS!" Bryan roared, jumping back in with his new weapon. He blew at the leaves with a high power, ripping out the grass as well. "MUAHAHAHA!"

Girls screamed as their skirts flew... not, they were in class.

"Kyaaa!" Tala screamed as his lower half of the apron flew up. "Oh, darling, you pervert, you!" Bryan blinked. Tala was looking horribly cute in his cafeteria worker get-up... Wait, why was he even here? Did he finish his chores? Bryan tried to switch the leaf blower off, to no avail. Leaves were blowing everywhere now, into Tala's face. The leaf blower suddenly went crazy, wanting revenge for its old master!

"AHHH!" Bryan was trying hard to keep the machine under control. However, it was so powerful that it forced Bryan to step backwards continuously, swinging around wildly. "Bry-bry! Oh my, he's so hot with machinery," Tala said airily, fanning himself with a hand.

"TALA! HELP ME STOP IT!"

"Have fun, dear~!" Tala waved merrily.

Bryan crashed into Spencer, who dropped the water hose he was carrying... suddenly, it was a madness of water and air and leaves, as well as plants being blown away!

"NOOO! MY LITTLE FLOWER FAIRIES! MY CHOOCHOOKOOKOOS! MY BOOBIEWOOBIES! MY LALALABAAAAS! MY HAHAOHAHAOHAHAHAS! MY LUGOLUGOKOKO! MY POPOPOPOPOPAA! MY TALAWAAWAAS! MY KAIOHOHOHS! MY IANONONONOS! MY BRYANANANAS! MY BALLS!" (Yes, he did say balls, and yes, he named some of his weird mystical creatures after his family :D)

Ian laughed maniacally, accidentally slipping... and falling down into the chaos below, landing smack onto Bryan.

"OWOWOW..." Ian mumbled

"FUCK! IAN!"

"NO, FUCK YOU,BRYAN!" Spencer screamed.

"Aww! How can you guys have fun without me?" Kai asked sadly, walking over.

"MY BABYBOY!" Tala squealed, fussing over Kai. "Aw~! Well, they're playing a bit rough now, don't you think?" Indeed, it was turning into a wild fistfight in there. Tala hugged Kai close to him, both of them watching the fight. There was a whirlwind of water, dirt, plants, rubbish, and everything that was getting bigger...

"Erm, shouldn't we stop them?" Kai asked cutely. "It's not good to fight..."

"It IS getting a little out of hand... CHILDREN! CHILDREN! Stop fighting!" Tala shouted, and Kai covered his ears.

Everyone paused to stare up at Tala with wide eyes.

"KISS AND MAKE UP!" Tala ordered.

Ian escaped quickly. He pulled Kai along with him to a safer zone away from Bryan's reach.

"Kiss and Make up?" Bryan asked incredulously.

"Yes~!" Tala rushed over to give Bryan a big wet smacking kiss on the lips. "Kiss~!"

"And Make up," Spencer said with amusement, powdering Bryan's face, adding red lipstick and mascara.

"Wha- TALA! SPENCER! ...Why am I the only one? Argh, whatever, DIEEE!" Bryan lifted the heavy wind blower... and Tala was blown away by a whirlwind of water, rubbish, plants, dirt... you get the point, into the wall. Tala groaned in pain. Spencer, however, remained standing. So, what does this mean?

That's right.

"Putting on the pounds eh?" Ian asked slyly, mocking.

"Time for a diet?" Kai suggested innocently.

Spencer flushed, and spun on his pink high heels to face the two. "You two... IT'S NOT MY FAULT CHOCOLATES TASTE SO DARN GOOD!" Spencer went crazy and chased after Ian and Kai.

Bryan, however, was filled to the brim with worry for Tala. "Hey, Tala, stop faking death. Tala!" Tala remained motionless against the wall, his head bleeding. "Tala!" Bryan went closer, and knelt down beside Tala. "Oh god, Tala, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to... How would I know you were so goddamn light... Please wake up, Tala... I'll do anything... anything, to wake you up..."

"Anything...?"

"Yes..." Bryan sobbed.

"Like calling me darling...?"

"Yes, yes, my darling..." Bryan cried.

"Like french kissing me...?"

"Yes yes, like french kissing you..." Bryan repeated like he was in a trance, leaning down to kiss Tala.

...After a few minutes, Tala was horribly flushed. "Oh my. You really did it."

"Yes... anything... as long as you'll wake up and be fine again..." Bryan sighed.

"Well, like, raping an unconscious me?" Tala blinked. Bryan nodded...and...

"...OMG! BRYAN! STOP! BRYAN! I WAS KIDDING! I'M AWAKE! SNAP OUT OF IT!" Tala screamed, freaked out. His shirt was unbuttoned, his hair was out of its hairband, and well, Bryan's hands was at his pants' zippers.

Bryan smirked, "Well, why don't we continue?" At this, Tala blushed even redder than his own hair.

"You... you... you were faking?" Tala gasped.

"Well, you wanted to manipulate me, so i let you," Bryan chuckled, a low, deep sexy chuckle which made Tala shiver...

"Ahem," Ian coughed.

"Ahem," Spencer coughed.

"AHHHHH! OMG MUMMY AND DADDY ARE GONNA-mph." Kai's mouth was covered by Ian and Spencer. Embarrassed, Tala quickly buttoned back his shirt and stood up, refusing to look Bryan in the eyes. Bryan snickered, finally he got some payback. Kai blinked, before running over to give Tala a hug.

It was then the discipline master arrived...

"YOU GUYS! ARE YOU FREAKING IDIOTS? DO YOU KNOW WHAT CLEAN-UP MEANS?"

Bryan and Ian shared a look.

"YOU'VE MADE EVEN BIGGER MESSES! I DON'T CARE, I WANT YOU TO PAY FOR THE COAST OF DAMAGES!" He gestured wildly to the broken windows, torn out garden, damaged wall, and Tala's broken dishes. "YOU PEOPLE ARE-"

**BAM!**

The discipline master was smacked into the wall by the giant awesome leaf blower Bryan and Ian held up. The Blitzkrieg family snickered, well, until the discipline master stood up, fuming red, with a funnily ruffled appearance. His hair was falling off his head...

Wait, falling off his head?

"HE'S BALD! PUAHAHAHAHAAAAHA!" Tala laughed, clutching his stomach, pointing at the discipline master.

"Oooh, Picture, picture..." Kai looked around for a camera. Ian handed him one. Kai smiled brightly and thanked Ian.

"My, my... He could've gone with better quality hair," Spencer disapproved.

"AHAHAHA! THE DUDE WAS FUCKING BALD! OH MY FUCKING GOD! THIS IS SO FUCKING HILARIOUS!" Bryan guffawed.

"Yo, cool it with the f words," Ian sighed. Bryan stuck out his tongue childishly at Ian. Ian reached up to pull the offending tongue.

"OWH! IWAN! EW!" Bryan coughed.

"SHUT UP, YOU UNDISCIPLINED BRATS! DID YOUR PARENTS TEACH YOU MANNERS AND RESPECT?" The discipline master growled, losing his effect of sterness due to his baldness. He flusteredly put it back on.

Kai blinked and stared at Tala and Bryan. Then shook his head.

"Oi! Kaisy! What's that supposed to mean?" Tala pouted, a bit hurt.

"You don't teach manners," Ian mused.

"Okay, well, lesson one, you don't tell people to shut up when you talk about manners and respect," Bryan rolled his eyes, sticking out his tongue and staring at it, before glaring at Ian. "...Ian, weren't you cleaning the roof just now?"

"Yea?" Ian smiled.

"...Did you clean your hands?" Spencer stifled a laugh.

"...Course... not?" Ian blinked innocently, before running away.

"IANNN!" Bryan roared, running after Ian.

"Well, no, we don't exactly have parents," Spencer gave a soft smile. "But your parents probably didn't teach you either."

"Yeah, where's your honesty? Wearing a wig?" Tala snorted.

Infuriated, the discipline master screamed, "YOU GUYS ARE SUSPENDED! DON'T COME TO SCHOOL TOMORROW!"

"Well yeah, you shouldn't come too, ass!" Tala growled, grabbing Kai's hand and pulling Kai away angrily, leaving the school. Spencer sighed and followed after calling Ian and Bryan back.

Well, suspension wouldn't stop them from their mischief!

"...The leaf blower could blow away the discipline master but not Spencer?" Kai asked innocently.

"Holy shit. You're heavier than that fat ass?" Bryan said, flabbergasted.

"You _ARE_ seriously overweight," Ian smirked.

"Hm, I'm sure I saw some slimming advertisement somewhere..." Tala wondered out loud.

"...ARGHHHH! I AM NOT FAT!" Spencer screamed, chasing after his family in his murderous rage, until he fell due to his high heels. Everyone laughed at Spencer's misery.

*****End*****

* * *

**THE SPENCER SONG!**

Lalala~ I love my garden~

Lalala~ With my little wittle friends~

We dance, we sing, and we cheer...

TOGETHER NOW!

MY LITTLE FLOWER FAIRIES!

MY CHOOCHOOKOOKOOS!

MY BOOBIEWOOBIES!

MY LALALABAAAAS!

MY HAHAOHAHAOHAHAHAS!

MY LUGOLUGOKOKO!

MY POPOPOPOPOPAA!

MY TALAWAAWAAS!

MY KAIOHOHOHS!

MY IANONONONOS!

MY BRYANANANAS!

MY BALLS!

Lalala~ such a magical garden!

XP: Review if you liked! Review if you didn't like too xD


	18. The DRAMA

XP: Thanks for reading everyone! Here's a new chapter, to make up for the long period of times where I don't update due to mindblocks. Anyway I would like to **dedicate this chapter to imma-pink-bubble **coz yeah, for the awesome long reviews that make me write 3 Love ya all. Read on! This chapter has a lot of speech, sorry about that. Hahas. I know I'm kinda neglecting my other stories now, I'm sorry ):

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Thanks for all your reviews and feedback! They help a lot.

**FallenHope-Angel: Thanks! (: Yeah, they are like that, huh? Tala and Bryan~ Spencer will continue to be girly for quite awhile, i suppose. It might never end. He has to be the big sister :D Thanks for the review!**

**babydragonXXX: Glad you liked. LOL.**

**Prince-the-Ripper-666: Prince the ripper, as in, BELPHEGOR? :D I LOVE BELPHEGOR. BELPHEGOR FTW. Aww, nice to know that someone cares :D Glad you liked it ^^ Woo~ Randomness spreads~~**

**andysanime: Ian insists that Spencer is overweight. xD They were bound to get suspended one day, these lovable troublemakers :D Here's the new chapter!**

**ash1692: That's alright, Tala will give Kai his pikachus. Yeah, there's sort of a hidden plot in the randomness. It's kinda TalaKai and TalaBryan and sometimes other pairings? But Tala and Bryan are husband and wife afterall, so yeah... There will be moments of both. And don't you dare hurt Kai! ...Doubt you can, anyway, with Tala there to protect him (:**

**imma-pink-bubble: Hey! Yeah, i did write those down as well in the cranes (: Hahaha, i love reading your reviews xD They really inspire me to write more. So yeah, here's the new chapter!**

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_Family: Tala is the wife! The second name is the father? lol._

___1) Tala, Bryan, Daughter Spencer. (Oldest. Legal.)  
__2) Tala, Ray, Son Kai. (Second oldest from 'rape')  
__3) Tala, Brooklyn, Son Ian, (Third oldest from 'rape' in basement.)  
__4) Tala, Tyson, Daughter Daichi (Youngest currently, from 'rape' Coz Tyson ate the flavored condoms.)_

_________And...someone new is adopted? Read to find out who! (:_

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*****START*****

Kai was happily doodling on the couch, lying on his stomach, swinging his legs in the air as he propped his head on one arm, the other holding a color pencil. He masterfully drew the picture into a realistic Bryan who was...who was...

_Naked?_

"What the fuck are you doing?" Bryan growled.

"Drawing what I saw," was Kai's innocent reply. Bryan's eye twitched.

"Aw! Baby Boy, you're so talented!" Tala cooed, glomping Kai.

"That's really bad," Spencer chided. "Kai's a kid and he's drawing such wrong stuff."

"Well, yeah, he has Tala and Bryan as parents, duh," Ian snorted. Ian gave the drawing a once-over, then gave Kai a thumbs-up. "Really realistic, Kai. Especially the... ahem, sizes."

"Oi!" Bryan growled. "...Dammit, none of you show me any respect around here!"

"Do you deserve any?" I an replied coolly.

"Hey, hey, back down, Ian. I know you're really protective of Kai, and that's sweet, but don't forget who's your father..." Tala smiled softly, ruffling Ian's hair.

"He's not my father! My father is Brooklyn!" Ian protested. At this, everyone froze. "Hell, Bryan's only the father of Spencer! Why ain't my dad, Brooklyn, here? It's not fair! I hate my stepdad, Bryan! He abuses us!"

"Ian..."

"Shut up! Spencer's a flamboyant gayass who likes tutus, Daichi's a wild brat living in the jungles, Bryan's a shithead bastard, and Tala's such a whore! And... and Kai's such a crybaby! I hate you all!" Ian screamed.

"Are you pms-ing?" Spencer asked. "Because if you are... I _totally_ understand."

_"Ian's pms-ing, pms-ing, pms-ing,_

_Ian's pms-ing and he hates the whole world~_

_Oh, I fell my heart~breaking..._

_Oh, I feel my tears~ falling,_

_Oh, he hates us, he hates us,_

_And I feel so very-"_

"_TALA!_ NOT THE TIME TO SING!" Bryan growled. Tala pouted.

"Ian..." Kai said softly, eyes brimming with tears.

"Shut up! I hate you all! I'm leaving!" Ian cried out, running out of the house.

"Ian!" Kai reflexively got up to chase after him, but was stopped by Spencer. "I think you should let him calm down first. We need to think of a plan..."

Everyone sat in a circle._ Silence..._

"...Guys can pms?"

"TALA!"

"...Can I have that drawing of Bryan?"

"Tala!" Bryan growled, face reddening from both embarrassment and anger.

"Sure, even though there's not much to look at," Kai secretly insulted.

"Yay! I'm gonna frame it and out it on my wall like a loving parent does for a kid's drawing!" Tala said proudly, taking the drawing from Kai... which was ripped to shreds by Bryan.

"Ahh! Damn you, Bryan, such a spoilsport," Tala sulked.

"Daddy, you shouldn't have done that," Spencer said, frowining. "Look, Kai's crying! You don't know how hard he worked on that drawing." Indeed, Kai's eyes were tearing up.

"Aw, Kaisy!" Tala sighed, hugging Kai and smoothing Kai's hair back from his forehead to plant a kiss on it gently. "Look, Hubby!" Tala glared at Bryan accusingly. "See what you've done! You made Ian run away from home and made Kai cry!"

"Yeah daddy, you should keep your anger in check," Spencer advised.

"I...I..." Bryan hesitated, then burst out in rage, "Hey! Why are you guys always blaming me and ganging up on me? Pls, how long can a drawing take? And how is it my fault?"

"3 hours," Kai mumbled.

"Exactly! 3 hou- wait. 3 HOURS?" Bryan was shocked.

"Didn't you see how detailed it was?" Spencer rolled his eyes. "Plus, he kept redoing it until it was perfect." He pointed to the abandoned crushed paper balls which littered the floor.

"Aww, my cute little Kai..." Tala cooed, before glowering at Bryan.

"What! I didn't know! Besides, you were in the wrong first, to draw such stuff. And Tala! It's your fault for whoring around and making more kids!"

"My fault?" Tala whispered, tears falling down his cheeks.

"Tala..." Kai reached out for Tala. but Tala shied away.

"I tried so hard for the family, and you say it's my fault?" Tala screamed through a shaky voice.

"What did you do that was so hard?" Kai asked, puzzled.

"...Uh... I... I... That's it! I had enough!" Tala dashed out of the house.

"Tala!" Kai once again stood up immediately to chase after Tala. He was stropped forcefully by Bryan's tight grip on his arm. "Don't chase after that idiot."

"Bryan! Let go! You're hurting me!" Kai whimpered, pulling away. He jumped out of the window instead of the door.

Bryan and Spencer stared at each other awkwardly. And didn't move.

***What really happened***

Ian ran out and smirked, stifling a laugh as he nimbly climbed up to the rooftop of the house. He waited for awhile. And listened. He could hear some muffled shouting. And then, he looked down, in time to hear the door slam and to see Tala get out, with tears in his eyes.

"Psst! Tala!" Ian hissed.

"Huh?" Tala blinked through teary eyes and looked up. He brightened into a smile. "Oh, Ian! You're- mph." Ian jumped down and covered Tala's mouth. "Sssh!" He pulled Tala up to the rooftop. "Remember what we said, Tala?"

Tala stared blankly at Ian.

"...Guess not," Ian sighed. "Alright, then, this morning, you see..."

****In the morning****

"Hey! Hey, Taaaalaaa! ...Mummy! Wake up!" Ian called softly, stopping at the side of Tala and Kai's bed. Yes, that's right, the two boys shared a bed. As Tala insisted he should sleep with his baby boy. The bed was big enough for them, especially since they were so skinny and didn't really move much in their sleep.

"Mmm?" Tala moaned. He glanced at the digital clock and the red numbers.

_Fuck, it's 5 am..._

"I was just so excited I couldn't sleep!" Ian chirped.

Tala groaned. "Ian, sweetie, does that mean you've not slept at all?"

"Yup~!" Ian said excitedly.

"...Ian?" Kai mumbled sleepily. "Nightmare?" Kai reached out to Ian and pulled Ian to the bed, under the warm covers with him and Tala. Ian felt very comfortable and safe there, but that wasn't the point! Kai snuggled and hugged Ian tighter.

"No, silly Kai, I'm here to talk about Bryan, not to sleep!" Ian laughed, dislodging himself from Kai.

"Bryan?" Tala sat up immediately, then fell off the bed. "Ow... W-where?"

"Tala~!" Ian pouted. "You know how Bryan always acts tough and macho and like he hates us?"

"Uh. yeah. so?" Tala sighed, ruffling his messy bed-head of red hair. He was tired... he climbed back into the bed. Kai made a happy sound in the back of his throat and moved closer to Tala. Tala wrapped his arms around Kai and rest his chin on Kai's messy two-toned hair.

"I've got a plan! You see, later, we'll somehow make him angry-" Ian giggled.

"That's reaaaally easy," Kai cut in, smiling lazily.

"Yup! Then, we'll all run out of the house one by one dramatically coz of him and his insensitivity, and see if he chases us! Then we'll see if he actually loves us or not!" Ian finished happily.

"Ohhh, okaaaayyy," Tala smiled. "I'm in~ It's fun to see Bry-bry angry... ... ... Bye, Ian. Sleep calls."

"Ah! Hold on, we'll meet at the roof after we run out, k?" Ian added as an afterthought.

"Sure, sure," Tala yawned, his eyes were fluttered close. Within seconds, soft snores were heard.

"Mmm, bye, Ian," Kai said happily, basking in Tala's warmth.

Ian happily left the room.

****End of scene****

"Uh... oh yeah! Sure, yeah, I remember, totally," Tala said nervously.

"Like real," Ian snorted. "You're really easy to see through, Tala... Hm, Kai's a little late."

"Who, me?" Kai said innocently from behind Ian, glomping Ian. "Wah!" Ian cried out, alarmed.

Giggling, Kai revealed a plastic bag. "I bought ice-cream~!"

"Good thinking, Kai-kai, it IS rather warm, ain't it?" Tala grinned, taking out a mint ice-cream stick.

"Yes! You bought my favorite brand!" Ian cheered, taking out a chocolate chip ice-cream.

"Of course, bro, I know you best," Kai smiled softly. He took out a vanilla.

"Aw, Kai... sigh, I would've told Spencer about the plan, but, you know, the roof might collapse if he joined us on the roof," Ian sighed, looking out at the scenery. "...Why aren't they doing anything yet? It's too quiet."

"I'll scout~!" Kai cheerily volunteered, stuffing the stick into his mouth and climbing down expertly to the back of the house, sneaking into a window on the second floor.

Kai blinked.

And he blinked again.

Tyson and Hilary were on the floor... Tyson and Hilary and Max was all jumbled up on the floor, a tangle of limbs... It was Tyson's room, and Hilary was screaming.

"Oh! I, erm, eh," Kai stuttered, blushing. "Ah... Sorry to interrupt your threesome!" And he fled back up to the rooftop, tomato red. Max climbed up after him.

"Oi! Intruder!" Tala growled, pointing at Max with his ice-cream stick. "State your name, favorite color and purpose!"

Ian sweatdropped at the favorite color.

"Erm, Max Mizuhara, yellow, and I'm here to tell Kai that it wasn't a threesome at all!" Max said awkwardly.

"Ooh, I prefer red, and you're welcome to be here, anyone in a threesome is cool," Tala said approvingly.

"It was a threesome! I'm sorry to intrude!" Kai covered his ears and closed his eyes.

"...Can i have an ice-cream?" Max asked, eyes twinkling.

"No, bitch!" Tala pouted. "Mine! All mine!" Tala held the plastic bag protectively to his chest.

"Hey, Tala, can't you see the situation?" Ian sighed.

"What situation?" Tala asked in confusion.

"Max. The child of Tyson and Hilary. Was born and abandoned. Isn't it so sad? Don't you just want to adopt the boy?" Ian fake sobbed.

"Ohhh, so that's what it was..." Kai said in awe. "Hilary was screaming coz she was giving birth after she and Tyson got it on..."

"No, actually, I have enough kids," Tala admitted.

"What are you guys talking about?" Max asked, stealing an ice-cream and licking it.

"...Okay, nevermind, I changed my mind. MAX MIZUHARA! YOU ARE NOW MY BABY, COZ YOU CAN ACTUALLY STEAL FROM THE GREAT ME!" Tala announced, before hugging Max and freaking him out so much that Max started screaming.

"Oi! Someone calm him down!" Ian said hurriedly.

"Max. Calm. Down." Kai said forcefully, holding Max's shoulders. Max refused to stop.

"Ah, geez," Tala sighed. "Only one thing left to do."

**Tala kissed Max. **

Max shut up immediately, eyes widening. His ice-cream stick slipped from his grasp, and dropped down... onto Bryan? Max promptly fainted.

"Mm, Mango ice-cream," Tala licked his lips, letting go of Max who was caught by Kai and pulled to safety from falling.

Bryan looked up. And a murderous look came into his eyes.

"Oh, shit! Eh, uh, Bryan, I can explain. I was kissing Max to shut him up, coz I hugged him, coz he was my child, coz Tyson and Hilary had a threesome or something, coz Kai went into their room, coz Kai bought ice-cream, coz Ian came up with this plan, coz you have a small dick... wait..." Tala thought over what he said, and looked at Bryan. Bryan was absolutely seething. "OOPS!" Tala whimpered, jumping off the roof and running off.

**"TALA IVANOV!"** Bryan roared.

"AHHHH!" Tala shrieked girlishly.

"No, no, Tala, you should go KYAAAA!" Spencer demonstrated, forming his lip-glossed lips into a big O.

"KYAAA is for fangirls, sis," Ian smirked from the roof. "...And your girly voice is really disgusting."

"What did you say...?" Spencer asked menacingly.

"Nothing at all~! Little brothers are supposed to annoy older siblings afterall, gayass," Ian said smugly.

"Why you little-! Well, if I wasn't wearing my favorite frilly pink dress from _Girl Palace, _I would definitely climb up there and personally kill you!" Spencer swore.

"Oh, really? It wouldn't be because of, I dunno, coz you're too fat to get up?" Ian mocked.

"Ah, hey... stop fighting..." Kai was horribly flustered as he didn't know who to help. Max was foaming at the mouth, Tala was gonna be killed by Bryan, Ian and Spencer were fighting... "Everybody... stop... **STOP__****!****" **Kai clutched his head, screaming in pain as dark waves radiated off him.

"Shit! Kai, Kai!" Tala pushed past Bryan, pushed past Spencer, jumped up the roof and pushed past Ian. Ian accidentally fell off, and Spencer caught him. He and Spencer stared at each other awkwardly. "Sorry, Spencer..." Ian mumbled as Spencer helped him onto the floor.

"No, I should be sorry, I was too quick-tempered," Spencer smiled gently.

"KAIII!" Tala roared, lunging himself at Kai, tumbling them both off the roof, painfully onto a rose bush. "OW! Shit, FUCK!" Tala got the worse of it, and he quickly got off the bush with Kai, and ripped parts of his clothing and skin. He hugged Kai to his chest tightly. The dark energy resided a little.

**"Don't fight... Don't fight..." Kai screamed.**

"Shhh, Kai, Kai, it's alright now, no one's fighting anymore, k? Good boy..." Tala whispered, stroking Kai's hair.

"...Tala?" Kai said softly, looking up fearfully, looking like a vulnerable little puppy. Tala's heart just went _awww..._

"I'm here, Kai, and I'll always be..." Tala said gently.

"Promise?" Kai asked in a small voice, clutching onto Tala.

"...Yeah," Tala smiled, before collapsing onto the ground.

"TALA!" Kai cried out in alarm. Tala was bleeding from many different spots. Bryan, Spencer and Ian rushed over.

"Who the hell grew that rose bush?" Bryan growled.

"Hiro," Ian supplied helpfully.

**"HIRRRROOOO!" **Bryan ran off into the house. Screams could be heard.**"YOU BASTARD!"**

"WTF DID I DO?" Hiro asked in pain.

**"YOU GREW A ROSE BUSHHHH!"**

"WTF DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH ANYTHING?" Tyson tried to stop Bryan.

**"ROSES HAVE THORNS, DAMMIT!"**

"Uh, so you don't like thorns?" Ray asked.

**"YEAH! FUCKING THORNS!"**

"...What did the thorns do to you?" Hilary questioned, miffed.

**"THEY PRICKED TALA AND TALA's GONNA BLEED TO DEATH DAMMIT!" Bryan continued to hit Hiro.**

"Uh, then shouldn't you be out there calling an ambulance or something?" Ray said logically.

**"DIE HIRO! WAIT...DAMN! YOU'RE RIGHT!" **Throat rather sore from all that shouting, Bryan rushed out to see Ian helping to take the thorns out from Kai while Spencer bandaged Tala, whose thorns were already taken out.**"IS EVERYONE OKAY?"**

Everyone looked a little stunned from how ruffled, worried and angry Bryan looked.

"Tala, are you okay?" Bryan demanded, grabbing hold of Tala's shoulders.

"Huh, uh, yeah," Tala nodded. "Just bleeding my life out and all."

"Kai?" Bryan turned to Kai quickly.

"Yup! Ian's taking good care of me," Kai said cheerfully.

"Ian?"

"Uh, leg a bit twisted, but otherwise okay," Ian replied.

"Spencer?"

"Just overweight, but no injuries," Ian answered for Spencer happily.

"Oi!" Spencer whacked Ian's head.

"...Max?"

"Aww! So sweet! You already care for the new family member?" Tala grinned. Bryan blushed. "He's okay, he just fainted."

"Anyway, yay! Mission success!" Ian cheered.

"BRYAN LOVES US!" Kai giggled.

"BRYAN LOVES ME!" Tala hugged Bryan.

"...What?" Bryan was confused.

"Wait. You mean, all this was planned?" Spencer gasped.

"Uhh, not all of it?" Tala gave a nervous laugh. "Ah haha... Haha... RUN!"

"Aw shit I can't!" Ian grabbed his leg.

"GET ON!" Tala said hurriedly. He carried Ian in a piggyback and ran off with Kai.

**"COME BACK HERE, YOU IDIOTSSS!"** Bryan thundered.

Kai took something out of his shirt. A picture of a naked Bryan.

"...He _is_ small," Ian commented offhandedly.

"YAY! I LOVE YOU, KAI!" Tala blew an air-kiss to Kai, who laughed.

**"ARGH! I'LL KILL YOU ALL!"** Bryan swore.

_*****END*****_

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_XP: ...Heh, he never does. Kill them, I mean. He loves them too much. And you know you love them too, so review~! ^^_


	19. Explanation and seriousness

**XP: ATTENTION! Yes, there is less randomness in this chapter. Why? Well, the fact that I'm not in the best of moods, and that I needed to explain the necklaces and add in more Bladebreakers appearances due to requests... so yes, i wrote the front part randomly first and the back part seriously weeks later. So... yeah. SORRY I TOOK SO LONG! ...longest chapter ever.**

**THE NEXT CHAPTER WILL BE FUNNIER. I PROMISE. AND IF I CAN'T ACHIEVE THE PROPER STANDARD I WILL NOT UPDATE! RAWR!**

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_Thanks for all your reviews and suggestions! they help a lot._

_imma-pink-bubble: The perfect pic for Bryan's face? O_O Wanna see. LOL! I'm really glad you can relate to the characters! Haha. Sorry for the slower update this time, and I hope this chapter doesn't bore you, because, well, it's more solemn than usual. Meh. ICE-CREAM RAWKS! :D_

_Pratik Roy: Hello, whoever you are :D I'm not very good a straight pairings, I'm sorry ): I'm glad you liked my fanfic, here's the next chapter._

_Prince-The-Ripper-666: Yes, thank you for your support T_T You've been a loyal reader. I love you. What I said wasn't meant to offend you D: It's just, great that someone cares (:_

_Petalwhisker: Glad you loved it! Thanks for your support~! Hope fanfiction lets you post stories now (:_

_andysanime: Yes, Bry's a big meanie... that's why it's so fun to bully him xDDD But deep down he loves his family (: Muahahaha! Yes, guys really seem like they pms someties :/ _

_babydragonXXX: Your name makes me think of Tyson. Hmm. Yes, Max is awesome :D Ian is a genius. Yes, I have random plots :D Haha! Hope you'll continue to support the fic (:_

_beybladerkaiya: Sorry that the quality has fallen. It has attracted more readers though... It is per your request. Well, here's the explanation and stuff, more Bladebreakers time, and though there is no Tala Ray fight, there is a TalaKai and TalaBryan fight. Look at the quality and judge for me. _

_myblackcrimsonrose: It'll be sweet again next chapter. It might be a bit bitter now... sorry. You are excused (:_

_Maashy-Gaara4life: Uh oh. Do you NOT like them like possessed children? If so, this fic may not be for you ): Anyway, the necklaces are explained in this chapter..._

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**Family: Tala is the wife! The second name is the father. lol.**

**1) Tala, Bryan, Daughter Spencer. (Oldest. Legal.)**  
**2) Tala, Ray, Son Kai. (Second oldest from 'rape')**  
**3) Tala, Brooklyn, Son Ian, (Third oldest from 'rape' in basement.)**  
**4) Tala, Tyson, Daughter Daichi (Youngest currently, from 'rape' Coz Tyson ate the flavored condoms.)**

**And they have one more adopted son, Max, who is born from Tyson raping Hilary... Tala gives him much love (:**

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**_________***START!***_**

"Kaiiiii~ What are you doing~?" Tala drawled, trying to look over Kai's shoulder at whatever Kai was covering up hurriedly.

"N-Nothing! Nothing at all!" Kai stuttered nervously.

"Oi, oi, let your kid brother see," Ian grinned, snatching the paper away. Ian's smile grew even brighter. Spencer came over to take a look too, his eyes widening and lips forming into a 'O'. "Oh my..." Ian wordlessly handed it back to Kai, who was blushing.

"Eh~ What? What?" Tala thrust his lower lip out, begging. "Let me see~!"

"No!" Kai ran off to hide the paper.

"...My... my little Kai has grown up and is keeping secrets from me..." Tala sobbed.

"What's going on?" Max asked curiously.

"...Oh, yeah. OH, MY LITTLE HONEYBUNNY MAXIE~! WELCOME TO THE FAMILY! Don't worry, I'll be fair towards all of you, and give you guys equal amounts of love~" Tala hugged Max tightly. "Yeah, Daichi-kun should be coming soon as well." Tala squeezed Max tighter, crying. "WAAAHHHH! KAISY IS KEEPING SECRETS FROM ME!"

"Oi,oi, don't freak Max out again," Ian frowned, prying Tala's hands off Max, who was laughing nervously.

"Aw, trying to be the protective older brother even though you're like," Spencer held his thumb and index finger close together such that there was only a small gap between, "this short?"

"...BITCH! YOU'RE GOING DOWN!" Ian growled, lunging.

"Holy shit, that's exactly like Bryan," Tala commented with his eyes wide, clutching onto Max again.

"Ahhh! No, Ian! You're gonna ruin my make-up! You're gonna rip my favorite hot pink tank top! And I'm wearing a black mini-skirt, don't push me down onto the floor! People will see my... OOF!" Spencer and Ian rolled onto the floor, with Ian cackling maniacally. Tala facepalmed when he saw Spencer's pink panties. "...panties."

"Spencer... What have I told you about wearing safety shorts, huh? You wanna go through the TALK again?" Tala sighed.

Spencer paled visibly. "Anything BUT the TALK!"

"Tala... lemme go...!" Max gasped.

"Hmm, let me think. Nah," Tala smiled, hugging Max around the waist that Max's back was to his chest. He rested his chin on Max's fluffy blond hair.

"..." It was too peaceful for awhile.

"I'll go get Bryan," Ian offered.

"I'll convince Kai to come back," Spencer offered.

"I'll go ask Hiro for a threesome," Tala offered.

"NOOOO!" Everyone screamed. Max winced from the loudness.

"Anything but that," Ian sighed. "Don't you remember all the chaos caused?"

Tala pouted. "You guys aren't any fun... Ah, well. I'LL GO GET ALL MY RAPISTS AND WE CAN HAVE A GIANT FAMILY GATHERING! OIII! RAY, TYSON, BROOKLYN! Oh, and Max's parents, TYSON AND HILARY! ... wait. That means Tyson raped me THEN raped Hilary? OH my... OHMYGOD... OHMYFREAKINGFUCKINGGOD!" Tala started hyperventilating.

"What?" Tyson asked. Ray, Hiro, Bryan, Hilary and Kai all came down as well.

"TYSON RAPED ME AND I GAVE BIRTH TO DAICHI AND THEN TYSON RAPED HILARY AND GAVE BIRTH TO MAX WHOM I ADOPTED!" Tala shrieked.

"You raped me?" Hilary growled. She slapped Tyson across the face. "WHEN?"

"W-wha?" Tyson mumbled.

"Ooh, this should be nice to watch," Ian commented.

"YOU BASTARD!" Hilary shrieked.

Ray, being the logical one, stated, "Hilary... How is it possible for you to give birth to Max from Tyson raping you? The little bastards are just playing with your head."

Hilary paused in her abuse. "You're right..."

"...It's over?" Tala blinked, then pouted. "Aww, so fast?"

"Ray's fault," Kai pointed.

"...I just stated the obvious to save someone from being misunderstood, how is it my fault? It should be you guys who's at fault," Ray argued.

"...Ohhhkaaaay, those who think Ray's at fault, raise your hands!" Tala said cheerfully. He, Kai, Ian, Spencer, Bryan raised their hands. Ray, Tyson, Hilary, Max and Hiro did not."...Oh shit, it's a draw, we can't use majority rule! Dammit, and I was sure we would win!" Tala growled. "Oi, Maxie-pie! Raise your hand, dammit!"

Max cowered back a little from Tala.

"I said to stop scaring him, bitch!" Ian hissed, saving Max from Tala once more, by pushing Max behind him to safety.

"Oh? And why should I listen to you, midget?" Tala retorted, successfully having his attention diverted. Ian signalled for Max to run, who ran to Tyson.

"...I can't believe I'm doing this, actually stopping a fight," Bryan sighed, before thundering, "KIDS! STOP FIGHTING!"

Everyone stared at Bryan, wide-eyed and shocked. All was silent for awhile.

Then Tala and Kai shared a look. And pounced. Onto Bryan. "AUGH!" Bryan went down, with two giggling teens on top of him. The chaos resumed once more.

Ian and Spencer got into a fight about manliness.

"YOU GAYASS! YOU PRANCE AROUND SECRETLY IN YOUR ROOM IN TUTUS, RIGHT? I SAW!" Ian accused. "I BET YOU'RE JUST DYING TO GO TO A BALLERINA CLASS!"

"How did you-! Wait. WHO ARE YOU TO COMMENT ON MY MANLINESS?" Spencer roared.

"YOU HAVE NONE, ANYWAY!" Ian huffed.

"WHY YOU! I BET MY THING IS BIGGER THAN YOURS!" Spencer shouted. Way to bring it down to the gutter, Spencer...

"OH YEAH, HUH? WANNA CHECK!" Ian dared. "I BET YOU GOT YOURS SURGICALLY REMOVED AWAY ANYWAY!"

"DID NOT!" Spencer swore.

"DID TOO!" Ian hissed.

"NUH-UH!" Spencer pouted.

"ARE YOU GUYS GOING THROUGH PUBERTY? YOU'RE SO TRIGGER-HAPPY! I'M SO PROUD!" Tala cheered. "FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT!"

Hilary was not convinced and was still hitting Tyson. Hiro and Ray were caught in the mess when they tried to stop it. Max blinked and tried to absorb what was happening. "MY FAVORITE BLOND BIMBO!" Tala cheered, hugging Max again. He seemed to like hugging Max alot. "MY FLUFFY LITTLE BIRDY!"

"Too many nicknames..." Max facepalmed.

Kai stared at the fuming Bryan who was slowly getting up. "Uh, Tala, things don't look too good..."

"Huh? Yeah, things never look good with Bryan or on Bryan," Tala said dismissively, cuddling Max.

"DIE!" Bryan thundered. Kai blocked the blow for Max and Tala, going down in one hit on the head.

"KAI!" Everyone paused in their fights, looking over in worry. A lump was growing on Kai's head. "Eh, Kai, wake up!" Tala slapped Kai lightly.

Kai woke up, blinking. He pushed Tala away from him harshly and looked around. His eyes narrowed darkly. Without a word, he went out. Everyone looked at each other in confusion. Tala quickly followed. "Eh, Kai!"

Kai ignored him.

"Stop, Kai! ...DAMMIT, JUST STOP!"

Kai stopped, turning back with a look full of contempt. "What do you want, Tala?" He spat.

Tala froze. "...Kai?" He called out hesitantly, a look of confusion.

"What's with that face?" Kai smirked bitterly. "If you don't have anything better to say, I'm leaving."

Tala stood in stunned silence as Kai turned and left. "What the..."

"Tala!" The others caught up.

"I'll go talk to him," Ray said quickly, rushing off after Kai.

"What's wrong?" Ian asked worriedly. Tala's face was blank, frozen over. Bryan waved a hand in front of Tala's face.

"Did Kai lose his memory?" Tyson asked incredulously. "Did you see how he treated Tala? Icy."

"He hates me," Tala whispered. "He forgot... and he remembers that..." Tala broke down sobbing in Bryan's arms.

"What do you mean?" Max asked, confused.

"I think it's better not to ask," Hiro said softly.

Tala continued to wail and sob in Bryan's arms, whispering over and over Kai's name.

"You talk about another guy when you're with your husband?" Ian joked lightly, until Spencer pulled him aside and gave him a glare.

Ian pouted, and everything went silent except for Tala's sad cries.

"I can't take this!" Bryan growled, pulling the necklace off Tala's head. Tala slumped down for awhile, before standing up, brushing himself off.

"Tala?" Spencer questioned.

Tala wrinkled his nose in distaste as he stared at Spencer. "Spencer. Did you get majorly pranked by Ian?"

"...Not that I know of, why?" Spencer looked at Ian suspiciously.

"Because you're dressed like a girl with over-done make-up," Tala frowned. He sniffed haughtily and turned away, looking down at Ian. "Ian? Where's Kai?"

"Eh... uh, that... He had a memory loss and said he hated you," Ian confessed.

"Ah. I see," Tala hmphed. "Understandable. I hate him too."

Everyone looked on with 'wtf' expressions.

"Tala? This is the same Tala I've heard screaming about his love for Kai everyday?" Hiro asked incredulously.

"You, imbecile, must have been dreaming or high on drugs," Tala wagged a finger at Hiro. "Hmph, the older is as bad as the younger." Tala gave Tyson a condescending look.

"Why, that little-!" Tyson was held back by Max.

"What's wrong with Tala?" Hilary asked, confused. "He's like what he was before, a cold bastard."

"And I see you are the same as well, little ugly duckling," Tala insulted.

"WHAT?" Hilary screeched, and Hiro held her back.

Bryan was wondering if he did the right thing, staring at the phoenix necklace in his hand. Tala glanced over, and frowned. "Doesn't that necklace belong to that traitor?"

Hearing no answer, Tala stalked off by himself.

"Dude, someone has a stick up his ass," Tyson hissed.

*****With Kai*****

"KAI! Kai, wait up!" Rei ran over to Kai. "Stop, Kai-"

Kai abruptly stopped and stepped to the side, causing Rei to run past him and trip over a tree branch. "Ouch!" Kai smirked down at Rei, who gave Kai a weak glare.

"No, seriously, Kai," Rei stood up. "What's wrong?"

"What are you talking about?"Kai asked harshly.

"You and Tala-"

"Haven't we always been like this?" Kai cut in rudely, turning to walk away.

"Kai! You guys were best friends!" Rei hollered desperately, refering to the duo's crazy hyper-active time.

Kai froze in mid-step. "How did you know?" Kai said quietly, refering to their abbey days.

"It was obvious?" Rei answered, lifting an eyebrow.

"Really?" Kai looked up at the sky wistfully.

"He loves you, Kai," Rei said seriously, referring to their twisted kind of affection that surpassed a lover's kind of love which consisted of being like friends, best friends, brothers, family, soul mates, twins, etc.

"You should talk to him," Rei added.

At that Kai snapped. "Talk to him? He was the one who-" Kai suddenly clammed up, not talking.

"Who?" Rei urged.

"None of your business!" Kai snarled, walking away. Rei didn't stop him.

_Hmm... seems like there is an misunderstanding somehow? _

****And so let the hate war begin... ): ** (Has an awesome fight scene.)**

Kai went back to the dojo to find Tala siting gracefully on the sofa, sipping a cup of coffe daintily with his back straight and legs crossed. Tala set his cup down, lowering his eyelashes, before turning his head very calmly to glare lazily at Kai, who returned his own full force glare. None of them moved for a long time.

Until, Tyson's loud laughter was heard, and both of them abruptly broke contact, with Tala staring at the black tv screen which was not turned on, and with Kai walking briskly to his room.

"Oh. Did we interrupt something?" Max asked quietly.

"It's fine," Tala said in a harsh tone, staring fixedly at the blank screen.

"Erm, the tv's not turned on," Hilary pointed out nervously.

"Haha! What an idiot!" Tyson barked out a laugh. Hiro smacked the back of his head.

Tala stood up and simply walked past them, pointedly ignoring them.

"Hold on, Tala," Rei grabbed Tala's arm, looking towards the Blitzkrieg boys for help.

"You need to talk to Kai," Spencer continued.

"Oh? And if I refuse?" Tala asked airily, prying Rei's fingers off.

Bryan grabbed onto Tala's shoulder. "You can't refuse."

Tala's face darkened. "Kuznetsov. You are in no position to order me. Hands off."

"...Make me!" Bryan challenged.

And it turned into a war. Furniture was overturned, as Bryan and Tala fought, a fight no one has ever seen before. It was a mixture of everything, graceful strikes of taekwondo, overthrows of wrestling, pulling of hair like bitches, scratching like wild cats, throwing of weapons like books...

"MAKE THEM STOP!" Tyson shrieked. "GRAMPS IS GONNA KILL ME!"

"KYAA!" Hilary shrieked as a fork barely missed her.

"Over there!" Max pointed out to a overturned sofa, where everyone else apart from the two Russians hid behind.

"Hmph, you're not bad, Bryan," Tala smirked, flying into the air with a spinning kick with landed on Bryan's cheek, causing him to stagger backwards and spit out blood.

"FUCK!" Bryan roared, lunging forward to grab Tala who just landed softly on the ground. Tala jumped up, stepping on Bryan's back, lithe as a cat, grabbing an armload of books and flinging them at Bryan's head with scary accuracy. "Ow! OUCH! Shit, fuck you, Tala! You fight dirty!"

"Oh? How is using my natural reflexes, long legs and things available in my immediate vicinity called 'fighting dirty'?" Tala argued. Bryan protected his head with his arms and moved towards Tala again. Tala twisted on his left leg to twirl out of Bryan's grip, but Bryan anticipated that, because Tala got predictable after fighting with him awhile, you just had to survive long enough. Tala favored his left leg.  
Bryan grabbed Tala, and with a sumo like move, smashed him onto the ground. Tala swiped at Bryan's legs, causing Bryan to topple over. Tala jumped up, away from Bryan, trying to compose himself. Bryan started throwing a flurry of punches, with Tala dodging expertly. Tala, who analysed his situations quickly, spotted a plate on the table where he was being forced to move towards due to Bryan's punches.

With a kick, the plate flew up, along with a small metal spoon. Tala grabbed it, ducked a punch, and moved behind Bryan, holding the spoon to Bryan's throat. The fighting abruptly ceased. A trickle of blood flowed from where Tala held the spoon painfully on Bryan's throat.

"Bryan, you should know better than to challenge your captain," Tala huffed, trying to regain his breath. "Admit defeat and I'll let you off."

Bryan couldn't speak, speaking could cause the spoon to cut even deeper into his throat. He grunted, and Tala moved away, holding his stomach which got a hit from Bryan. Bryan rubbed his neck, swearing in Russian angrily. Warily, the people hiding behind the sofa got out, with Spencer tending to Bryan's injuries.

"Tala is dangerous," Tyson shuddered. "Remind me not to anger him."

"What the fuck happened?" Kai asked coldly, standing at the stairs. The room looked like a hurricane had gone through it. He looked at Spencer tending to Bryan's injuries, and at Tala and Bryan's ruffled appearances, and put the pieces together.

"Bryan didn't know his place," Tala said nonchalantly, smoothing down the creases in his clothes.

"Tala, we need to talk," Kai said darkly, moving up the stairs. Tala nodded, in agreement, following Kai up into his room. Kai locked the door as Tala sat down on his bed without an invitation.

"Alright, so tell me, Tala. What the fuck is wrong with you?" Kai hissed.

"ME? What's wrong with ME?" Tala huffed.

"You can't just keep lashing out at the Blitzkrieg boys because you have all that hatred contained within you. So, tell me, why do you hate me?" Kai leaned on the door.

"You left me!" Tala said quietly, accusingly. "I'm leaving," Tala said with finality, standing up.

"No, not until we sort out this mess," Kai frowned.

"You want to fight as well?" Tala glowered at Kai angrily.

"None of us ever wins, forget it. Is this about me changing teams?" Kai knew the changing teams thing was a popular topic amongst other temas.

"No, hardly. You left me in that room," Tala laid down on the bed. Might as well get it over with. "And you left the abbey afterwards."

"I didn't!" Kai defended. "I didn't leave the abbey willingly, my grandfather forced me to leave! He brought me over to Japan where he 'tutored' me one-on-one."

"I know that," Tala whispered, staring at the ceiling. "That's not the important part."

"...You mean the experimentation?" It was more of a statement than a question. Tala nodded.

"I hate you," Tala admitted.

"I know," Kai sighed.

"You hate me too," Tala sounded a little off.

"No, why would I?" Kai shook his head lightly. Tala froze.

"Liar. You lie everytime," Tala played with a loose string on Kai's blanket.

"Tala. I can hardly be blamed for the experimentation project. They created the necklaces out of the purest substances and elements on earth and fused it with the power of dark dranzer," Kai explained patiently.

"I know that," Tala said irrtably.

"So what are you hating me about?" Kai got frustrated. "You're unlucky, you somehow was born to be my perfect opposite yet the perfert similarity, which caused us both to be chosen for the necklaces. And you're not hateful about that. So what are you angry about?"

"You watched me get dragged off by those scientists when I was screaming your name. You didn't try to save me at all from the surgery of planting a chip in my brain so I could work with the necklaces," Tala accused. "You didn't even need a chip at all, being the owner of black dranzer."

"It's not about the pain, is it?" Kai asked softly.

"No," Tala admitted, voice taking a hard edge. "It's about the betrayal."

"I couldn't save you even if I tried, Tala-"

"COWARD!" Tears fell from Tala's eyes. "You bloody coward... trying's the important thing... You didn't bloody care about anyone else besides yourself in the end! You let them do it to me so you could have more power! You promised me! You'd be there for me when I shouted your name.."

"NO!" Kai shouted. "I couldn't even hear or see you, Tala."

Tala quietened.

"The black dranzer clouded my mind. It was so strong that it would kill me if the experiment didn't take place. It's power was too strong for my body, I was just a kid... It continued to draw me to its power, day by day, until I couldn't see, hear, speak or do anything, and I had to be chained down in case I went to black dranzer and used it, killing me in the process as I couldn't handle the power.

So, Biovolt created a method. They used the necklaces on both you and me to create some sort of bond. The power of black dranzer would move in a cycle through both of us, and the strain would lessen. Plus, your power of ice calmed it somewhat so that I was able to handle it when the power flowed back to me... It's kinda hard to explain, coz only I can use the power..." Kai explained.

"So that's why you didn't save me even though you were standing in front of me," Tala sighed. "So, I'm kind of your savior, huh?" Tala smirked.

"Yeah. You still hate me?" Kai asked, lying down beside Tala.

"Nah," Tala punched Kai in the gut. "But you deserved that." Kai flinched.

"Tala, I spoke so much, you know," Kai glared at Tala.

"Yeah. First time in your life," Tala chuckled.

"For you," Kai added. "Glad we finally cleared up everything."

"For me," Tala smiled. "So, why does everyone claim we go crazy when we wear our opposite necklaces then?"

"I dunno, maybe it's because it has the thoughts of both of us, and it made us turn... weird when it got exchanged?" Kai scrunched up his nose.

"Oh. We made a wish together, right?" Tala blinked, pinching Kai's nose. "One day... when we met up again..."

"What'd you wish for?" Kai asked, alarmed.

"Hmm, for Kai to have fun, I guess?" Tala shrugged. "I mean, you're always so distant and busy acting cool. I thought it'd be funny to see you all relaxed and giggly. Wait. What did you wish for?"

"Uhh. For Tala to be cheerful and happy no matter the situation," Kai blushed lightly. "You know, like sometimes when the Blitzkrieg boys all hang up together and boast about themselves and nudge and tease each other..."

"Explains," Tala deadpanned.

"Huh?" Kai blinked.

Tala stared at the necklace around Kai's neck, which wasn't glowing. "It doesn't work when one of us takes it off, huh?"

"Think so, it's complicated," Kai shrugged.

"Hey Kai, let's fake a fight," Tala suggested.

Kai smirked.

So they pretended to fight to alarm the BladeBreakers, and the photo the hyperactive Kai drew sat on the desk, a drawing of all of them, Tala, Kai, Bryan, Spencer, Ian, Ray, Max, Tyson, Hiro, Hilary, Kenny, Daichi and Brooklyn, with the words on the top, 'My family'.

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**XP: *Happy* Glad they're okay now! I hope everyone understands the concept... look forward to the next chapter coz there'll be a family gathering~! Review and tell me what you think, I'm sorry about how serious it is right now, it'll lighten back up the next chapter! promise!**


	20. Fights, Flashing, Family

XP: Sorry guys. Mindblocked for seriously long. I wrote bits and pieces every few months.

I may not update for a long while again. Sorry.

Sometimes i feel i get worse and darker as I grow up. Hmm.

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** Thanks my reviewers, those who stuck with me, even though i am freaking slow, and the new ones, who motivated me as well.**

**_Beybladerkira: More Bladebreakers, a fight between Rei and Tala over Kai... well. I had a mindblock for so long. Hope you don't mind the shit i managed to squeeze out. If ya still not satisfied, you're welcome to leave._**

**_Mashy-Gaara4Life: Hope you managed to write a good story :) _**

**_babydragonXXX: Thanks! :)_**

**_Ash1692: Is Kai hurt now?_**

**_Mangatrial: I guess so :)_**

**_Andysanime: Thanks for understandin' yo!_**

**_Rangerapprentice: I'm really glad you like it! New readers are especially welcome :) Hold on a sec, I'll explain it... And yeah. Family. ._. Gets that way sometimes. _**

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Necklace: When they wear their respective ones, Kai the phoenix and Tala the wolf, it supresses their emotions and they feel lesser and more detached.

When one of them isn't wearing it, the power of Dark dranzer overwhelms Kai, making him lose consciousness sometimes.

The experiments caused many bitbeasts to reside within Kai, and they surface when they feel their master is threatened, which explains the chapter in which Kai gets possessed and burns the school and stuff. However, these 'nicer' bitbeasts are also suppressed by necklaces.

When they wear each other's necklace instead, their locked emotions are amplified and they get more dramatic. It also has to do with the wishes they made in the earlier chapter, for each other to always be happy and stuff.

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**Family: Tala is the wife! The second name is the father. lol.**

**1) Tala, Bryan, Daughter Spencer. (Oldest. Legal.)**  
**2) Tala, Ray, Son Kai. (Second oldest from 'rape')**  
**3) Tala, Brooklyn, Son Ian, (Third oldest from 'rape' in basement.)**  
**4) Tala, Tyson, Daughter Daichi (Youngest currently, from 'rape' Coz Tyson ate the flavored condoms.)**

**And they have one more adopted son, Max, who is born from Tyson raping Hilary... Tala gives him much love (:**

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** **START*****

Kai walked into the room he shared with Tala, holding up the phoenix necklace he got back from Bryan. "You sure?" Kai asked softly, holding it out to Tala. Tala took it with a raised eyebrow. "What's wrong?"

"Well, we'll go insane," Kai deadpanned.

"Why not?" Tala gave a little smile, twirling around in the computer chair he sat on.

"Why NOT?" Kai blinked, staring at Tala incredulously.

"We're happy when we do it, right?" Tala held the necklace up in the air, tilting his head back to stare at it, wth the light reflecting the shiny metal. The metal glowed bright orange. "We have fun, and we bring that fun to others as well. Isn't that good for us?" Tala paused, turning around to look at Kai with a hesitant look.

"Yeah, we do create some messes, but everyone, well, mostly everyone's happy," Kai nodded. His wolf necklace was already around his neck.

"To be honest, I'm a little scared. We don't remember what we do, and we lose control, and act unlike ourselves," Tala admitted.

"But you're gonna do it anyway," Kai smirked, walking over to Tala, resting his arms around Tala's shoulders and putting his chin on Tala's head.

"Yeah, I'm already crazy," Tala snorted, slipping the necklace on. "But you'll be crazy with me."

Both the necklaces glowed a bright red, before Tala and Kai blinked.

"Kaisy?" Tala looked up at Kai with a warm smile.

"Tala!" Kai chuckled, when Tala pinched his cheeks.

"You excited?" Tala questioned, bouncing up and down in his seat. He grabbed Kai, causing Kai to fall onto his lap, before spinning on the chair, making both of them turn.

"Yeah! Stop spinning, Tala!" Kai giggled. "You're making me dizzy!"

"No~!" Tala grinned, spinning the chair even faster.

"Tala~!" Kai whined. "IAN! IAN, HELP ME!"

Ian opened the door and looked in with hesitant eyes. They brightened when he saw Kai and Tala fooling around like hyper active kids. Ian smiled and stopped the chair from spinning. "Mum, you shouldn't spin so much, what if Kai pukes up his breakfast?"

Tala pouted. "Aw, a little fun won't do any harm, will it?" He poked Ian's stomach, Ian's weak spot. Ian giggled, and ran away. Tala rolled on the computer chair, chasing Ian.

"YOU CAN'T ESCAPE, IAN!" Tala gave a maniacle cackle, smiling evilly as he chased Ian by rolling the computer chair on wheels.

"Ah, Tala! Slow down!" Kai shrieked, grabbing onto Tala for dear life. Ian suddenly turned, and Tala followed. "We're, we're gonna crash!"

Ian leaned against the wall to stop, but Tala's chair was too fast to brake, and they fell...

"Oops?" Tala smiled sheepishly as the chair tumbled down the stairs, sending both Kai and Tala flying, a guilty Ian looking from his hidden spot just behind the wall.

When both of them squeezed their eyes shut, expecting a visit to the hospital, they were both pleasantly surprised. They fell into something strong and sturdy, and they both opened their eyes.

Kai blinked.

Tala fluttered his eyelashes seductively.

"OH, HONEY~ I KNEW YOU WOULD SAVE ME~!" Tala cheered, hugging Bryan. Indeed, both of them were held in Bryan's arms, because Bryan and his _'daddy instincts' _told him to go to the stairs...

Not.

They were making a lot of noise and Bryan got annoyed, so he went to check it out but got two flying boys instead. "Urgh, get off me!" Bryan screamed, pushing Tala off, and gently setting Kai down, ruffling Kai's hair.

"What's this? Has he grown attached to his family afterall?" Ian said, acting as a running commentator.

"Aw, you know you love me," Tala giggled, slinking up to Bryan, throwing his arms around Bryan's neck.

Kai squealed, "Mommy and Daddy are gonna kiss~! K-i-s-s-i-n-g~!"

"Or, or maybe something even more _rated _than kissing~!" Ian said suggestivingly, wagging his eyebrows.

Seeing Bryan's murderous looks, Ian jumped onto the railing and slid down easily, (he was wearing socks) and grabbed Kai's hand to save both of them.

"I HATE YOU TALA IVANOV!" Bryan screamed.

"Man, one day he's gonna hurt his throat with all that screaming," Ian complained. Both he and Kai were now watching from a safe distance away.

"DO YOU KNOW HOW WORRIED I WAS?"

Everyone at the scene froze, staring at Bryan with huge eyes. Were those... tears glistening in Bryan's eyes? Tala's arms slid back to his side as he stared up at Bryan blankly.

"YOU BLOODY IDIOT!" Bryan screamed, shaking Tala.

Tala sent an SOS look to Kai, not knowing what to do. Kai frowned, thinking. He prodded Ian for help. Ian shrugged, pretending to be interested in the ceiling.

"TALA! HOW COULD YOU JUST CHANGE SO SUDDENLY? JUST WHEN I GOT USED TO THE CRAZY ONE, YOU TURNED BACK TO CAPTAIN MODE! TAALLAAAAA!" Bryan was ranting in rage. "TAAAAALAAAAA! TAAALA! TALATALATALATALA! TAAAAALLAAAAA! TALALALALA! TALALALALALALALALALALALALA~! TAAAAAAAAAAAAALAAAAAAAAAAAAA~!"

Tala sent a very pitiful look to Kai. Kai looked away, shoulders trembling in what seemed like laughter. Ian looked at them and laughed openly. "Oh my god, Bryan sounds like he's singing!" Ian shook a finger at Bryan. This caused a laugh to escape from Kai's lips.

"TAAALAAAALAAALAAA~~" Ian mimicked in a high pitched voice. Kai laughed uncontrollably.

"TALAAAA, OH MY LOVE, MY TAAAALAAA  
MY WONDERFUL TAAALAAAA  
HOW I MISSED YOUUUU  
TAAAALAAAA~!  
Oh, MY WONDERFUL TAAAALAAAA~!  
I KNOW I'M SHOUTING BUT I LOVE YOUUU~!

I JUST LIKE SCREAMING YOUR NAME IS ALL~!" Ian sang, and Kai clutched onto Ian's sleeve with one hand and held onto his stomach with another, laughing, begging Ian to stop silently as tears came from laughing too hard.

"You... YOUUU! IAAAAANNN!" Bryan snarled.

"Oops, shit, run!" Ian grabbed Kai's wrist and ran.

Kai stumbled onto the floor, laughing too hard to breathe properly, let alone run. "Go...go ahead, Ian! HAHAHAHA! S-save...save, haha, yourself!"

"No, Kai! I'll never leave you!" Ian said in determination. "An older brother's gotta look out for the rest!" He didn't run away, nudging Kai, trying to get Kai to stand as Bryan drew closer.

"You're the older one? You're 'born' after me," Kai pointed out innocently.

"Alright, I Know I'm gonna die for this," Tala muttered under his breath. He jumped over to Bryan's back, wrapping his arms and legs expertly around Bryan's body to keep him restrained. "Run, Kaisy, Ian... I need a nickname for you. Hmm.. Ian... I-I? I-an-an?" Tala wondered as Bryan thrashed in his grip. "ARGH! RUN, MY BABIES!"

"Aaaaahhhh!" Kai screamed, running away, with Ian close behind him. They went over to the kitchen, where hushed whispers took place. Eyes brightening mischieviously, Ian raised a finger to his lips, hinting that they should eavesdrop on the Bladebreaker's conversation.

"I have no idea what I'd rather them be," Rei admitted.

"Cold bastards on one hand, crazy kids on another, talk about bipolar," Hiro shook his head.

"Well, they're both annoying no matter what!" Tyson huffed.

"Well, I guess they should have a chance to act like kids..." Hilary faltered, remembering the messes they made.

"I-I, well, they're both... strong-willed no matter what state they're in, and want things to go their way," Kenny stuttered nervously.

"Guys, let's just respect their decision, alright?" Max said cheerfully. He liked them both in both states, to be honest. Besides, they didn't torment him as much as the rest.

"Dude! Think of the havoc they'll wreck!" Tyson moaned.

"My house! I pay the bills here!" Hiro added, complaining.

"I may not have money, Hiro, my hero, but I do have a pretty nice ass," Tala said seductively, slinking past Kai and Ian who were hidden. Seeing their shock, Tala pouted. "Aw, am I not welcomed? I heard people talking sneakily and thought I'd check..."

"TALA!" Hiro stood up with much alarm. No one knew to be relieved or horrified at their decision to stay insane, well, insane on the outside, that is. "You... you... you should stop talking like that."

"Oh, but why?" Tala licked his lips suggestively, eyeing Hiro. "I speak of no lies, I do look pretty good."

"Don't cheapen yourself by talking about sex like that," Rei said awkwardly, seeing Hiro at a loss of words as Tala were drawing little patterns on Hiro's chest.

"You wanna fight?" Tala asked darkly, snarling.

Seeing no point in eavesdropping any further, Ian went back to check on Bryan while Kai hesitantly walked into the kitchen to join Tala.

"Tala~" Kai whined, tugging at Tala's sleeve, demanding attention.

"Yes, baby blue~" Tala squealed, hugging Kai. "Oh, aren't you adorable~! Let's continue that threesome we've always spoke about having but never got the chance to get to, hm?" Hiro, who heard the word threesome, twitched, and had to be tied down with the help of Tyson, Hilary and Kenny to stop him from destroying the house in his blind rage. Rei narrowed his golden eyes into slits, seeing how blatantly Tala had ignored what he said, he was still making jokes about his own body for humor's sake.

"Ah! So scary!" Kai cowered and hide behind Tala. "It's a tiger!"

"Ah, my silly boy, it's just a harmless kitty," Tala soothed, looking around them with a gleam in his eyes when he spotted Max. "MAXIE PIE!" Max winced as Tala went over to greet him very warmly, pulling him into a tight hug. "GOOOODDD MORNING!"

Ian returned, pulling along an unconscious Bryan with a nonchalant look on his face, as if he'd been used to pulling Bryan around.

"What happened?" Rei asked worriedly.

"Pressure points, Tala did it, I suppose," Spencer spoke up, entering the room for the first time. "Sorry my dears, had to do my make-up, and my hair wasn't behaving this morning... oh, dear, and I couldn't find that black bra of mine..."

"B-bra?" Kenny asked softly, blushing darkly.

"Yes, bras are most delightful, they-" Spencer went on to explain, but was stopped.

"YOU SISSY!" Ian snarled, always ready for a fight with Spencer, though god knows why. Sibling rivalry, I suppose.

"YOU MIDGET!" Spencer growled back.

"TALA, IAN AND SPENCER ARE FIGHTING AGAIN!" Kai called out unnecessaerily loud, since they were just in the same room. "Wait. Why does he need a bra?"

"COZ HE's SO FAT HE HAS MAN BOOBS!" Ian screamed, dodging a punch. "HAH! YA CAN'T THE GREAT ME, YOU SHE-MAN!"

"YOU BAD BOYS, YOU WANT A SPANKING?" Tala smirked mischieviously, a devious light in his eyes as he held up a whip.

"Urgh, I know you're into kinky shit, Tala," Bryan groaned, rubbing his head as he tried to sit up, but couldn't.

"...Oh, that's why you seemed taller, I thought you wore high heels," Spencer clucked his tongue at Ian. Ian was currently standing on Bryan, but could hardly match up to Spencer's giant build.

No one noticed Rei's clenched fists, the slitted eyes as the conversation went on.

Well, except Kai. Kai looked nervously at Rei, before moving closer to Bryan for comfort. Bryan had flung Ian off him, crashing Ian into Spencer, and now the two started a new round of verbal sparing.

"You idiot, you creased my favorite hot pink tank top with Mingming's singature!" Spencer frowned.

"M-ming ming? You like mingming too? I'M SO HAPPY!" Kenny cheered, and he and Spencer went into a fan talk about mingming,

Tala's eyes darkened, remembering how she'd hurt Kai before... But he slapped on a smile and continued to hug Maxie close to him. "Aw, my little fluffy birdly, you're so huggable," Tala sighed against Max. Kai moved even closer to Bryan at the talk of Mingming. Soon, he was latching onto Bryan's arm tightly with no intention of letting go soon enough.

"YOU! What are you doing with blondie boy over there, who looks so dumb like he has no IQ?" Bryan growled rather possesively.

"Ohmygod!" Ian squealed with fake enthusiasm that sounded very fake indeed. "Bry's jealous~!" Accompanied by a roll of the eyes.

"Hey, be nice to your new son," Tala pouted, stroking Max's cheek tenderly, brushing back strands of blond hair. "He's smarter than he looks!"

"You mean to say I look dumb?" Max deadpanned.

"Nah, it's just that... you're blond," Tala shrugged. "Bryan always said blonds were idiots."

"Oh, wasn't that because he was dumped by that blond girl?" Kai blinked innocently up at Bryan. Bryan froze, and Kai slipped off from Bryan's arm, tottering over to hide behind Tala, who automatically ruffled Kai's hair.

"I... I..." Bryan started to sob. Everyone blinked. "She... I thought she liked me..."

"Eh..." Ian scratched the back of his head awkwardly. "Um, cheer up, Dad..."

"SHE DUMPED ME COZ I HAVE A SMALL DICK!" Bryan bawled. "I thought it was the inside that counted!"

"PFFT!" Ian choked back at laugh, shoulders trembling. "I-I can't take this, Kai, pass!" He clapped hands with Kai as he walked to some place to hide and laugh.

"Daddy," Kai said sweetly, "It's alright, you have us now. We love you for who you are, small dick or not." Kai gave wide, innocent eyes to Bryan, complete with a sincere smile as he looked up at his father.

Tala choked on his own spit, coughing before laughing.

"KAI!" Bryan burst out, suddenly hugging Kai so tightly he turned blue. "Sigh... you really are the sweet one in our family."

"Our family...?" Spencer smiled. "BRYAN FINALLY ACCEPTED IT!"

"Stop... talking... about... DICKS AND ASSES!" Rei growled, lunging at Bryan, scratching the hell out of him a feral snarl.

"ARGH!" Bryan fell to the ground, trying to fend off the fur monster.

"No! My husband!" Tala sobbed, signalling for Kai and Ian to cry too. They pretended to cry as well. "Oh, look at my poor children and I... they'll be fatherless and I'll be a widow_!"_

"MY GOD! This is driving me FUCKING INSANE!" Rei raged.

"He said the f-word," Ian bawled.

"So mean!" Kai went along with it, wailing.

"This crap is ridiculous! How can all of you tolerate this? They were so much better when they MADE SENSE and had COMMON SENSE! Kai, don't let Tala influence you, come here!" Rei thundered, grabbing Kai's wrist.

"Ouch!" Kai whined, frowning. "That hurts!"

"And the EX strikes back, hohoho..." Ian commented into a spoon which he took as a makeshift microphone.

"You fucking santa? You're too short! You can only be an elf!" Spencer never missed the chance to take a jab at her mean bro! NEVER!

"You fucking fag!" Ian snarled, and they engaged in a cat fight of pulling at hair and clothes.

"Yo, let go of my baby! Our relationship is OVAL!" Tala pulled at Kai's other wrist.

"You mean OVER?" Max supplied helpfully.

"You're not so blond after all," Bryan hummed in consideration.

Rei and Tala engaged in a tug of war... where people from different sides decided to join in and help to pull, turning it to a Bladebreakers VS Blitzkrieg Boys.

"MAX! WHY YOU NO HELP US?" Tala screamed with his face scrunched up in effort.

"Dude, I you guys are much stronger! I'm balancing the power!" Max shouted back.

**... PULL. PUSH. PULL. PUSH...**

"Wheeee!"

Ian cheered happily, holding up a pink g-string, running towards Kai.

"EWWW!" Rei immediately let go, reminded of Mariah.

"EWWW!" Tala knew all too well where it came from.

Kai sighed and rubbed his aching shoulders.

"IAN! GIVE THAT BACK!" Spencer shouted, running in his wobbly, high heeled glory... which did not last long, showing them another kind of fat, round, white glory instead...

His butt.

His pink skirt flew up when he fell, flashing everyone unnecessarily.

"MY EYES!"

"AUGGHHH!"

"HE RAPED MY EYES!"

"I'M SCARRED FOR ETERNITY!"

"THE VIRGINITY OF MY EYES!"

"...You still have parts of you that are virgin?"

"SO MEAN!"

These were some of the responses to the mentally scarring sight.

"TEEHEEEHEE!" Ian giggled, like he was on drugs. He flung it out of the window.

"**KYAAAAA**!" Spencer screamed _deeply_, failing to sound like a girl in distress. He scrambled to get to his feet, flashing more of his ass.

"FUCK! Next time I go shopping with you, remind me, no more FUCKING SKIRTS!" Tala screeched.

"Mommyyyy!" Spencer whined in his rough voice. "OH! I HATE YOU, IAN!" He proceeded to try and climb the window, flashing people once more.

"Ew, FOR GODS SAKE!" Hiro slammed the window closed after Spencer, drawing the curtains.

Spencer only punched a hole in the wall beside the window and walked in.

"MY HOUSEEE! MY MONEY!" Hiro stared flabbergasted at the Spencer sized hole.

"THIS IS NONSENSE!" Rei cried out, pulling at his hair. He reached for the necklace around Kai's neck.

"NO!" All the Blitzkrieg boys were around Kai at once, forming a protective barrier. It was starting to be another Bladebreakers versus Blitzkrieg Boys war... The rest of the Bladebreakers immediately stood around Rei, prepared to jump in if need to.

Tyson, Hillary and Rei were pretty good at bitch fights. Max was pretty chill and peace loving, to be honest. Kenny was hiding somewhere, and Hiro looked ready to kill.

Kai was just shivering and being comforted, so he was in no state to fight. Tala is master in all bitch fights, Bryan is very protective, Spencer will just trip over himself again, and Ian got some sneaky tricks up his sleeves to win.

Who will win, if the fight began?

"One V One, or Team V Team?" Max asked, trying to slowly inch away out of the fight. There would be a lot of hair pulling involved, he knew, and he loved his blond tresses!

"I'm taking Rei," Tala announced, pointing haughtily with a slender finger.

"I'm out for your blood anyway," Rei tossed his hair over his shoulder.

"I want HIRO!" Ian chirped happily.

"I'll take Fat boy," Bryan cracked his knuckled.

"I ain't fat, you dickless bastard!"

Ohhhhh, he shouldn't have said THAT!

With that, the Bryan and Tyson fight started first, becoming a fist brawl which Bryan would obviously win. Tyson's strong point was kendo, afterall.

"Girl Fight!" Spencer announced, flinging a cushion at Hillary.

Hilary threw a vase back.

"Yeah, sure, I'll take Kai," Max concluded happily, pulling Kai aside to safety. Kai was fiddling with his necklace unhappily. Thus, Max entwined his fingers with Kai's and brought him to the fridge for some chocolate fudge icecream goodness.

Ian antagonized Hiro deliberately, focusing more on destroying the house and wrecking up more bills than physiacally injuring Hiro, who was tougher than a cockroach. Hiro chased him around, unable to catch the agile boy, kncoking and destroying things in the process.

Tyson got a few good hits in, but he was a crumpled, boneless mass when Bryan was done with him.

Tala and Rei were rolling about, pulling at messy hair, scratching each other's arms with nails, and biting whatever surfaces they could reach.

Spencer threw an apple at Hilary.

Hilary threw a table back, which splintered into pieces, missing Spencer completely due to her horrible aim.

Max and Kai were still eating icecream.

Kenny was still hiding in a cupboard or Spencer's underwear drawer or something.

"Yo yo yo! Wat ze chicken ish goin' on 'ere?" Tyson's grandpa stared, wide eyed, at the chaos. "Stop ze nutsos at once, yo!"

Everyone blinked at him and stopped.

And everyone pretended nothing happened.

Except Hiro, who was bawling at the state of the house.

*****End of Chapter 20*****

* * *

**XP: Tell me what you think? It would help me get back on track and stuff. **


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